DOI Heft:
December 13, 1884
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17757#0295
288
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 13, 1884,
couple of inches, he dashed in. It seems that what Admiralty about
to do now is exactly what Lord Henry has been advising these years
back. “ Mr. Speaker, Sir,” he said ; “ this is proudest day of my
Parliamentary life. Now let me say farewell.”
“ By all means,” says the Speaker ; so he farewelled, and wrapping
up his manuscript, with one or two sheets of note-paper that happened,
to be lying on the table, he tacked out, and took a hnal cruise round
the lobby. Business done— Preliminary arrangements for spending
Five Millions and a-half.
Wednesday.—Noticed last day or two Speaker growing visibly
thinner about the legs, with care-worn expression on his face. _
“ Irish Members not been troubling you much of late P ” I said.
“ No. It’s not that, Toby. It’s the prospect of what’s before us in
the new Parliament. All the old landmarks swept away, and the
place more than ever like a
Vestry. Fancy me having to
call upon the Hon. Member for
the Strand, the Hon. Member for
Holborn, or the Hon. Member for
St. George’s, Hanover Square.
He ’ll be a Beadle, I suppose,
and will add some touch of colour
to the scene. Lord Mayor Daw-
son in gold chain and scarlet
cloak, and his velvet sborts,
won’t be in it, whilst the Mem-
bers in naval and military uni-
form who move and second the
Address, will suffer total eclipse.
I can, in my mind’s eye, Tobias,
see that Beadle walking up floor
of House, superciliously eyeing
my wig and gown. X ’ll have
trouble with him, I know I shall.
But, it isn’t that I shrink from.
It’s the notion of parochialising
the House of Commons with your
Member for St. George’s-in-the-
East, for Clerkenweli, for Ful-
ham, for Limehouse, for Poplar,
and Mile End Old Town ! They
must find a new Speaker for
the New Parliament. Perhaps
they ’ll try the Beadle.”
Peel unfeignedly touched. Redistribution, small matter to me.
I ’ve already had invitations to stand for nine Wards, two Counties,
and five amalgamations of Town and County. But Peel’s a good
fellow. Has done wonders in the Chair, and didn’t like to seem cast
down. Fancy it’s the Beadle that fetches him. Such, even with
great minds, is the jealousy of authority ?
Business done.—Hours of Polling Bill read Second Time.
Thursday.—Been reading Justin McCarthy’s History of the Four
Georges. Capital book. Much struck with remark about Pulteney
at a time when he was attacked by friends of Walpole. “Pulteney
and his friends,” writes the historian, “ were apparently under the
impression that they had a right to a monopoly of personal abuse, and
they resented any effusion of the kind from the other side as a breach
of their privilege.” Sly man, Justin. For Pulteney read Parnell,
and the case is stated.
Thought of this remark to-night, when McCoan put question about
United Ireland, gently suggesting that that interesting organ
appealed to popular ignorance and passion, bringing trade profits to
certain Parnellite Members. O’Brien furious at such insinuation.
Sexton explosive. T. P. turbulent, only Joseph Gillis calm and
self-contained. A monstrous thing that charges like this should be
brought against gentlemen who only now and then accuse Earl
Spencer of being a murderer, who have bracketed the name of
Trevelyan with those of men accused of infamous crimes, and who
level wholesale charges against officials in Ireland, most of them their
own countrymen, of packing juries and purchasing perjury.
Courtney made speech which lasted over an hour and half.
“ Great waste of time and energy,” said Bright, who hates any-
thing like self-exaltation. “ Might have said it all in eight words:
‘ I am right; you are are all wrong.’ ”
Gladstone, in charming humour ; played with ponderous Professor
with infinite zest. Kept the House in roar of laughter. Courtney
couldn’t see anything to laugh at. Business done.—Second Reading
Seats BiU agreed to without Division.
Friday.—Lords met to-day. Read Franchise Bill Third Time,
and passed it. “ Just like March,” said Granville. “ Came in
like a lion, and goes out like a lamb.” No Commons to-day.
Saturday.—Both Houses met to-day. All told, about thirty Mem-
bers present. Hustled the Franchise Bill through its last formal
stage, and so home. In consideration of hard work happily accom-
plished, holidays extended to February 19th. Business done.—All.
Extinction of Eye.
