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208 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAKIVAEL [November 10, 1877.

IMAGINARY BIOGRAPHIES.

"A great discovery has been
made, according to the Zemar
and Bassiret, a Turkish news-
paper. Mr. Gladstone is
of Bulgarian descent. His
father was a pig-dealer in the
vilayet of Kustendje. Young
Gladstone ran away, at the
age of sixteen, to Servia, and
was then, with another pig-
dealer, sent to London to sell
pigs. He stole the proceeds,
changed his name from Tno-
zadin to Gladstone, and
became a British subject," &c.
—Daily News.

The Earl of Beacons-
field was changed at
nurse, and is really the
son of a Turkish Effendi.
Young Disraeli (his real
name is Tascrediman)
was a precocious boy, and
ran away from school,
being dissatisfied with the
slender acquirements of
the Head Master in
Modern Languages and
Physiology. After wan-
dering about the Caucasus
holding horses, " tent-
ing " birds, and doing
other jobs, he secreted
himself, as a stowaway,
on ..board a ship trading
with figs, sponges, and
washleathers, between
Smyrna and Hartlepool. Having ingratiated himself with the
owners of the vessel by his extraordinary talent for imitating the notes
of birds and other animals, he became supercargo, part owner, junior,
and finally senior partner in the firm. As a young man, before he
entered Parliament, Mr. Disraeli was fond of domestic pets, and for
several years kept a tame Russian bear in honourable captivity. One
day the creaturs, while engaged in play with its master, overstepped
the bounds of moderation, and knocked him down with its paw in
the front garden of the house which he then occupied in St. Peters-
burg Place, Bayswater. Bruin was immediately sold to a neigh-
bouring hairdresser ; and those who have closely watched the Prime
Minister's career, date from this occurrence the commencement of
the antagonistic feelings towards Russia with which he is credited.
Lord Beaconsfield is passionately fond of angling, and during the
season, when the weather is favourable, and there are no Cabinet
Councils, may generally be seen in a punt, on the Thames, not far
from Richmond Bridge, eating chocolate and fishing for gudgeon.

The Earl of Derby received his education at Christ's Hospital,
the Lord Mayor having kindly given him a presentation for that
noble foundation. Asa Blue-coat boy he was distinguished as the
ringleader in bolster matches, and for his steady perseverance in
acquiring the mastery of the bassoon. Yery early in his career he
became famous for his reckless daring as a gentleman jockey in
steeple-chases, and it was this revelation of equestrian talent which
secured him his first start in official life as Equerry to H.R.H. the
Duke of Susses. Afterwards he became Master of the Horse, under
Sir Rdbert Peel, but exchanged this appointment for the Buck-
hounds when the Corn Laws were repealed. The Foreign Secre-
tary is an inveterate smoker (Latakia), and writes all his despatches
in bed, seldom rising before noon, when he calls for his carriage and
four and dashes down to Epping Eorest or Clapham Common, where
in seclusion he prepares himself for the Debates in the House of
Lords. He is a great poultry fancier, and has carried off the prin-
cipal prizes at all the leading shows in the kingdom.

Nothing remarkable is recorded of the boyhood of the Marquis of
Salisbury, except his partiality for India pickles. At Oxford he
developed a taste for pugilism, and his leaning towards one of the
more pronounced schools of Nonconformist theology, even then ex-
cited feelings of uneasiness in the minds of his family and friends.
His Lordship is Chancellor of the University of London, one of the
Patrons of the Society for the Abolition of the Established Church
of England, and Editor of the Edinburgh Review. His palatial
town-house—built by Sir Godfrey Kneller—is in Cecil Street,
Strand, and in his stately park at Burleigh—close under the
shadow of Salisbury Cathedral—is to be found the only herd of wild
buffaloes now remaining in this country.

Mr. Bright is the son of a Leicestershire clergyman, who was
also the Squire of the parish, and a noted foxhunter. After passing

through Eton, where he was Captain of the "Eleven," Mr. Bright
obtained'a Commission (through family interest) in a Cavalry Regi-
ment, and distinguished himself in the Chinese War. He sold out
of the Army at the Peace, and turned his attention to agricultural
pursuits, becoming an ardent sportsman^ a strict game-preserver,
and a fearless Chairman of Quarter Sessions. He still retains his
hereditary love of the chase, and is one of the Stewards of the
Jockey Club. Mr. Bright is Chairman of the Eldon Club, and
patron of ten livings. He married a daughter of the Archbishop of
Bombay ; and his landed estates are strictly entailed.

