DOI Heft:
June 12, 1875
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16940#0258
252
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 12, 1875.
TRUE MOTHERLY SOLICITUDE.
“ B6w FOND YOU SEEM OF THAT ETERNAL OLD DOLL OF YOURS, MABEL?”
“ 0, Aunt, it has been the desire of all my Life to hide it from her that she’s a Doll. I hops she didn’t hear you ! ”
DISCONTENTED PERSONS.
The Duke of Cambridge, in the House of Lords the other evening,
declared that there were “ some people who were satisfied with
nothing.” His Royal Highness was perfectly right, and Mr. Punch
has great pleasure in giving a few specimens of the sort of military
men to whom the Field Marshal Commanding-in-Chief must
evidently have intended to make allusion.
The General, who has a great grievance about some particular
regimental button, who looks upon the Martini-Henry as “Non-
sense, Sir, nonsense,” because “ we did not use it, Sir, in the Penin-
sula, Sir ;” who talks of all men under fifty years of age, as “mere
lads, Sir—raw as bacon, Sir—raw as bacon,” and who invariably
wants to know, “what the dooce shall we do now” that leather
stocks and beaver shakos have become obsolete ?
2Ae Colonel, who is thoroughly dissatisfied with all his recruits,
because some of them (fine growing lads of nineteen) cannot exactly
iill the tunics of men of five-and-thirty, who has some ridiculous
grievance because he has been officially requested to keep the cham-
pagne bill down at mess, who cannot yet make out why the drill in
w>gue 'when he was a subaltern, should be altered now that he has
become a 1 leld Officer, and who (privately) is irritable to the last
because his regiment in reality is commanded by his wife.
, Major, who strongly objects to having to command a half
battalion; who is prepared to agree with his Commanding Officer
about every subject under the sun, and who consequently is quite
ready to believe that black is white if his Colonel happens to suffer
irom colour-blindness.
1 he Captain, who holds to the fixed idea that what is official
R^bt must of necessity be equitably wrong, who firmly belie’v
q at the prestige of the British Army disappeared with the Purcha
bystem, and who takes it for granted that the recruits of 1
Company must be bad, because it so happens that most of them nc
can Doth read and write, and even cipher.
• the Lieutenant, who has come to the conclusion that the Servi
is not nearly so chirpy as it used to be,” now that the men ha
to work to perform the duties of their profession ; who has a ve:
g grievance indeed because the Autumn Manoeuvres on one occ
sion quite seriously interfered with the date of his leave ; and who
considers “ Mufti ” becoming at all hours of the day and night, and
consequently uniform and its responsibilities “ the biggest bores
that ever were invented—don’t you know.”
The Sergeant, (a very rare specimen this) who has never liked his
stripes nor cared to rise to a commission; who sends letters to the
papers full of frivolous complaints, and yet has not the courage of
his opinions, who drills the men on parade and gives moral support
to their gambling outside the Barrack Square ; who, in fact, under
the uniform of the Queen hides the baseness of a traitor and the
meanness of a spy. And lastly—
The Private, who seeing the excellent examples set to him by his
superior officers, turns their grievances into burlesque, and tries to
out-Herod them all in his own grumblings.
LEGAL.
Mr. Punch is glad to hear that the Legislature is likely at last to
give Her Majesty’s County Court Judges some additional remunera-
tion, or, as Lord Lyttleton euphuistically expresses it, ‘ ‘ improve
their position,” for doing the whole Bankruptcy business of the
country (except the Metropolis), disposing of a very large number of
cases referred to them by the Judges of Her Majesty’s Courts at
Westminster in the most flattering manner, and undertaking every
possible civil jurisdiction, legal or equitable, past, present or future,
without a murmur. Indeed, if any one wants to see a fusion of law
and equity, he must go to the County Courts; and, if he wants to
see a con-fusion,- Ah, well! he must ask Sir Edmund Beckett
where to go to. Mr. Punch is also very glad to hear that there are
savings and gains to the country, by the labours of the County
Court Judges, amounting to upwards of £70,000 a year,* which will
meet the additional remuneration to them without any increase of
taxation on the public in general, or Mr. Punch in particular, and
will leave a handsome balance, which can be paid into Mr. Punch’s
bankers any day during the usual hours.
* See Sir Edmund Beckett’s letter on the Judicature Act in the Times,
May 20.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[June 12, 1875.
