DOI issue:
May29, 1875
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16940#0236
228
PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 29, 1875.
EPSOM CHRONOLOGY.
rehistoric anti-
quity of Epsom.
875. The Saxon
Races introduced
by Hengist and
Hoksa. Great re-
joicings, as a matter
of course. Address
from the Mayor
and Corporation.
Horse-power (many
years before the in-
troduction of steam)
seen in operation
on the Downs.
1216. Epsom salts
discovered acciden-
tally, by moon-
light, in a grove of
horse- chestnuts, by
an eminent London
physician, who had
lost his way on the
Downs, while re-
turning to Town
from a consultation,
on horseback.
1339. Horse-ra-
dish introduced into
this country, from Arabia, by a native of Epsom, who had fought in
the Crusades under the Chevalier Bayard, and was, at a sub-
sequent period, elected an honorary member of the Jockey Club.
1602. The first cheval looking-glass seen in England, made by an
upholsterer at Epsom.
1745. The young Chevalier (disguised as a Jockey) present at the
Races. (This incident has been painted by Horsley, R.A.)
1779. The Oaks instituted. Won by a head by Tete-a-Tete.
1780. The Derby instituted. Won by a neck by Nectarine.
1784. The Derby won by Mr. Burke’s gray filly, Sublime and
Beautiful. Hence the origin of the proverb, “ The Gray Mare is
the better Horse.”
1788. A French Horse, who had been quite out of the betting—
Mors de Combat—the Winner of the Derby.
1790. Known as Darby and Joan year, the great race having
been won by Sir Bushey Park’s chestnut Mare- Joan.
1795. The first stone of the new Grand Stand laid (on the Oaks
Day) by the Lord Mayor.
1800. Dead heat for the Derby between Physician and
Apothecary. They divided the stakes.
1803. Longshanks won the Derby by a length.
1808. Kaleidoscope's year — ridden by Sam: Chutney. The
Jockey who was to have piloted the Winner, being unable to fulfil
his engagement through hoarseness, Chutney was taken as a sub-
stitute on the spur of the moment.
1814. _ The Allied Sovereigns visited Epsom. By a very remark-
able coincidence the Derby was won by Prussian Blue, and the
Oaks by Charlotte Russe.
(To be concluded Next Year.)
OCCASIONAL happy thoughts.
A Visit to some Furniture Auction Rooms. Remarks on
Specialists.
My Aunt, in lodgings at Ramsgate (perched, as it were, previous
to settling down in a nest of her own), wrote to say, that if I can pick
upanything cheap in the way of tables or chairs, old-fashioned, she
will be glad of it.
Having done Christie and Manson’s, it occurs to me that I will
inspect a furniture sale.
Happy Thought.—Send, to my friend Twinton Yick, who knows
all about this sort of thing.
Of course, at the very moment he might have been of use, he fails
me. He is out of town. I notice that this is invariably the case
when you rely upon a friend who is a “Specialist.” Twinton
ICo w!ien ^ waut to pick up some good furniture, cheap,
would be absolutely invaluable. He knows the dealers, he knows
their ways and their dodges; he knows the right people to go to,
ana the wrong ones to be avoided. Whenever you make friends
with a specialist—by which I mean some one who has obtained a
peculiar knowledge on any one particular subject, or has advantages
not shared by his fellow men—I say, whenever this Specialist friend
becomes very sociable and communicative, as, for instance, after
dinner, he will make you offers as generous as the wine he is drink-
ing. Perhaps he knows all about vineyards and importing. He
will say confidentially to you, “My dear fellow, this is a first-rate
glass of wine. Now 1 suppose you gave about sixty-four for this,
eh ? ” You don’t like to admit it, because you know that when a
Specialist asks the question he implies that you’ve been a sweet
idiot, and have given so much for an article really worth about half
the money , so you answer, Yes, that was about the amount. “ Ah,”
says the Specialist, “ I thought so. Now, look here, when you want
this sort of thing you come to me." The mystery and the emphasis
of manner and facial expression accompanying this announcement
quite take away your breath. You feel inclined to exclaim in a
subdued tone, “ Lor 1 you don’t say so.” Whereat he nods gravely,
sips his wine meditatively, as though considering whether you
could be trusted with a secret, and presently he will add, “ You
come to me; I can get this for you at about half what you ’re
paying.” Gracious Heaven! why haven’t I known this man years
ago! Henceforth (you determine there and then) never will you
buy any wine without consulting this clever person, who is evi-
dently “behind the scenes.”
