DOI issue:
November 15, 1884
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0245
238
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 15. 18b4.
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.
Mrs. Mildmay. “Are you looking for a Seat, Sir Guy? Come and sit
HERE BETWEEN GEORGE AND Me ! ”
Sir Guy Brummcl (with playful humour). “No ; I "will not come between
Husband and Wife. Nobodv can say I ever made a Man jealous ! ”
Mrs. Mildmay (wishing to be pleasant). “ No, indeed—that I’m sure you
never did!” [.Moral.—Beware how you make insincere jokes about yourself, j
pcnrg Jfakutt.
BORN 1833. DIED NOY. 6, 1884.
Virtus in arduis .' Valour against odds
That must have daunted courage less complete.
A spectacle to gladden men and meet
The calm approval of the gazing gods.
So some large singer of the heroic days
Might well have summed that life the fatal shears
Too soon have severed. Many fruitful years,
More conquests yet, still wider meed of praise,
All hoped for him who had good will of all,-—
The brave, the justly-balanced, calmly strong
Friend of all truth and foe of every wrong,
Who now, whilst lingering Autumn’s last leaves fall
Falls death-touched suddenly far from the goal.
Too soon ! too soon! if the stern stroke of fate
Ever too early falls or falls too late.
At least the passing of this clear strong soul
In fullest strength and clearness wakes lament.
We could have better spared a hundred loud,
Incontinent, blaring flatterers of the crowd
Than him, whose self-respecting years were spent
In silent thought and sense-directed toil,
Ungagged by greed, unshackled and unswayed
By sordid impulse of the sophist's trade,
By lies unsnared, and unseduced by spoil.
No braver conquest o’er ill-fortune’s flout
Our age has seen than his who held straight od,
Though the great God-gift from his days was gone,
“ And Wisdom at one entrance quite shut out,”—
Held on with genial stoutness, seeing more
Than men with sight undarkened, but with mind
Through prejudice and Party bias blind.
As man of light and leading far before
The “foolish fires” of faction though they flare,
Betraying beacons, in the battle’s van.
_ Vale ! A valid and a valiant man !
Ampler horizons and serener air
Await the fighter of so good a fight,
Than favour Party’s low mist-haunted hollow.
Heart-deep regrets and honest plaudits follow
Him who has passed from darkness into light.
The Le Bas Prize at Cambridge.—Awarded to a
Scholar of Trinity. No chance for any student of Girton.
Competition for Le Bas Prize, not bas bleu.
MANCHESTER’S PLUCKY AUDITOR.
This bold Gentleman continues his amusing revelations, to the |
apparent delight of the ratepayers, and the disgust of the bumptious j
Corporation. We can only make room for one or two extracts. This
is the bill for a dinner, at the Queen’s Hotel, for the Members of the
Baths and Wash-houses Committee, at which it will be seen that j
they drank punch, sherry, hock, champagne, claret, port, gin,
whiskey, brandy, liqueurs, and mild ale :—-
“To Twenty-one dinners, caviare, turtle, &e., 15 s. each, £15 15s.;
sherry, 16s.; hock, 50s.; punch, 7s 6cl. ; champagne, 138s. 6d. ; claret, 50s.; j
port, 25s.; Mild Ale, Is. ; liqueur, 20s. ; coffee, 10s. 6d. ; cigars, 64s. 6d.; I
soda, 22s. 6d.; gin, 2s. 6d. ; whiskey, 15s.; brandy, 27s. 6A ; service, 21s. I
“ In addition to the above, the Committee had sent up to the Baths the
day before the opening, one dozen bottles of whiskey, 48s. ; one dozen gin,
36s ; half-a-dozen brandy, 84s. ; half-a-dozen port, 48s. ; half-a-dozen
sherry, 48s.; two dozen soda, 4s. 6d.; one dozen lemonade. 4-s. &d. ; one
dozen potass, 4s. Q>d. ; two boxes cigars, 22s. Qd. each; and half-a-dozen j
bottles of St. Julien, 36s. ; making a total of £52 2s. paid to the proprietors I
of the Queen’s Hotel.”
He adds that strenuous efforts have been made to find out the ■
Gentleman who called for Mild Ale, and, when got, consumed a
shilling’s-worth of it.
The Corporation have apparently quite an Aldermanic love of
champagne, for we find it stated that an official at the Town Hall,
on going recently to a corner of that building, saw no fewer than
forty dozen empty champagne bottles !