Effect of Proposed Scheme of Redis-
tribution on Ashmead-Bartlett.
ALL-AT-SEA SONGS.
Acting on Machiavelli’s famous dictum, “ Show me the nautical
compositions of a nation, and I will show you the history of its
Board of Admiralty ,” we had dispatched a competent Investigator for
the purpose of picking up in the various dockyards, sea-port towns,
drawing-rooms, coaling-stations, and other likely places, any scraps
he could come across of the Naval Ditties of the day, with a view to
ascertaining how far they have been influenced by the recent
“ Supremacy ” scare and its Parliamentary outcome. That the recent
revelations and the subsequent official action they have produced has
not been without its effect on the good old hearty songs that used to
send our forefathers to battle against the dangers of the deep, the
following brief specimens may serve to show.
The famous doings of the Lion frigate, for instance, have been
often told over a cask of rum by many a cheery gun-room fire to a
ringing chorus far into the small hours of the morning, and what
Jack Tar afloat cannot quote the familiar and stirring lines,—
“ Then up spoke our Captain, and unto us did say,
‘Cheerup, cheer up, my merry men, we ’ll show them British play;
If this had been mine own brother, the battle should have been tried;
Let every man stand true to his gun, and we ’ll give them a broadside!
“ The broadside was given, my boys, which made them all to wonder,
To see their foretopgallant mast come bowling down like thunder ;
¥e beat them from their quarters; no longer could they stay ;
And the red-hot shot poured in so hot, we showed them British play.”
The modern version of the above is naturally less sanguine. Still
there is a business-like ring about it that, at the present moment, no
doubt accounts for its popularity. Here it is :—
“ Then up spoke our Captain, and unto us did say.
‘ You see, my merry, merry men, cheeseparing doesn’t pay ;
We’re half the strength of yonder craft, and, as a port I’ve spied,
Well, like the man upon the horse, I’d like to get inside.’
“ He couldn’t; so we fired, my boys ;—but, bless you, did we wonder,
When every gun we’d got aboard bust up as we went under ?
Not we! Mre only gave three jeers to hear the Captain say,
‘ Look here, my boys, I told you so ! Cheeseparing doesn’t pay ! ’ ”
Campbell’s immortal “ Mariners” of course doesn’t pass un-
scathed. Still it is fairly fitted to the times ; as, for example, in the
appended verse :—
] As long as Northbrook’s sworn to
! keep
The Income-tax down low,
And drag and dawdle things along,
With the Income - tax down
low ! ”
“ The spirits of your fathers
Quite start from every wave:
They can’t make head or tail of why
The Government need save !
If Blake and Nelson came again,
They couldn’t strike a blow,
This is, it must be owned, perhaps, a little hard on the First Lord,
who, subject to certain restrictions, is doing what he can to put the
flag of England again into a fit condition to brave, if necessary,
both the battle and the breeze. At the same time, if he and his
colleagues would now and again join in a bit of the above chorus,
it could certainly do them no great harm.
But it is mainly in the good old class of “ foke-sale ” songs,—the
songs that, in other words, enjoy a large sale among nauticaUy-
disposed folk,—that the chief influence of the recent general national
uneasiness is. manifested. The spirit is there stiU, but, it must be
confessed, it is just a little dashed. Take the following, everywhere
popular:—
THIS TIME FOUR YEAR.
“ She’s as tidy a craft is the Vul-can-ite
As tidy as well can be !
She’s all first-class, and watertight,
Got two big guns, and the ’lectric light,
Just the ship for you, boys, and me.
So come altogether, boys, let’s give a cheer,
For she’s going to be ready—this time four year !
“ And now if a Frenchman heaves in sight,
And we shouts to him ‘ Old parley vood
And he outs with his guns, and swears he ’ll fight.
Why, we ’ll lay down the keel of the Vul-can-ite,
And put on a hand or two.
So come altogether, boys, let’s give a cheer,
Maybe she ’ll be ready—this time four year !
“ But things goes wrong, in the next fortnight,
And that Frenchman he gives us a call;
And though, boys, on paper she’s right and tight,
He blows up that there Vul-can-ite,
Keel, dockyard, guns and all!
So come altogether, boys, let’s shed a tear
On the ship as was ready—this time four year.”