OUR REPRESENTATIVE MAN.

Excuse for staying—A little Dinner with some choice spirits, and
some account of how the evening was finished.

My very dear Sir,

I have not yet returned to ray flat in the Rue Neuve de
double gras aux petits pois, having received a very kind and charac-
teristic letter from the Marshal to say "wait a week or so," and
finishing epigrammatieally with " J'y suis, ou,Je voussuis." There-
fore before taking my walks abroad, I am doing a few of our home
amusements.

The other evening I was dining with a few choice spirits at
the Chopsteak Tavern, with H. E. H. E. (of Westminster), in the
Chair, faced by Archie, C. T. (of Canterbury), and supported by
some first-rate members of the Fancy, as, entre nous, we call the
Revisionary, or Yisionary, Committee ; and a pleasanter party never
stretched legs under a mahogany. It was real old times revived.
Well, after a song in praise of whiskey from the C-rd-n-1, who had
to leave early in order to speak at Exeter Hall, a Rural Dean who
was up for one day only, and had to be off to-morrow morning by
the first train, proposed an adjournment to some place of theatrical
entertainment. The Registrar of the Diocese suggested Zazel. But
this was at once negatived by a Canon of Westminster. Dr. Light-
foot was for the ballet at the Alhambra, but everyone had seen
it several times, and the same reason was given for not going to
Pink Dominos.

" If there were a good circus going on," observed His Grace (after
dinner) of Y-rk, " there's nothing I.should like to see more than the
delineation of Archbishop Turpin's ride to the Cathedral City of the
North."

Just at this minute, however, a secretary looked in, and whisper-
ing that unfortunately Yore was wanted, the excellent Archbishop
finished his tumbler and retired.

"Let's have a paper and see what's going on," I suggested.
Carried nem. con. "Nine hundredth night of Our Boys?" No,
even the Rural Dean had seen this twice. "Russia, at the New
National Theatre (here Canon L-dd-n left the room with Maxcolm
M'C-ll), but as Russia was advertised for seven o'clock (an hour
that will effectually prevent the stalls from ever seeing the First
Act, which appears, " from information received," to be the best),
this was out of the question for us. Russia was also advertised for
eight. Which was correct we didn't know, and so we would not
support the Czar. It was now just nine-thirty (a number which
apparently exercised a mysterious power over some present), and
any idea of amusement had been generally abandoned, when sud-
denly the new B-sh-p of Sodor and Ma^, who had been studying
a newspaper, exclaimed,—

" Bedad ! if ye will go to a place of amusement, and won't stop
here for a quiet game of Loo, eighteenpenny and four-and-six-
penny "—all declined—" then that's what I'd like ye to see, boys! "
And he flourished the front page of the D. T.

" What ? " we all asked in a breath.

"Erin! a ballet at the Metropolitan Music Hall! Whoop!
Ould Ireland for ivver ! "

"At the Metropolitan!" said the Pr-m-te, brightening up.
" That sounds well; though I should have preferred the Canterbury
for choice."

Hansoms were called, and away we went to the Edgeware Road.

What Erin (the ballet in question) was all about, it would be
impossible to say; but there was "the Genius of Old Ireland'
represented by a lady who, like most true geniuses, was modest and
retiring, and kept perpetually (with the harp that once did, but
doesn't now) in the background. There.were some beautiful dancing
Irish lasses and Irish lads with shillelaghs, an undramatic gentle-
man who would have sung Irish ballads charmingly but for a cold, for
which he apologised with pantomimic action expressive of coughing,
finally putting his hand, in an exhausted manner, to his chest, as
much as to say, "Excuse my mustard-plaster I nothing but a
mustard-plaster will draw any notes out of me to-night f but I '11
do my best," and he did, too, being much applauded for his efforts.
And then there was a very dramatic young lady with a powerful
voice, who gave us three Irish melodies, including " The Minstrel
Boy,1' with stirring effect. I couldn't catch the words, and had
forgotten " The Minstrel Boy,v but I fancy, if her dramatic action
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Punch, 73.1877, November 10, 1877, S. 208

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