Punch: Punch (76.1879)

January 18, 1879.]

15

THE PEACOCK TRAIN.

" You just pull a String, and there you are ! ''

THE RAILWAY PASSENGER'S CATECHISM.

{Prepared for use of the Public by the Executive Committee of the United

Railway Companies.)

Q. Define a "Railway Traveller."

A. A greatly-favoured person, enabled by tbe help of the Railway
Companies to move from place to place with the least possible comfort
at the highest possible charge.

Q. Give your reasons for holding that the Railway Traveller is
greatly favoured in being carried from place to .place on these
conditions.

A. Because this is the opinion of the Railway officials; and the
Railway officials are the best judges of such matters.

Q. Do you think it would be better were trains to keep adver-
tised times, ticket-clerks to be more civil, and guards and porters to
look less after tips, and more after their duties r

A. Certainly not.

Q. Give your reason for this opinion ?

A. Because any reform in Railway management with these ob-
jects must cause a great deal of wholly unnecessary trouble.
Q. What is an accident ?

A. Something that cannot, as a rule, be avoided.
Q. How do you divide accidents ?
A. Into important and unimportant.
Q. What is an unimportant accident ?

A. One which causes damage or death to a few employ is and third-
class passengers.

Q. What is an important accident ?

A. One which leads to such large demands for compensation that
they affect dividends and lower the price of shares.

Q. Who ought generally to be blamed for accidents ?

A. The parties who suffer by them. More particularly, when any
servant of the Company is killed, the blame should always be laid on
his shoulders. This does him no harm, and averts unpleasant
consequences from others.

Q. Whose fault is it when Railway Companies suddenly raise
their tariff ?
A. The Government's.
Q. Why ?

A. Because they have for many years been overtaxing the Railways.
Q. Would this be a valid plea in the case of a tradesman who
should suddenly raise the prices of his goods P
A. Certainly not. Railway Companies are not tradesmen.
Q. How do they differ from tradesmen ?

A. They are public servants—the holders of special powers and
privileges secured by Act of Parliament.

Q. On what consideration were these powers and privileges
granted ?

A. On that of ministering to the public convenience.
Q. What has become of this condition ?

A. It having been found that the public convenience is really
identical with that of the Companies, the former consideration, as a
separate matter, has been very generally lost sight of.

Q. Have the public any right to complain ?

A. Certainly not. Their interests and those of the'Companies are
in the long run identical.

Q. Can you give any other reason why complaints should not be
made of what are called shortcomings in Railway management ?

A. Complaints^ cannot be necessary, as there is no wrong in this
country without its legal remedy.

Q. How is this remedy to be pursued ?

A. By fighting a wealthy corporation, single-handed, through all
the Law Courts up to the House of Lords.

Q. Would not this often entail ruin upon the assailant of the
Company ?

A. Yery often.

Q. Then what do you infer to be the wisest course for those who
have to complain of anything in connection with railway manage-
ment ?

A. To grin—and bear it!