Straws show the set of the wind. And it will be seen from the
above, that a little more expedition all round at the Admiralty, will ,
not be taken amiss by the country. j
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 13, 1884,
couple of inches, he dashed in. It seems that what Admiralty about
to do now is exactly what Lord Henry has been advising these years
back. “ Mr. Speaker, Sir,” he said ; “ this is proudest day of my
Parliamentary life. Now let me say farewell.”
“ By all means,” says the Speaker ; so he farewelled, and wrapping
up his manuscript, with one or two sheets of note-paper that happened,
to be lying on the table, he tacked out, and took a hnal cruise round
the lobby. Business done— Preliminary arrangements for spending
Five Millions and a-half.
Wednesday.—Noticed last day or two Speaker growing visibly
thinner about the legs, with care-worn expression on his face. _
“ Irish Members not been troubling you much of late P ” I said.
“ No. It’s not that, Toby. It’s the prospect of what’s before us in
the new Parliament. All the old landmarks swept away, and the
place more than ever like a
Vestry. Fancy me having to
call upon the Hon. Member for
the Strand, the Hon. Member for
Holborn, or the Hon. Member for
St. George’s, Hanover Square.
He ’ll be a Beadle, I suppose,
and will add some touch of colour
to the scene. Lord Mayor Daw-
son in gold chain and scarlet
cloak, and his velvet sborts,
won’t be in it, whilst the Mem-
bers in naval and military uni-
form who move and second the
Address, will suffer total eclipse.
I can, in my mind’s eye, Tobias,
see that Beadle walking up floor
of House, superciliously eyeing
my wig and gown. X ’ll have
trouble with him, I know I shall.
But, it isn’t that I shrink from.
It’s the notion of parochialising
the House of Commons with your
Member for St. George’s-in-the-
East, for Clerkenweli, for Ful-
ham, for Limehouse, for Poplar,
and Mile End Old Town ! They
must find a new Speaker for
the New Parliament. Perhaps
they ’ll try the Beadle.”
Peel unfeignedly touched. Redistribution, small matter to me.
I ’ve already had invitations to stand for nine Wards, two Counties,
and five amalgamations of Town and County. But Peel’s a good
fellow. Has done wonders in the Chair, and didn’t like to seem cast
down. Fancy it’s the Beadle that fetches him. Such, even with
great minds, is the jealousy of authority ?
Business done.—Hours of Polling Bill read Second Time.
Thursday.—Been reading Justin McCarthy’s History of the Four
Georges. Capital book. Much struck with remark about Pulteney
at a time when he was attacked by friends of Walpole. “Pulteney
and his friends,” writes the historian, “ were apparently under the
impression that they had a right to a monopoly of personal abuse, and
they resented any effusion of the kind from the other side as a breach
of their privilege.” Sly man, Justin. For Pulteney read Parnell,
and the case is stated.
Thought of this remark to-night, when McCoan put question about
United Ireland, gently suggesting that that interesting organ
appealed to popular ignorance and passion, bringing trade profits to
certain Parnellite Members. O’Brien furious at such insinuation.
Sexton explosive. T. P. turbulent, only Joseph Gillis calm and
self-contained. A monstrous thing that charges like this should be
brought against gentlemen who only now and then accuse Earl
Spencer of being a murderer, who have bracketed the name of
Trevelyan with those of men accused of infamous crimes, and who
level wholesale charges against officials in Ireland, most of them their
own countrymen, of packing juries and purchasing perjury.
Courtney made speech which lasted over an hour and half.
“ Great waste of time and energy,” said Bright, who hates any-
thing like self-exaltation. “ Might have said it all in eight words:
‘ I am right; you are are all wrong.’ ”
Gladstone, in charming humour ; played with ponderous Professor
with infinite zest. Kept the House in roar of laughter. Courtney
couldn’t see anything to laugh at. Business done.—Second Reading
Seats BiU agreed to without Division.
Friday.—Lords met to-day. Read Franchise Bill Third Time,
and passed it. “ Just like March,” said Granville. “ Came in
like a lion, and goes out like a lamb.” No Commons to-day.
Saturday.—Both Houses met to-day. All told, about thirty Mem-
bers present. Hustled the Franchise Bill through its last formal
stage, and so home. In consideration of hard work happily accom-
plished, holidays extended to February 19th. Business done.—All.
Extinction of Eye.
Effect of Proposed Scheme of Redis-
tribution on Ashmead-Bartlett.
