Punch: Punch (76.1879)

February 22, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON

CHARIVARI.

73

NEVER SPEAK IN A HURRY.

The Hospitable Jones. "Yes, we're in the same old place, where you
Dined with us last Year. By the bye, old Man, i wish you and your
"Wife would come and take Pot-luck with us again on the-"

The Impulsive Brown (in the eagerness of his determination never again to take
Pot-luck with the Joneses). "My dear Fellow! So sorry! But we're en-
gaged on the—a—on the—er—on th-th-that evening ! "

Poor Jones (pathetically). "Well, old Man, you might have given me

time just to name the day."

THE BEST POSSIBLE INSTRUCTOR OP THE PERIOD.

Home and Foreign Intelligence.
(By Electric Telegraph and Special Despatch.)

Several meetings of much importance to the Army, the Navy, and the Legal,
the Medical and Commercial classes, were held yesterday, but we regret that the
great demand upon our space prevents us from giving any report of these very
interesting proceedings.

We hear of further strikes in various parts of the country. The crowded
condition of our columns renders the publication of details at present impossible.

We are forced to reduce our Parliamentary Intelligence to-day to a quarter of
a column.

Very interesting news reaches us from America, Australia, Africa, and Asia.
We are compelled by pressure of matter to defer its publication to a future
occasion.

Our Law Reports, Money Market, and University Intelligence are unavoid-
ably crowded out.

Charles Hope.
(From Our Special Commissioner.)
It is scarcely necessary to say that the proceedings of this extraordinary
burglar are still attracting universal attention. All classes of the community

are equally eager to learn the latest news about his
movements. The Governor of the gaol in which he is in-
carcerated spends the whole of his time in answering in-
quiries, and the business of the prison has come to a
standstill. The warders are visited daily by scores of
members of the Press, and all "fixtures" for floggings,
&c, have had to be postponed. There is no one to attend
to the machinery of the treadmill, so for the present the
prisoners have had to forego their customary exercise.
Oakum-picking-, too, is all but suspended.

Yesterday Hope breakfasted at half-past nine. He
complained of the weakness of the tea, and asked for
another egg. After an extra spoonful had been put in
the pot he became quite cheerful, and joked with the
attendant warders. He made several very amusing puns
upon his own name and that of the new President of
the French Republic.

At eleven o'clock Hope received a visit from the
Governor, with the information that the Authorities had
refused the application of his third Cousin once re-
moved for admission to an interview with him. The
applicant is considered by the Authorities to have been
led to ask for the interview rather by a morbid curiosity
than any other and higher motive.

At twelve Hope was visited by the Doctor, who, we
are glad to say, is much pleased with his patient's im-
provement in weight, stamina, and spirits, under the
soothing influences of regular hours and a carefully-
arranged dietary. Hope remained in conversation with
his Medical Adviser for more than an hour, and seemed
to be deeply interested in the progress of the Russian
Plague. He expressed much satisfaction on learning
that there was little chance of the terrible disease reach-
ing England. It appears that the spread of the Plague,
and the probability of its visiting our shores, had caused
him considerable alarm.

In the course of the afternoon the Prisoner continued
his autobiography, one of the Warders acting as his
Amanuensis. He also sent the following letter to his
wife:—

Her Majesty's Gaol.

My Dear Wife and Children,

I don't know where you are ; but this leaves me
well hoping you are the same. Please repent, and do
your best to get me off. It is perjury to say I killed six
people. I only killed five. I am writing a book of private
devotions, which please send to the newspapers for publi-
cation, your affectionate Father and Friend,

Charles Hope + his mark.

The Warder declares that this was the sense, if not
exactly the words, of the letter dictated by him, without
the slightest hesitation. The communication will be
read by all who have watched the career of this wonder-
ful man with the greatest interest. The Governor of the
Gaol believes that the devotional work to which Hope
alludes will be finished by Thursday.

At Two the Chaplain sent in his card, but the Prisoner
declined to see him, on the score that he was much fatigued
and. wished to take a nap. On learning this the Reve-
rend Gentleman apologised and retired.

(The remainder of this interesting article will be found
on pages 5, 6, 7, and 8. Further particulars will be
published in our later editions.)

How ever He has Stood It so Long !

Sir Henry Layard is coming home with his nerves
shattered, and his patience prostrated. What wonder!
Even the Nineveh Bull was no match for the impossible,
impassible, imperturbable, and impecunious Turk.
"Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi, sed ssepe cadendo."

the banking reform needed.

To substitute the (comparatively) limited lie-ability
of Shareholders, for the positively unlimited he-ability
of Directors. (Vide Glasgow Bank revelations.)

the real king of connaught.

If Lord B. wants to make Ireland as loyal and as
pleasant to Royalty as Scotland, let him shift " Arthur's
Seat" to Dublin.

vol. lxxvi. h