TRUE MOTHERLY SOLICITUDE.
“ B6w FOND YOU SEEM OF THAT ETERNAL OLD DOLL OF YOURS, MABEL?”
“ 0, Aunt, it has been the desire of all my Life to hide it from her that she’s a Doll. I hops she didn’t hear you ! ”
DISCONTENTED PERSONS.
The Duke of Cambridge, in the House of Lords the other evening,
declared that there were “ some people who were satisfied with
nothing.” His Royal Highness was perfectly right, and Mr. Punch
has great pleasure in giving a few specimens of the sort of military
men to whom the Field Marshal Commanding-in-Chief must
evidently have intended to make allusion.
The General, who has a great grievance about some particular
regimental button, who looks upon the Martini-Henry as “Non-
sense, Sir, nonsense,” because “ we did not use it, Sir, in the Penin-
sula, Sir ;” who talks of all men under fifty years of age, as “mere
lads, Sir—raw as bacon, Sir—raw as bacon,” and who invariably
wants to know, “what the dooce shall we do now” that leather
stocks and beaver shakos have become obsolete ?
2Ae Colonel, who is thoroughly dissatisfied with all his recruits,
because some of them (fine growing lads of nineteen) cannot exactly
iill the tunics of men of five-and-thirty, who has some ridiculous
grievance because he has been officially requested to keep the cham-
pagne bill down at mess, who cannot yet make out why the drill in
w>gue 'when he was a subaltern, should be altered now that he has
become a 1 leld Officer, and who (privately) is irritable to the last
because his regiment in reality is commanded by his wife.
, Major, who strongly objects to having to command a half
battalion; who is prepared to agree with his Commanding Officer
about every subject under the sun, and who consequently is quite
ready to believe that black is white if his Colonel happens to suffer
irom colour-blindness.
1 he Captain, who holds to the fixed idea that what is official
R^bt must of necessity be equitably wrong, who firmly belie’v
q at the prestige of the British Army disappeared with the Purcha
bystem, and who takes it for granted that the recruits of 1
Company must be bad, because it so happens that most of them nc
can Doth read and write, and even cipher.
• the Lieutenant, who has come to the conclusion that the Servi
is not nearly so chirpy as it used to be,” now that the men ha
to work to perform the duties of their profession ; who has a ve:
g grievance indeed because the Autumn Manoeuvres on one occ
sion quite seriously interfered with the date of his leave ; and who
considers “ Mufti ” becoming at all hours of the day and night, and
consequently uniform and its responsibilities “ the biggest bores
that ever were invented—don’t you know.”
The Sergeant, (a very rare specimen this) who has never liked his
stripes nor cared to rise to a commission; who sends letters to the
papers full of frivolous complaints, and yet has not the courage of
his opinions, who drills the men on parade and gives moral support
to their gambling outside the Barrack Square ; who, in fact, under
the uniform of the Queen hides the baseness of a traitor and the
meanness of a spy. And lastly—
The Private, who seeing the excellent examples set to him by his
superior officers, turns their grievances into burlesque, and tries to
out-Herod them all in his own grumblings.
LEGAL.
Mr. Punch is glad to hear that the Legislature is likely at last to
give Her Majesty’s County Court Judges some additional remunera-
tion, or, as Lord Lyttleton euphuistically expresses it, ‘ ‘ improve
their position,” for doing the whole Bankruptcy business of the
country (except the Metropolis), disposing of a very large number of
cases referred to them by the Judges of Her Majesty’s Courts at
Westminster in the most flattering manner, and undertaking every
possible civil jurisdiction, legal or equitable, past, present or future,
without a murmur. Indeed, if any one wants to see a fusion of law
and equity, he must go to the County Courts; and, if he wants to
see a con-fusion,- Ah, well! he must ask Sir Edmund Beckett
where to go to. Mr. Punch is also very glad to hear that there are
savings and gains to the country, by the labours of the County
Court Judges, amounting to upwards of £70,000 a year,* which will
meet the additional remuneration to them without any increase of
taxation on the public in general, or Mr. Punch in particular, and
will leave a handsome balance, which can be paid into Mr. Punch’s
bankers any day during the usual hours.
* See Sir Edmund Beckett’s letter on the Judicature Act in the Times,
May 20.