Punch (76.1879)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

145

'ARRY ON THE 'IGHER EDUCATION OF WOMEN.

Dear Charlie,

I'm down in the doldrums ;
bin landed, my boy, and no kid.
Never thought to be bowled out so clean

by a petticoat, blowed if I did.
Me as done the Don Juan permiskus, a

Ladies' Man down to the ground,
Who could boast of as many bun four
tunes as any big Swell knocking
round !

You remember my mentioning Loo, 'er

as fadded on pictures and that ?
Well, I wasn't much took with the
Lady at fust, thought her rayther
a flat;

But, yer see, toddlin' round with a gal
always leads to the old sort o'
lunes,

And, by time she was ready for home,
I began to feel precious like
spoons.

Thinks I—"She has bees in 'er bon-
net, of that there is not the least
doubt,

But when she is once fairly spliced, all
that nonsense can soon be knocked
out.

She is pooty, hor gaffer's gottin—mine's dead nuts on the notion. Here goes ! "
Yus, that's jest 'ow / argued the matter, and that's 'ow I came to perpose.

I felt certain she'd jump at me, Charlie—pops only come once in a while—
But she opens her optics, and skews her pink lips in a rum sort of smile.
" Why, 'ARRr," she sez, " / shan't suit you ; a barmaid is more in your way ;
I haven't a taste you can share, and can't understand half what you say."

I thought she was larking, in course, and so tipping my knowingest wink,
Tried a kiss—but it didn't come off; s'help me, Charlie, the gal seemed to shrink,
Jest as if I was sj^^-1 ' ' ' the fair,

With my handker = .ade on my 'air !

Yus, she give mo E from my dad—

I was not educate =—^- d ;

And—but there, 1 = let 'er go 'ang !

Hadn't neither e$— ^//Av^^ scorn and low

slang,

Redikulus, my be —

— o

As for gals, too rr — a>

'ack paces, = CC

And then put the=_ —

And so, if we meiE O
They '11 round on =-S?

I see it a comin', E_ <—

Teach the women — ^ §

Education has spi E— Q -

Gets too fine for t= * s. ¥

o

/don't want a win
But one as can hi ^—-
A gal as 'ull larf = ^>
It shan't be a Lo<—

= w i. I

5

o

. , . . .=- O

reciprocating nata — —
tion involved in it E-^1 Q

o larf;
>y arf.
o the wall;

ience and Art ?
art.

f-book well,
the Swell.

ere moke Park-
traces,
l '11 see

Loo did on me.
ach,

Lfle too much,
wives

of our lives,
ao fear!

'Arry.

n by Sir Louis
rse in confuta-
of the writer's
and Sir Lours
n.

pugilism ; but
and the Protec-
of self-defence.

OUR EE PRE SENT ATI YE MAN.

To draw the attention of the Theatre-going Public to
what is going to happen at the Haymarket Theatre
on the afternoon of April 9th.

I've not got anything to say about theatres this week,
except to recommend the performance of The Hunch-
back at the Adelphi, where, on Saturdays, Tuesdays,
and Thursdays, when Mr. Henby Neville plays Master
Walter, Mr. Yezin plays Sir Thomas Clifford, and on
Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, when Mr. Neville
plays Sir Thomas Clifford, Mr. Yezin plays Master
Walter. Like Box and Cox, Mr. Yezin (Box) is always
going up stairs when Mr. Neville (Cox) is coming
down, or coming down when Mr. Neville (Cox) is going
up. It is a pity that this variety has not been extended
to the remainder of the cast, Mr. Flockton playing
Modus when Mr. Harcourt played Lord Tinsel, and
Miss Ltdia Foote exchanging her Helen for Miss Neil-
son's Julia, three days a week.

Sheridan Knowles's stucco-Shakespearian play is
thoroughly popular, not on account of its theatrical
"scenes and characters," or its imitation poetry, which
never has the ring of the true metal, but by reason of its
natural comedy touches in the scenes between Modus
and Helen. Both parts require very delicate handling,
or the scenes become coarse: but,—how the Adelphi
audience, crammed to the ceiling, roared again at these
scenes,—how the pit writhed and the gallery laughed.
" Gods ! how they laughed ! " And there is more life in
the old Hunchback yet than there is in many a better play.

But my special object in writing at all this week is to
ask every one who has ever taken any pleasure in the
Drury Lane "Annuals" to assist at a special morning
performance to be given at the Haymarket, Wednesday,
April 9th—notice the date—by way of testimonial to
Mr. E. L. Blanchard, who, besides furnishing Drury
Lane with a pantomime for the last—well, I am afraid
to say how many years—has been writing about plays,
play-writers, and play-actors for nearly half a century,
and who, as a critic—

" Compelled by love of Art to damn a play,
Has ever damned it in the kindest way."

He has always detested the sin, but loved the sinner »
and while, most undeservedly, suffering pecuniary loss,
he has rather chosen to argue hopefully from the certain-
ties of the past to the probabilities of the future, than
to dwell on the want of common consideration which he
has met with where he should have received substantial
expressions of gratitude.

Mr. J. S. Clarke gives the Haymarket Theatre for the
occasion. Lord Lytton's Money will be the play, with
a very strong cast, and in the Club scene the Club mem-
bers will be represented by literary and dramatic cele-
brities. Mr. Santley and Miss Poole are to sing, and
Miss Neilson is to recite.

Ah, Mr. Blanchard, will not "a meeting like this
make amends"? I hope so. The good old fashion of
" Author's Nights " is exploded—three of them brought
Goldsmith £500 for She Stoops to Conquer, and £400 for
The Good-natured Man—a custom, to my mind, not more
honoured in the breach than in the observance, but one
which might advantageously (for the Authors) be revived.
Let this at the Haymarket be the thin end of the wedge.
Instead of "Author's Nights" let us have "Author's
Mornings" or "Author's Afternoons"; and then, in-
stead of its being, as some might have thought, '' a
custom more honoured in the breach than in the ob-
servance," it would be "his (the Author's) custom
always of an afternoon"—and so, with thanks to th
Divine Williams for both quotations, I am, Sir,

Your Bepeesentative.

an extra-parliamentary obstructionist.

A certain Mr. Arculus, Conservative, summoned the
Mayor of Birmingham for having had him turned out of
the Town Hall because he persisted in interrupting a
Liberal meeting there. What is Mr. Arculus ? Judg-
ing by his name, a little bow with a Conservative bent.

Costumed eor the Cold Weather.—John Bull with
his Cape on his back!