Punch: Punch (76.1879)

310

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[July 5, 1879.

LA COMEDIE FRANCAISE.

j

Jones (who understands French so well, although he does not speak it),
reading over List of Pieces to be played at the Gaiety :—" ' Le Gendre
de M. Poirier.' Why, what Gender should the Man be, I

should like to know ! "

"che sara sara!"

A rarely-endowed Societaire of the Comedie Francaise has been
supplementing her appearances before the British public at the
Gaiety Theatre by private entertainments in the houses of some of
" the leaders of fashion." The little piece in which this charming
actress plays has been written with a view to showing her proficiency
in other arts beside the histrionic.

Mr. Punch suggests that when her present piece de resistance is
worn out—which it must soon be at the present rate of Mlle. S. B.'s
run—something like the following (smartly translated into French)
might be substituted for it:—

" ALL IS YANITY."

Scene.—A Studio, with Busts and Groups in Marble, Clay, and
Plaster, with "all that is wanted for modelling and sculping" ;
Sketches, Pictures, with "all that is wanted for painting ; a
Captive Balloon, with " all that is wanted for flying" ; a Table,
with " all that is wanted for ivriting,"

Enter Dr. Feeder.
Dr. Feeder. So, this is the shrine of the goddess of the hour! It
is here that she turns critics' heads, bewitches statesmen, and leads
the leaders of party and of fashion captives of her bow—and smile !
{Bows to Audience.) Surely even that brightest and most erratic of
stars should have found her sphere at last} Ah, here she comes!

Enter Stella, dressed en Pierrot Galant in white satin, with a large
diamond star in her necktie.
Stella. Kind, good Doctor, I am delighted to see you! Be good
enough to observe my expression of delight. (Strikes attitude,
showing expression of delight to Audience.) If you had been five
minutes later, my anger would have known no bounds. You ask
what my anger is like when it knows no bounds ? (To Audience.)
Something like this. (Screams, sta?nps, and shows her anger out of
bounds.) And yet I could doat upon you, with all the clinging ten-

derness of a weak woman's loving heart I could say—(to Audience),
" Be kind enough to note the softness and sweetness of my voice,"—
(to Dr. Feeder, tenderly) — " I love you! Oh, how I love you! "

Dr. Feeder. And you show it by neglecting all my prescriptions,
and throwing my physic to the dogs, from the insane heights to
which your genius will insist on soaring!

Stella. This balloon is captive. It will not fly away with either
of us. It is my only resource for taking the air, in this gas and
smoke-laden atmosphere. (Gets into car attached to captive
balloon, and ascends to the ceiling. After waiting for the applause,
descends, and gets out.) Be not alarmed. I have ascended before,
and written a book about it. Shall I read you some of it ?

Dr. Feeder (hurriedly). By no means, rapturous delight as it
would be. Why waste time in reading, when all the other Muses
are waiting to welcome their sister ? You paint ?

Stella. Paint! See here ! (Seizes a ready-laid palette, a sheaf of
pencils, and mahlstick, and dashes off a tone-study of the greatest
lady present.) Now do you ask if I paint ?

Dr. Feeder. Charming! A new Angelica ! And this modelling
clay ? Is it possible that the Muse of Sculpture too owns a sister in
you ?

Stella. A sister—or a rival! (Quickly modelling a bust, a bas-
relief, or a medallion of the most conspicuous public character in the
Audience.) You recognise the likeness.

Dr. Feeder (after a long and careful inspection). Not at the first
glance. It is surely not Charles the First, nor Nelson—nor Lord
Beaconsfield ?

Stella (angrily). How stupid you are! It is a portrait of-

(Here names conspicuous personage.)

Dr. Feeder, lo the life—and (bowing to personage) from the
life! (Looking at tcatch.) And now I think it is time to go to
the theatre, where your comrades and an eager public are waiting
for you.

Stella. I shall not go.

Dr. Feeder. Not go ! That would be to fail in respect for the
public and your comrades.

Stella. Then I will fail! I am tired out. Think of the entertain-
ments I have given, the crowds I have received, and the excitement
I have gone through !

Dr. Feeder. Everywhere, except at the theatre.

Stella. As you say—except at the theatre. But I am a genius: I
cannot be bound by ordinary rules. I am worn out by my con-
stant exertions .... broken by the rush of emotions, impressions,
excitements—everywhere—

Dr. Feeder. Except at the theatre.

Stella (Snapping her fingers). That for the theatre! I am the
great Stella t What is the theatre to me ?

Dr. Feeder. But your comrades .... the British public ?

Stella. Let them wait. Nothing stimulates curiosity like expecta-
tion. (Addressing spectators.) If my kind friends here will but
approve, I may snap my fingers at my comrades, at the public, and
at everybody before and behind the Curtain. (To Doctor.) Ah! I
faint! Support me !

[Languishes and sinks on Dr. Feeder's shoulder in an appealing
attitude. Tableau.

HYPOTHESIS AGAINST HARYEY.

The delivery of the annual Harveyian Oration by Dr. Wiles,
F.R.S., at the College of Physicians on Thursday last week, may sug-
gest the observation that there is no original thinker going about
and impugning Harvey's discovery. It is a wonder that a genius of
the description of him who writes and lectures in confutation of
Galileo, does not likewise employ his eminent abilities in trying to
prove Harvey also a duffer. If the earth is flat, then of course it
doesn't revolve round the sun, and the alleged revolution of the
earth is all humbug; and if the revolution of the earth is humbug,
so also may be presumed to be the circulation of the_ blood. The
demonstration of its movelessness only needs facts which might be
easily cited, they being, in reality, by no means the stubborn things
they are reputed, to be ; but extremely pliable.

The text of Dr. Wilks's discourse was Harvey's advice to his
followers to " study and search out the secrets of Nature by way ot
experiment." We fear tthat our friends the Anti-Yivisectionists
will hardly be in favour 'of following the method of investigation
prescribed by Harvey.

Our Woolwich Infants.

(Dedicated to the " Cadet Company " of the B.M.A.)

The life of Young Woolwich was once Spartan hard,

And now it's grown freer and gayer;
But Punch will back claret that pampered a Chard

'Gainst black draught that "brought up" a Fitzmayeb.

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