Punch (73.1877)

300

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON

CHARIVARI.

[December 29, 1877.

ALL ON THE VERY BEST AUTHORITY.

iilllilffi) x^^^X zifiM UE little birds were

never busier, but
tbe difficulty is to
reconcile their
chirpings. Here
are specimens of
the sort of things
they bring us, and
"all on the best
authority," of
course :—

Inquiries have
been directed to
the Horse Guards,
in the Ordnance
Branch and Store
Department of the
War Office, and the
Transport Branch
of the Admiralty,

within what time an expeditionary force of twenty-five thousand men could be
fed, mustered, equipped, and embarked for the Mediterranean.

They have received no orders, and had no special inquiries, either at the War
Office or the Admiralty. _

The Fleet has been ordered to enter the Dardanelles.

The Fleet is to remain at its old anchorage-ground in Besika Bay.

An expeditionary force will sail for Gallipoli before Parliament meets.

The Mediterranean garrisons can't spare a man. It would take us, at least,
three months to equip and set twenty thousand men in line of battle within
striking distance of the Russians.

The Oueen told Theodore Martin, when he dined at Windsor the other
day, that she considered the behaviour of the Russians quite as bad now as
before the Crimean war, and that she didn't see why this country should put up
with it any longer. _

Her Majesty told Lord Beaconsfield at Hughenden, the other day, that she
considered the immediate summoning of Parliament the best guarantee for the
preservation of European peace, and that she was confident it would not be
disturbed. -

The Cabinet is hopelessly divided. Beaconsfield is nobody—has quite lost
his nerve. The Marquis of Salisbury all but snapped his fingers in his face at
the last Cabinet Council, and he did not seem even to resent it.

Beaconsfield is master of the situation. Absolutely leads Deeey by the
nose. Salisbury is nowhere. He and Carnarvon' have been completely
snuffed out. Stafford Northcote is fiaccidity personified, and Cross daren't
call his soul his own. _

They are going to ask Parliament for six millions. They have offered
Russia an ultimatum. ,_

You mark my words, the sensible party in the Ministry only want a Parlia-
mentary buffer between them and the Impracticables, in and out of the Cabinet.
Bless you—they don't mean to do anything.

Europe will be in a blaze in two months.

The three Emperors will settle everything off their own bats. We shall
bluster a bit, but it will all end in ink.

We mean to take over the Turkish Fleet from the Sultan, nominally as a
guarantee for the bondholders—of course, to keep it out of the hands of the
Russians. _

We have told Gortschakofe we shall consider his insistance on the passage
of the Dardanelles for Russian war-ships a casus belli.

Ministers are quite ready to discuss the terms on which ships of war may
pass the Straits—on the principle of " One down, another come on."

It has been decided that we are to defend the lines of Chekmedje. We have
had ten Engineer Officers planning the works there these eight months, and
laying out the camping ground. All the commissariat contracts are made.

The Cabinet have kept us quite clear of the mess so far, and depend upon it
they '11 bring us through it without war.

The Government means to put its foot down, and is satisfied it has the
country at its back.

The Government has not the most distant idea of fighting. They admit

they've a divided country behind them; and Lord
Deuby said to a friend of mine only the other day, that
he had never known a war but the first thing that went
was the Ministry. That don't look much like meaning
business. _

And so on, da capo—Russophobe and Turkophile, Black
and White, Peace and War, Right and Left, Ding Dong,
Hammer and Tongs—right in each other's teeth—but
All alike on the Best Authority !

REGENERATE RUSSIA.

The ex-Premier has added another to the series of
letters which have recently won him such special cele-
brity.

"Did you really, illustrious William, in the year
1S54, deliver the subjoined sentences touching the
Crimean War, on your legs in the House of Commons ?
Because if you did, they seem rather to falsify your pre-
sent position:—"

" I apprehend that what we think to secure hy the war is not
the settlement of any question regarding ihe internal govern-
ment of Turkey, as this will be a work for many years, but there
is the danger of the absorption of the Turks by Ruesia, which
will bring us greater evils than those which already exist. This
we are called upon to resist by all means in our power."

To the question substantially proposed as above by a
" Sheffield Liberal" our William thus replied :—

" Sm,—I do not doubt I said, and it was quite true if I did,
that the immediate object of ihe war in 1854 was to repel the
nggrcssion of Russia upon Turkey. Russia made a demand at
that time which did not concern the redress of the Christian
grievances, but in the opinion of all Europe attacked Turkey in
violation of public law. The war aimed at repressing that
violation of law, but with it were combined measures which were
then believed to be realities, and to provide for tbe redress of
grievances.—Your faithful Servant, W. E. Gladstone."

Thus completely sweet William, that flower of States-
men, shuts up the questioner of his consistency with his
old self, and his former speeches. No doubt in 1854 Bri-
tannia went to war with the object of repressing Russia's
violation of public law, though not altogether irrespect-
ively of British interests and of the circumstance that
she then had France for an ally. Now she means to wait
till she is sure British interests are in danger. Who can
say that they will be ? In 1851 Czar Nicholas did not
profess to have any other object in attacking Turkey than
territorial conquest. Czar Alexander in 1877 has pro-
fessed as his object the enforcing of good government for
the Sultan's Christian subjects, and disclaimed any other.
There may be those who hope shortly to see the Porte con-
cede this demand, and there an end ; peace restored early
in the New Year—perhaps before Parliament meets on
the 17th of January—who knows ?

In that happy event, the business for the despatch of
which Parliament is summoned to meet on that early day
may be whittled down to a talk about the terms on which
peace has been made. This will be an eminently Parlia-
mentary occupation. At any rate, no debate whatsoever
can arise on any Russian stipulation for " material gua-
rantees" involving territorial acquisition, or on any
demand for an exclusive right of passage through the
Straits for Russian ships of war. _ It will by that time
have been proved to the satisfaction, if to the_ confuta-
tion, of Turcophile alarmists, that the Christian cause
was not a mere pretext for the present war, and that
although in 1854 Russia warred for mere spoliation, in
1877 she did battle from an exalted sentiment of
Christian sympathy. It may be so. Nicholas was one
Czar, Alexander another. May the moderation of Rus-
sian proposals very speedily demonstrate such a differ-
ence between the two Czars, and their respective Russias
and policies, as will triumphantly attest the discernment,
as well as the consistency of our most excellent William.

Permutations and Combinations;

Or, Fourtou v. Dufaure.

MACMAnoN, in his reckoning on a coup,
Employed, in combination, one four two;
But finding France that figure would ignore,
He tried, in permutation, one two four.