Punch (76.1879)

March 22, 1879.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

121

'GOOD INTENTIONS."

Scot {on Waterloo Bridge). " Hech ! To think I save a Bawbee evert
Time I cross this bonny Brig ! I'll just pit it in the Plate the next
Time I gang t' the Kirk ! "

LIGHTS TEAT REALLY ENLIGHTEN.

Among the most needed and newest lights of the time
are the lamps in the Cromwell Road and Queen's Gar-
dens district. They not only throw a light on the streets,
but on their names, which are, at last, legibly painted
on one side of the lamps at recurring intervals.
When one remembers the chaos this region used to be,
after dark, to hapless diners-out and their drivers, the
comfurt of steering by the present luminous chain of
directions on the lamps is not to be described.

As Punch has been preaching up this simple provision
for the public convenience for months past, he can only
express tbe hope that now that one local authority has led
the way in this small and uncostly but very real improve-
ment—whether persuaded by Punch's preaching, or not,
matters little—other local authorities will go and do like-
wise.

Only one more improvement is wanted even in the
enlightened Cromwell Road.Tegion—that the numbers of
the houses should be painted, at intervals of ten, on the
same lamps which now bear the names of the streets.

ARMS FOR THE ENEMY.

Some indignation has perhaps been somewhat unduly
created by statements which appeared in a daily paper,
stating that a firm in Whitechapel, and another at Man-
chester, are manufacturing arms for shipment to the
Zulus. But the aid thus afforded to a savage enemy may
be not by any means so bad as it seems. Dealers can
have no interest in sending Getewayo and his soldiers
any better firearms than the worst manufactured for ex-
portation at Birmingham. The worse, the cheaper, there-
fore the more profitable for the vendors. Parties engaged
in selling the Zulus rifles so bad as to be sure to burst
in their hands, also sell the Zulus, and are driving a
trade which is the reverse of unpatriotic, however un-
scrupulous. Punch therefore hesitates to say that the
fellows ought to be hanged.

no eoyal eoad to happiness?

Isn't there ? What do you say to the road from
Windsor Castle to Claremont F

PUNCH'S GREETING TO THE YOUNG COUPLE.

ARTHUR PATRICK, DUKE OF COKNAUGHT,

and

PRINCESS LOUISE MARGUERITE,
Married, Thursday, March 13.

O'er your heads Punch don't want any gush to be shedding,
But he smiled on your wooing, and blesses your wedding,
For the Bridegroom is one of the right sort, he hears,
And he sees that the Bride is a duck among dears.

So though the old boy cannot gush, he feels glad,
As he throws his old shoe after bright lass and lad,
And sends you his present—of value untold,
Beyond Royalty's diamonds, or Courtier's gold—

And that is the earnest good word and good will

Of a heart that it takes who knows how much to fill.

For Beitannia smiles under guard of his hunch,

And when Punch bids " God bless you ! " says " Ditto to Punch."

That the Bridegroom bears names of good omen 'tis clear :—
Brave Aethue's of England, that Preux without peer,
And with it the Saint's who the Green Isle set free,
Sweeping all that was venomous into the sea.

As gallant as Aethue, with sword, upon steed,

As pure as St. Patrick in word and in deed,

May his gentle young bride and his country still find

Him who this day for Manhood leaves light Youth behind.

May the Mother, whose sorrow seeks set-off of joy
In the wedlock of each loving girl and brave boy,
Among all her good casts—she has ne'er made a miss—
Find none with a future more cloudless than this!

SOMETHING LIKE A LOAN.

Amongst the many schemes for the financial regeneration of
Turkey the foUowing (which Mr. Punch has reasons for believing is
the only one that will be supported by the Sublime Porte) has as yet
been withheld from the public. Now the De Tocqueville Scheme
has been set aside as impracticable it may have a chance.

1. Turkey, England, Russia, France, Italy, Austria, and the
German Empire, to enter into a thorough mutual good understanding.

2. Turkey f° giye the most ample guarantees to all the Powers for
her performance of her part of the accompanying conditions.

3. The unfunded debt of the Porte to be paid in full, in ready
money.

4. All arrears of interest on the Turkish Funded Debt to be made
good, with a 10 per cent, bonus, to compensate for the annoyance to
which the Fundholders have for years been subjected.

5. The Russian Indemnity to be immediately discharged.

6. The personnel of the Turkish MilitaryNaval, and Civil Ser-
vices to receive two years' pay in advance, with arrears and interest
on arrears.

7. School Boards, the Permissive Bill, the Volunteer Movement,
Trial by Jury, and all the recent improvements in the French Civil
Service and English Parliamentary Organisation to be forthwith
introduced.

8. The Revenue to be reorganised, regularly paid up, and remitted
without deduction to Constantinople.

9. Backshish to be abolished in all public offices—Metropolitan
and Provincial.

And lastly (10). France and England to advance on the security of
Turkish promises to pay, and the prospects of Reform under the
Anglo-Turkish Convention, a liberal margin on the amount required
for carrying out these financial arrangements, so that the Sultan
may have a little to go on with.

Remain Unimpeached.—The Ministry of the 16th of May, and
the good sense of the Republic of the 5th of January.

vol. lxxvi. m