Happy Thought.—So is the gas-man at a theatre “behind the
scenes but he is not an influential person: at least, I believe not.
T here are many who are behind the scenes without any advantage
to themselves, or their “ friends in front.”
What a number of Specialists behind some scenes or other I
have known ! And how invariably have they failed me when the
time came to invoke their aid—just as those three old Spinsters
failed the too credulous Macbeth, who ought to have been more
hard-headed as a Scotchman—\_Note.—Memorandum Book. Sub-
ject for an article in Typical Developments, under letter M.
Macbeth considered as exhibiting the (typically Scotch) absence of
any sense of humour, specially where he loses his temper, and
“strikes him.”—Vide Stage Directions]. In horses, for example,
as in my friend Gloppin’s case, who had said when you want a
horse, you send to me. I did send, and he didn’t come. A very
stout man, a Dr. Blumeidge, whose acquaintance I made at a
party, on hearing that I was going to sell a horse and trap, said to
me, confidentially, of course, “You go to Buckletop’s—young Jinks
is the manager at Buckletop’s now—and you just send in to him ;
say you know me, and he ’ll square it for you.” I thanked him
heartily. I asked him to dinner: he came. He repeated his advice.
I acted on it. I sent into Jinks; in fact, I saw Jinks on the
subject.
Jinks, a very horsey young person, with mutton-chop whiskers,
whose extremities were beautifully bright—I mean polished boots
and resplendent hat—took off his hat politely to me, and asked me
my business. I told him. Yes, there was no difficulty in dis-
posing of a horse, trap, and harness. The sale days were so-and-
so ; and they would go, he said, in the usual way. “ The usual
way ” gave me, as it were, my cue. Now was evidently my oppor-
tunity for bringing out Dr. Blumeidge’s name, because I didn’t
want my things to be sold in “ the usual way,” which meaDs, as I
understand it, at a dead loss to the vendor. So it now flashed
across me as a-
Happy Thought.—Look knowing, and mention I came from Dr.
Blumfidge.
Mr. Jinks bowed and smiled. No sudden effect from mentioning
Blumfidge. Jinks didn’t immediately look surprised and pleased,
and replv, “O, indeed, a friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s ? I shall be
delighted to do anything for a friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s. What
will you take ? Champagne ? Here, John, Champagne ! And as to
this horse and trap of yours, well, what do you expect to get for it,
eh? A hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds? Well, as a
friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s, I shan’t put you to the trouble of wait-
ing for the sale ; we ’ll manage all that, and here’s a cheque for two
hundred.”
That’s what was, in effect, my idea of what ought to have followed
on my mentioning Blumfidge’s name. Jinks, however, did nothing
of the sort. I tried Blumfidge on him again. I said, “ Dr. Blum-
fidge recommended me here ; and told me to mention his name to
you.”
Jinks smiles and bows. Yes, on consideration, he thinks he knows
Dr. Blumfidge, and, to satisfy himself, asks me (asks me.'/) “if
Dr. Blumfidge isn’t rather a stout man with a bald head ? ”
“ He is,” I replied, with a fast expiring hope that when he had
realised Dr. Blumfidge in his mind's eye, he would then cme out
enthusiastically. But Jinks never did come out enthusiastically;
on the contrary, having recalled Dr. Blumfidge’s appearance, and
identified him, he seemed to wish to avoid any further allusion to
him. He merely added, that “if I would send a man with the trap,
and so forth, it should be attended to,” and bowed me out. Irom
that moment I set down Dr. Blumfidge as a humbug. So with
Specialists in everything ; don’t trust them, that’s my moral.
