Punch: Punch (76.1879)

276

PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 14, 1879.

alone, and sleepy to all the world ? I do not know. But of this
I am sure, that I am, as ever,

Your Representative.

P.S.—On Feeling Sleepy. Permit me one word more before I close
my letter and my eyes. Here is a book before me called Sweet Sleep.
An author who adopts this title boldly disarms criticism—unless the
work keep>s the reader awake. I remember a collection of stories,
entitled Avant cle Souffler la Bougie. 1 rather fancy they were all
ghost stories, so that yon didn't like to souffler your bougie nntil
you were quite certain there wasn't a bougie—I should say a bogie—
in the room. The only fault I can find with M. Dunphle's Sweet
Sleep is, that, when you have read one Essay, you will probably want
to look at the next, and most certainly you will if you commence
with the melancholy story (it is a ghost story) of the celebrated
unfortunate Miss Bailey, done into Latin in a style that would have
delighted old Father Prout. George Colman the Younger had no
more regard even to burlesque rhyme, than had Butler in his
Hudibras, when he wrote—

" Dear Corpse," says he, "since you and I accounts must once for all close,
I've got a one-pound note in my regimental small-clothes."

That's not much for rhyme or metre, but Mr. Dunfhie has im-
proved on it, Latine, thus—

" Tunc Miles, ' Rationem nunc oportet tibi dari,
Est unum mihi solidum in zona militari.' "

That seems to me happy, and so also the refrain—

" 0 Balia, infortunata Balia !
Quam pudet me, quam tscdet me, 0 miserenda Balia ! "

The musical pieces in London are doing well, and Drink is well
advertised in the public-house windows.

SONS OF NEPTUNE AND MARS.

0

iN "Wednesday last
week a battalion of
the Royal Marines,
amidst hurrahs, em-
barked at Portsmouth
for Zululand. The per-
mission given the
Marines to join the
Army in the campaign
against Cetewayo, is
regarded as a recogni-
tion, though a tardy one,
of the value of the ser-
vices ever wont to be
rendered at need by that
gallant and effective,
but hitherto somewhat
snubbed and sat-upon,
force. It is, however,
only a partial tribute of
honour to whom honour
is due. The Marines to
whom this concession has
at length been made, are
limited to Artillery and
Light Infantry. They
include no Cavalry.
Why will Government
persist in ignoring the Horse Marines ?

The "Wisest and Best.

With a view to appease the discontent created in the Deccan
by money-lenders whose extortion has provoked dacoity, and made
the ryots riotous, a Bill is about to be introduced on the part
of Government, providing, it is said, for the revival of the old village
Punchayet. It is further stated that the Punchayet has been very
successfully introduced into Ceylon. Very likely. The Punchayet
is described as a council of elders which used to adjudicate upon
land, money-lending cases, and petty assaults. It is, in fact, a local
Collective Wisdom, or Wittenagemote of the very Wisest—as the
first syllable of the word implies.

something to stand on.

There has been considerable question as to the head-gear of the
Prince of Bulgaria. There can be none as to his foot-gear—
Balmorals !

THE BESSEMER SPURS.

The Improver of Steel Manufacture has won his spurs—the spurs
of Knighthood. He had earned them long ago by overcoming the
obstinacy of pig-iron, and showing how to convert it, cheaply and
quickly, into steel. Why did the British Government persistently
refuse Mr. (now Sir Henry) Bessemer permission to receive the Grand
Cross of the Legion of Honour, awarded to him, on condition that they
would let him wear it, by the late Emperor of the French ? Because
the British Government chose to play dog in the manger. It would
neither give a great inventor recognition itself nor suffer a foreign
Power to do so. Now that at length Her Majesty's advisers have
done Bessemer right, and dubbed him knight, perhaps they may be
ready to admit that there can be no earthly reason why either he or
any other of Her Majesty's deserving subjects should be denied the
liberty to bear about him at his button-hole, on his bosom, in his
hat, or elsewhere, any decoration conferred upon him by any
neighbouring and friendly " Fountain of Honour."

A CAPITAL COMPROMISE.

Aleko Pasha should, the Mussulman says,
Have, at far Phillipopolis, sported a fez ;
But Bulgaria's people declared he should not;
They'd have him appear in the Frank chimney-pot.

But he knew a trick better than this or than that,
So Aleko wore neither a fez nor a hat:
He appeared—for 'cute compromise showing a knack-
In a native and neutral Bulgarian calpak.

Aleko Pasha seems a sensible chap,
Who, whatever he wears, will not wear a fool's cap.
Withinside his calpak there's a head that contains,
As he '11 show, let us hope, a good cargo of brains.

HONOUR WHERE HONOUR IS DUE.

The Queen and St. Kathekine's Hospital.—Yesterday afternoon,
in the Board-room of the "Westminster Hospital, the first three St. Katherine's
Nurses were invested with the Koyal badge of the Order, which carries with
it an allowance of £50 per annum."

Honour to Her Majesty, who honours herself and her sex in thus
founding a "Nursing Order of St. Katherine." Can honours more
honourable to giver and receivers alike, flow from England's Foun-
tain of Honour P Surely not. And that this new Order should have
been inaugurated by the badging and endowing of these Sisters of
the particular Nursing Society founded by Lady Augusta Stanley,
in Westminster, and well within the sunshine of Royal favour, is
their good fortune, and no unfairness to others not less deserving, if
less within ken of the Qljeen. It is a case, not of a St. Katherine
pear, but of a St. Katherine trio, " the side that's next the sun," as
Suckling sings in his sweet lines On a Wedding.

Remunerative Employment for Young Ladies.

Talk of the difficulty of finding employment for educated women!
Read this, from a recent Number of the Daily Telegraph:—

NO SALARY.—WANTED, NURSERY GOVERNESS, from 25 to
30, and to superintend six children. Good needlework essential.
"Washing found.—Address, &c.

Of course, with nursery-maid at £18 a-year, parlour-maid at £20,
and cook at £30, there can't be much left for the nursery-governess,
but there is always the comfortable home and the washing.

a serious mishap.

We regret to hear that Short Service (by Car dwell, out of War
Office), who had been entered by his owner, J. Bull, Esq., for the
great European Military Flat Race, and heavily backed, has broken
down, and will have to be struck out of the race.

Qtjery erom Girton.—If Pre-adamite means "before Adam,"
does Primeval mean " before Eve ? "

The best place for the Overworked Curate (in Ms oivn
opinion).—By the See side.

The Cure eor Russian Nihilism.—Annihilation.

l<3 To Cobbbspohdbxis.— The Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no case can these b> returned unless accompanied by a

stamped and directed envelop*. Copies should be kept.