A charge for brandy for the Baths produces the following good
story. A Lady fainted at a Salvation Temple. A doctor who hap-
pened to be present, asked for some brandy, but the Captain replied,
that if they were to keep brandy in stock, and it became known, all
the people in the neighbourhood would come there, and faint. The
receipts of the Hackney Coach Department for seven months amounted
to £37 3s. 4d. when the Committee had a pic-nic which cost £36 8s. 3d.,
leaving a net available balance of 15s. Id. to meet wages, clothes,
and other expenses.
In the Town Hall, he says, there are many persons who have
literally nothing better to do than wait for five o’clock ; and if the
clock should be rather late in striking, they make a charge for teas.
The Corporation, he says, bought a horse last year, whereby hangs
a tale. They gave £50 Tor it, with the following warranty “ I
have examined the bay gelding. He has a cough upon him, a small
splint on the inside of the near fore leg, and a thickening of the
off fore coronet, otherwise sound, and four-year-old off.”
He then finds in the books—Attending a horse, Is. 6d. ; two
draughts, 4s. ; blistering throat and gland, 2s. 6d. : stimulating
sides, Is.; pot of liniment, 3s.; and eight cough and fever doses,
12s. The next invoice was—For the lay of one horse for twelve
weeks, at 5s. per week. He has no actual proof that this alluded to
the Rosinante in question, but evidently has but little doubt of it.
As a fitting conclusion, this audacious auditor has actually pre-
sented a testimonial to the Chairman of the Highways Department,
as a token of appreciation of the very exceptional case, that there is
nothing wrong in the expenditure of his department!
If there were many such auditors, audits would form a most
amusing portion of our comic literature.
The More-and-Morley Series.—The latest addition to the
Universal Library, published by Messrs. Routledge, is a volume of
Mediceval Tales. The Ballads of the Cid, the Story of Charlemagne
and Orlando, and the Gesta Bomanorutn (“ Roman Jokes,” evident
translation), are delightful. Better this than the bones of Rabelais,
daintily picked, and cleaned, and served up undevilled. A propos
of this capital series, “the cry is still they come,” and we hope also
that the cry is still “ they go ! ”
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[November 15. 18b4.
THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.
Mrs. Mildmay. “Are you looking for a Seat, Sir Guy? Come and sit
HERE BETWEEN GEORGE AND Me ! ”
Sir Guy Brummcl (with playful humour). “No ; I "will not come between
Husband and Wife. Nobodv can say I ever made a Man jealous ! ”
Mrs. Mildmay (wishing to be pleasant). “ No, indeed—that I’m sure you
never did!” [.Moral.—Beware how you make insincere jokes about yourself, j
pcnrg Jfakutt.
BORN 1833. DIED NOY. 6, 1884.
Virtus in arduis .' Valour against odds
That must have daunted courage less complete.
A spectacle to gladden men and meet
The calm approval of the gazing gods.
So some large singer of the heroic days
Might well have summed that life the fatal shears
Too soon have severed. Many fruitful years,
More conquests yet, still wider meed of praise,
All hoped for him who had good will of all,-—
The brave, the justly-balanced, calmly strong
Friend of all truth and foe of every wrong,
Who now, whilst lingering Autumn’s last leaves fall
Falls death-touched suddenly far from the goal.
Too soon ! too soon! if the stern stroke of fate
Ever too early falls or falls too late.
At least the passing of this clear strong soul
In fullest strength and clearness wakes lament.
We could have better spared a hundred loud,
Incontinent, blaring flatterers of the crowd
Than him, whose self-respecting years were spent
In silent thought and sense-directed toil,
Ungagged by greed, unshackled and unswayed
By sordid impulse of the sophist's trade,
By lies unsnared, and unseduced by spoil.
No braver conquest o’er ill-fortune’s flout
Our age has seen than his who held straight od,
Though the great God-gift from his days was gone,
“ And Wisdom at one entrance quite shut out,”—
Held on with genial stoutness, seeing more
Than men with sight undarkened, but with mind
Through prejudice and Party bias blind.
As man of light and leading far before
The “foolish fires” of faction though they flare,
Betraying beacons, in the battle’s van.
_ Vale ! A valid and a valiant man !
Ampler horizons and serener air
Await the fighter of so good a fight,
Than favour Party’s low mist-haunted hollow.
