Punch (68.1875)

176

[April 24, 1875.

PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

AN ATTACHED DEPENDANT.

Lady {particularly solicitous about the Health of the Elder Mrs. Jenkins). “0—er—can you Tell me how Old Mrs. Jenkins is?”
Butler {severely). “ Can’t say. Ma’am ! To tell the Truth, Ma’am, I don’t feel justified, as an old Servant of
the Family, in telling my Mistress’^ Age to Nobody."

THE CARDINAL’S CANTERBURY PILGRIMS.

Here’s a. welcome to His Amplitude, and, fair Sirs, rest you merry,
Hew Pilgrims to St. Thomas’s Church new opened in Canterbury—
St. Thomas grant you his blessing, but not his fate ; from that
May His Amplitude’s hat save His Amplitude’s head, and His
Amplitude’s head his hat.

See the strange whirligigs of time : beneath the Protestant frown
Of a Protestant Dean in a Protestant Church made out of St.
Thomas’s crown,

Here’s His Amplitude Cardinal Manning, red-hot from the kiss of
the Pope,

A new Romish Church of St. Thomas, in Canterbury, to ope.

With an Archbishop, and Bishops from far more than the four sees,
And mitred Abbots and Priors, of divers orders and degrees,

And Monks of all colours, and Canons of different calibre and bore,
And Peers by the dozen, and Baronets, and blue-blood Squires by
the score,

With what Protestants call their mops and mows and mummeries of
the Mass,

’Mid clouds of incense to blind, and gloom and glitter of painted
glass,

All in these days of Bismarck and Falk-Laws, have met here,
Catholics in this Protestant land, without let, hindrance, or fear.

i R L n°t that we l°ve their worships’ ways, or the Shibboleths of
their creed,

Or believe their Pope’s infallibility, or their Church’s power to
lead;

but that from English history one lesson we have learned,

Since Protestants racked Catholics, and Catholics Protestants burned.

Which is, that Oppression never yet could stamp Opinion out,
though Persecution, often, to Faith may have altered Doubt.

So we leave St. Thomas’s pilgrims free to open their church as they
choose,

And to put boiled peas, or unboiled, or none, ad libitum, in their
shoes. ,

The worst thing they ’re like to suffer is a good-natured rat-tat

From Punch's baton upon the crown of the Cardinal’s new red hat.

And e’en while Punch, raps, the Cardinal’s free, underneath that
hat, worthy man,

Towards forcing belief in the Pope, like peas, to do, may Punch
say, Yat-he-can ?

SAXON CALUMNIES.

It will not have escaped the notice of a warm-hearted and affec-
tionate, but sensitive and irascible, People, that, in the Weather
Chart heading the daily Meteorological Report in the Times, their
own native Isle of the Ocean appears from day to day marked with
notes of its condition, which are mostly alternations of “Dull,”
“ Fog,” and “ Gloomy.” Is this the way in which the Clerk of the
Observatory Weather Office dares to stigmatise, and defame, and
east his dirty diurnal slurs on “the first flower of the earth and
first gem of the sea ? ” Is there not, even among the representatives
of Home Rule themselves, one single Member that will vindicate the
fair fame and honour of poor Old Ireland, and enliven a dull debate
some evening by asking this question in the House of Commons ?

Paying the Piper.

We learn that Mr. Albert Grant has asked the Metropolitan
Board of Works to allow a Military Band to play in Leicester
Square every Saturday afternoon, and has offered to defray the cost of
the band. This request of Mr. Grant’s might as well be granted,
as the payment of the band will necessitate no grant of public
money—a grant sufficient for that purpose being Grant himself.