Punch: Punch (76.1879)

Mat 31, 1879.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

241

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

N the Lords {Mon-
day, May 19),
Viscount Cran-
bbook informed
a theirj^Lordships
that he .tli had

received intelligence that the bases of peace with the Ameeb had
been agreed upon. Cheers—and no wonder. 0 si sic omnia .'

Lord Steatheden and Campbell was delivered of a ponderously
painful argument that, under the 22nd Article of the Berlin Treaty,
the Russians had stolen three months' march on England and Europe.
He asked for correspondence.

Quoth Lord Salisbury—

" Occupation ain't evacuation ;
The Turnish roads are bad ;
Lord Stratheden & C. he bothers me,
And his prosing drives me mad."

As to correspondence—there was none. " Oic il n'y a rien,']Zord S.
et C. perd ses droits."

Lord Granville thought Her Majesty's Government had done
well to give Russia " a long day," though he read the 22nd Article
like Lord Campbell. (As did Punch, and ninetv-nine out of every
hundred who read it at all. But Treaties may be loose, and yet tight
enough to secure " Peace with Honour.")

Lord Teueo very much to the point on " Our Boys "—not Byeon's
play, but the British Army. Of the " force " sent to South Africa,
one-third was under age, and not one non-commissioned officer over
four-and-twenty. To make up even this " force," we had had to
dram regiments at home, till some were bled down to 200 rank and
file, and one of our most important forts was left with half-a-dozen
men at their posts—like the House of Commons on an Indian Budget
night. He wanted investigation, and more power to call Reserve
men to the colours.

Lord Bury deprecated exaggeration, and promised inquiry. We
had a Reserve of 58,000 men, all counted, but they could not be

called out, the Law Officers advised, till a great national emergency
was proclaimed by Parliament, or, in the absence of Parliament, by
Order in Council. Then our linked battalions had given way at the
first pull, and we found ourselves without files at home to fill up
ranks abroad, and had to patch the holes with Volunteers "of
sorts."

H.R.H. the Duke of Cambbidge spoke in his usual candid but
rather helpless fashion. We ought to have as many regiments
abroad as at home, but we haven't—not by 15. Short service means
bad seasoning. (As large interest means bad security.) We ought
to have power to draw on the Reserves when we want 'em, but we
haven't. We, at the Office, don't like patchwork, but we can't help
ourselves. If you want a better Army, yourmust pay for it. But
you don't like that. No more do we. We do our best. If bad's the
best, what can anybody do better ?

Lords Lansdowne, Cbanbeook, and Caedwell spoke sensibly;
admitting that things weren't as they should be, but that they weren't
quite as bad as they seemed. The new system had not had a fair
trial, so must not be condemned off-hand. Short Service meant
young soldiers ; but better young hands with the colours and old
hands in the Reserves, if only we had the power to get the Reserves
back to the ranks at a pinch.

"J. B. wants little force to show,
But wants that little strong."

The Lords' talk to-night was much to the purpose.

Everybody seems agreed in what direction amendment is to be
tried, so let us hope improvement will come of trying.

{Commons.)—Mr. Macabtney complained of the pelting of Pro-
testant Mission-teachers by Roman Catholic mobs at Clifden.

Messrs. Mitchell-Henry, Callan, Sullivan, O'Donnell, and
Major Nolan complained of Irish Protestant Missioners insulting
Roman Catholic beliefs, and fishing for Roman Catholic children
with old clothes and soup-tickets.

Mr. J. Lowthee said Government couldn't prevent proselytising
by alms—spelt with an " L." But that did not warrant persecution

vol. lxxvi,

y