Heart-deep regrets and honest plaudits follow
Him who has passed from darkness into light.
The Le Bas Prize at Cambridge.—Awarded to a
Scholar of Trinity. No chance for any student of Girton.
Competition for Le Bas Prize, not bas bleu.
MANCHESTER’S PLUCKY AUDITOR.
This bold Gentleman continues his amusing revelations, to the |
apparent delight of the ratepayers, and the disgust of the bumptious j
Corporation. We can only make room for one or two extracts. This
is the bill for a dinner, at the Queen’s Hotel, for the Members of the
Baths and Wash-houses Committee, at which it will be seen that j
they drank punch, sherry, hock, champagne, claret, port, gin,
whiskey, brandy, liqueurs, and mild ale :—-
“To Twenty-one dinners, caviare, turtle, &e., 15 s. each, £15 15s.;
sherry, 16s.; hock, 50s.; punch, 7s 6cl. ; champagne, 138s. 6d. ; claret, 50s.; j
port, 25s.; Mild Ale, Is. ; liqueur, 20s. ; coffee, 10s. 6d. ; cigars, 64s. 6d.; I
soda, 22s. 6d.; gin, 2s. 6d. ; whiskey, 15s.; brandy, 27s. 6A ; service, 21s. I
“ In addition to the above, the Committee had sent up to the Baths the
day before the opening, one dozen bottles of whiskey, 48s. ; one dozen gin,
36s ; half-a-dozen brandy, 84s. ; half-a-dozen port, 48s. ; half-a-dozen
sherry, 48s.; two dozen soda, 4s. 6d.; one dozen lemonade. 4-s. &d. ; one
dozen potass, 4s. Q>d. ; two boxes cigars, 22s. Qd. each; and half-a-dozen j
bottles of St. Julien, 36s. ; making a total of £52 2s. paid to the proprietors I
of the Queen’s Hotel.”
He adds that strenuous efforts have been made to find out the ■
Gentleman who called for Mild Ale, and, when got, consumed a
shilling’s-worth of it.
The Corporation have apparently quite an Aldermanic love of
champagne, for we find it stated that an official at the Town Hall,
on going recently to a corner of that building, saw no fewer than
forty dozen empty champagne bottles !
A charge for brandy for the Baths produces the following good
story. A Lady fainted at a Salvation Temple. A doctor who hap-
pened to be present, asked for some brandy, but the Captain replied,
that if they were to keep brandy in stock, and it became known, all
the people in the neighbourhood would come there, and faint. The
receipts of the Hackney Coach Department for seven months amounted
to £37 3s. 4d. when the Committee had a pic-nic which cost £36 8s. 3d.,
leaving a net available balance of 15s. Id. to meet wages, clothes,
and other expenses.
In the Town Hall, he says, there are many persons who have
literally nothing better to do than wait for five o’clock ; and if the
clock should be rather late in striking, they make a charge for teas.
The Corporation, he says, bought a horse last year, whereby hangs
a tale. They gave £50 Tor it, with the following warranty “ I
have examined the bay gelding. He has a cough upon him, a small
splint on the inside of the near fore leg, and a thickening of the
off fore coronet, otherwise sound, and four-year-old off.”
He then finds in the books—Attending a horse, Is. 6d. ; two
draughts, 4s. ; blistering throat and gland, 2s. 6d. : stimulating
sides, Is.; pot of liniment, 3s.; and eight cough and fever doses,
12s. The next invoice was—For the lay of one horse for twelve
weeks, at 5s. per week. He has no actual proof that this alluded to
the Rosinante in question, but evidently has but little doubt of it.
As a fitting conclusion, this audacious auditor has actually pre-
sented a testimonial to the Chairman of the Highways Department,
as a token of appreciation of the very exceptional case, that there is
nothing wrong in the expenditure of his department!
If there were many such auditors, audits would form a most
amusing portion of our comic literature.
The More-and-Morley Series.—The latest addition to the
Universal Library, published by Messrs. Routledge, is a volume of
Mediceval Tales. The Ballads of the Cid, the Story of Charlemagne
and Orlando, and the Gesta Bomanorutn (“ Roman Jokes,” evident
translation), are delightful. Better this than the bones of Rabelais,
daintily picked, and cleaned, and served up undevilled. A propos
of this capital series, “the cry is still they come,” and we hope also
that the cry is still “ they go ! ”