ALL-AT-SEA SONGS.
Acting on Machiavelli’s famous dictum, “ Show me the nautical
compositions of a nation, and I will show you the history of its
Board of Admiralty ,” we had dispatched a competent Investigator for
the purpose of picking up in the various dockyards, sea-port towns,
drawing-rooms, coaling-stations, and other likely places, any scraps
he could come across of the Naval Ditties of the day, with a view to
ascertaining how far they have been influenced by the recent
“ Supremacy ” scare and its Parliamentary outcome. That the recent
revelations and the subsequent official action they have produced has
not been without its effect on the good old hearty songs that used to
send our forefathers to battle against the dangers of the deep, the
following brief specimens may serve to show.
The famous doings of the Lion frigate, for instance, have been
often told over a cask of rum by many a cheery gun-room fire to a
ringing chorus far into the small hours of the morning, and what
Jack Tar afloat cannot quote the familiar and stirring lines,—
“ Then up spoke our Captain, and unto us did say,
‘Cheerup, cheer up, my merry men, we ’ll show them British play;
If this had been mine own brother, the battle should have been tried;
Let every man stand true to his gun, and we ’ll give them a broadside!
“ The broadside was given, my boys, which made them all to wonder,
To see their foretopgallant mast come bowling down like thunder ;
¥e beat them from their quarters; no longer could they stay ;
And the red-hot shot poured in so hot, we showed them British play.”
The modern version of the above is naturally less sanguine. Still
there is a business-like ring about it that, at the present moment, no
doubt accounts for its popularity. Here it is :—
“ Then up spoke our Captain, and unto us did say.
‘ You see, my merry, merry men, cheeseparing doesn’t pay ;
We’re half the strength of yonder craft, and, as a port I’ve spied,
Well, like the man upon the horse, I’d like to get inside.’
“ He couldn’t; so we fired, my boys ;—but, bless you, did we wonder,
When every gun we’d got aboard bust up as we went under ?
Not we! Mre only gave three jeers to hear the Captain say,
‘ Look here, my boys, I told you so ! Cheeseparing doesn’t pay ! ’ ”
Campbell’s immortal “ Mariners” of course doesn’t pass un-
scathed. Still it is fairly fitted to the times ; as, for example, in the
appended verse :—
] As long as Northbrook’s sworn to
! keep
The Income-tax down low,
And drag and dawdle things along,
With the Income - tax down
low ! ”
“ The spirits of your fathers
Quite start from every wave:
They can’t make head or tail of why
The Government need save !
If Blake and Nelson came again,
They couldn’t strike a blow,
This is, it must be owned, perhaps, a little hard on the First Lord,
who, subject to certain restrictions, is doing what he can to put the
flag of England again into a fit condition to brave, if necessary,
both the battle and the breeze. At the same time, if he and his
colleagues would now and again join in a bit of the above chorus,
it could certainly do them no great harm.
But it is mainly in the good old class of “ foke-sale ” songs,—the
songs that, in other words, enjoy a large sale among nauticaUy-
disposed folk,—that the chief influence of the recent general national
uneasiness is. manifested. The spirit is there stiU, but, it must be
confessed, it is just a little dashed. Take the following, everywhere
popular:—
THIS TIME FOUR YEAR.
“ She’s as tidy a craft is the Vul-can-ite
As tidy as well can be !
She’s all first-class, and watertight,
Got two big guns, and the ’lectric light,
Just the ship for you, boys, and me.
So come altogether, boys, let’s give a cheer,
For she’s going to be ready—this time four year !
“ And now if a Frenchman heaves in sight,
And we shouts to him ‘ Old parley vood
And he outs with his guns, and swears he ’ll fight.
Why, we ’ll lay down the keel of the Vul-can-ite,
And put on a hand or two.
So come altogether, boys, let’s give a cheer,
Maybe she ’ll be ready—this time four year !
“ But things goes wrong, in the next fortnight,
And that Frenchman he gives us a call;
And though, boys, on paper she’s right and tight,
He blows up that there Vul-can-ite,
Keel, dockyard, guns and all!
So come altogether, boys, let’s shed a tear
On the ship as was ready—this time four year.”
Straws show the set of the wind. And it will be seen from the
above, that a little more expedition all round at the Admiralty, will ,
not be taken amiss by the country. j