Thinking over Twinton Vick and his wonderful purchases at
PUNCH, OB, THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[May 29, 1875.
EPSOM CHRONOLOGY.
rehistoric anti-
quity of Epsom.
875. The Saxon
Races introduced
by Hengist and
Hoksa. Great re-
joicings, as a matter
of course. Address
from the Mayor
and Corporation.
Horse-power (many
years before the in-
troduction of steam)
seen in operation
on the Downs.
1216. Epsom salts
discovered acciden-
tally, by moon-
light, in a grove of
horse- chestnuts, by
an eminent London
physician, who had
lost his way on the
Downs, while re-
turning to Town
from a consultation,
on horseback.
1339. Horse-ra-
dish introduced into
this country, from Arabia, by a native of Epsom, who had fought in
the Crusades under the Chevalier Bayard, and was, at a sub-
sequent period, elected an honorary member of the Jockey Club.
1602. The first cheval looking-glass seen in England, made by an
upholsterer at Epsom.
1745. The young Chevalier (disguised as a Jockey) present at the
Races. (This incident has been painted by Horsley, R.A.)
1779. The Oaks instituted. Won by a head by Tete-a-Tete.
1780. The Derby instituted. Won by a neck by Nectarine.
1784. The Derby won by Mr. Burke’s gray filly, Sublime and
Beautiful. Hence the origin of the proverb, “ The Gray Mare is
the better Horse.”
1788. A French Horse, who had been quite out of the betting—
Mors de Combat—the Winner of the Derby.
1790. Known as Darby and Joan year, the great race having
been won by Sir Bushey Park’s chestnut Mare- Joan.
1795. The first stone of the new Grand Stand laid (on the Oaks
Day) by the Lord Mayor.
1800. Dead heat for the Derby between Physician and
Apothecary. They divided the stakes.
1803. Longshanks won the Derby by a length.
1808. Kaleidoscope's year — ridden by Sam: Chutney. The
Jockey who was to have piloted the Winner, being unable to fulfil
his engagement through hoarseness, Chutney was taken as a sub-
stitute on the spur of the moment.
1814. _ The Allied Sovereigns visited Epsom. By a very remark-
able coincidence the Derby was won by Prussian Blue, and the
Oaks by Charlotte Russe.
(To be concluded Next Year.)
OCCASIONAL happy thoughts.
A Visit to some Furniture Auction Rooms. Remarks on
Specialists.
My Aunt, in lodgings at Ramsgate (perched, as it were, previous
to settling down in a nest of her own), wrote to say, that if I can pick
upanything cheap in the way of tables or chairs, old-fashioned, she
will be glad of it.
Having done Christie and Manson’s, it occurs to me that I will
inspect a furniture sale.
Happy Thought.—Send, to my friend Twinton Yick, who knows
all about this sort of thing.
Of course, at the very moment he might have been of use, he fails
me. He is out of town. I notice that this is invariably the case
when you rely upon a friend who is a “Specialist.” Twinton
ICo w!ien ^ waut to pick up some good furniture, cheap,
would be absolutely invaluable. He knows the dealers, he knows
their ways and their dodges; he knows the right people to go to,
ana the wrong ones to be avoided. Whenever you make friends
with a specialist—by which I mean some one who has obtained a
peculiar knowledge on any one particular subject, or has advantages
not shared by his fellow men—I say, whenever this Specialist friend
becomes very sociable and communicative, as, for instance, after
dinner, he will make you offers as generous as the wine he is drink-
ing. Perhaps he knows all about vineyards and importing. He
will say confidentially to you, “My dear fellow, this is a first-rate
glass of wine. Now 1 suppose you gave about sixty-four for this,
eh ? ” You don’t like to admit it, because you know that when a
Specialist asks the question he implies that you’ve been a sweet
idiot, and have given so much for an article really worth about half
the money , so you answer, Yes, that was about the amount. “ Ah,”
says the Specialist, “ I thought so. Now, look here, when you want
this sort of thing you come to me." The mystery and the emphasis
of manner and facial expression accompanying this announcement
quite take away your breath. You feel inclined to exclaim in a
subdued tone, “ Lor 1 you don’t say so.” Whereat he nods gravely,
sips his wine meditatively, as though considering whether you
could be trusted with a secret, and presently he will add, “ You
come to me; I can get this for you at about half what you ’re
paying.” Gracious Heaven! why haven’t I known this man years
ago! Henceforth (you determine there and then) never will you
buy any wine without consulting this clever person, who is evi-
dently “behind the scenes.”
Happy Thought.—So is the gas-man at a theatre “behind the
scenes but he is not an influential person: at least, I believe not.
T here are many who are behind the scenes without any advantage
to themselves, or their “ friends in front.”
What a number of Specialists behind some scenes or other I
have known ! And how invariably have they failed me when the
time came to invoke their aid—just as those three old Spinsters
failed the too credulous Macbeth, who ought to have been more
hard-headed as a Scotchman—\_Note.—Memorandum Book. Sub-
ject for an article in Typical Developments, under letter M.
Macbeth considered as exhibiting the (typically Scotch) absence of
any sense of humour, specially where he loses his temper, and
“strikes him.”—Vide Stage Directions]. In horses, for example,
as in my friend Gloppin’s case, who had said when you want a
horse, you send to me. I did send, and he didn’t come. A very
stout man, a Dr. Blumeidge, whose acquaintance I made at a
party, on hearing that I was going to sell a horse and trap, said to
me, confidentially, of course, “You go to Buckletop’s—young Jinks
is the manager at Buckletop’s now—and you just send in to him ;
say you know me, and he ’ll square it for you.” I thanked him
heartily. I asked him to dinner: he came. He repeated his advice.
I acted on it. I sent into Jinks; in fact, I saw Jinks on the
subject.
Jinks, a very horsey young person, with mutton-chop whiskers,
whose extremities were beautifully bright—I mean polished boots
and resplendent hat—took off his hat politely to me, and asked me
my business. I told him. Yes, there was no difficulty in dis-
posing of a horse, trap, and harness. The sale days were so-and-
so ; and they would go, he said, in the usual way. “ The usual
way ” gave me, as it were, my cue. Now was evidently my oppor-
tunity for bringing out Dr. Blumeidge’s name, because I didn’t
want my things to be sold in “ the usual way,” which meaDs, as I
understand it, at a dead loss to the vendor. So it now flashed
across me as a-
Happy Thought.—Look knowing, and mention I came from Dr.
Blumfidge.
Mr. Jinks bowed and smiled. No sudden effect from mentioning
Blumfidge. Jinks didn’t immediately look surprised and pleased,
and replv, “O, indeed, a friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s ? I shall be
delighted to do anything for a friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s. What
will you take ? Champagne ? Here, John, Champagne ! And as to
this horse and trap of yours, well, what do you expect to get for it,
eh? A hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds? Well, as a
friend of Dr. Blumfidge’s, I shan’t put you to the trouble of wait-
ing for the sale ; we ’ll manage all that, and here’s a cheque for two
hundred.”
That’s what was, in effect, my idea of what ought to have followed
on my mentioning Blumfidge’s name. Jinks, however, did nothing
of the sort. I tried Blumfidge on him again. I said, “ Dr. Blum-
fidge recommended me here ; and told me to mention his name to
you.”
Jinks smiles and bows. Yes, on consideration, he thinks he knows
Dr. Blumfidge, and, to satisfy himself, asks me (asks me.'/) “if
Dr. Blumfidge isn’t rather a stout man with a bald head ? ”
“ He is,” I replied, with a fast expiring hope that when he had
realised Dr. Blumfidge in his mind's eye, he would then cme out
enthusiastically. But Jinks never did come out enthusiastically;
on the contrary, having recalled Dr. Blumfidge’s appearance, and
identified him, he seemed to wish to avoid any further allusion to
him. He merely added, that “if I would send a man with the trap,
and so forth, it should be attended to,” and bowed me out. Irom
that moment I set down Dr. Blumfidge as a humbug. So with
Specialists in everything ; don’t trust them, that’s my moral.
Thinking over Twinton Vick and his wonderful purchases at