Punch (90.1886)

January 30, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAKIVAPJ. • 49

A REAL GOOD SHOW.

My Dear Regent Morton and Earl oe Leicester Square,—I am
aware that you are the "Acting Manager" at the Alhambra, and not
the Dancing Manager, hut as the two Arts are so admirably combined

at this establishment, I may
address you as the Represen-
tative of both, and congratu-
late you on having the best en-
tertainment that your Theatre
of Varieties has produced for

years, and the largest audiences
to witness it. You have

got

a charming ballet, Nina, at
Nine - a - clock, arranged and
invented by Mons. J. Hansen.
The principal ddnseuse, Mile.
Palladtno (my compliments to
her), as the heroine, tells her
story in pantomime so perfectly
that no Acting Manager, how-
ever well he might act, could
do it better ; and she makes all
her points, with her toes, so in-

■u- ■ rp- . »n i„„ telligibly that the audience can
Piping Times at the Alhambia. m<^ ^ ^ dogdy ^ ^

understandings, and hecome as deeply interested in the plot as if they
were seeing a melodrama. She is ably supported by Miles. Lillie Lee
and Marie as Manuelito, and Juanez. The music, by your excellent
Music Manager, M. Jacobi, characteristically illustrates the different
situations, and gives the motives for action. It is as catching as
measles, and as dramatic as Meyerbeer's Huguenots.

By the way, why should not the story of some well-known Opera
be condensed and arranged as a Ballet ? Or, if we come to that,

Nina a Nine-a-'Clock.
Mile. Palladmo and the Ballet of the In-fann'd Allphan Asylum.

why not Hamlet? "To be or not to be" would perhaps present
some little difficulty as a pas seul; but "the Two Macs'^would
make a first-rate pair of Orave-diggers,—with a fight introduced, of
course. They are wonderful fellows. "■ I remember them two or three
years ago. They are now funnier than ever.
With the single exception of the Blondin
Donkey, I haven't seen anything so su-
premely idiotically ridiculous as the per-
formance of the Two Macs, Their tableaux
are like a series of
those comic Ger-
man pictures.

The Donkey
Entertainment
by the Brothers
Griffiths, which
follows M. St.
Jacome's flageolet
solo,—an artistic
performance high-
ly appreciated by
the vast audience,

The "Maes "and Smacks T™*^$LS£ The Blonam DoiikeT; or,
byt7Lt°'W^ aXtheDoTey^ The Vigour of Brly.
wayoi suddenly turning nasty, looking- quite assid, and threatening to
go tor his master, is perhaps one of the most original hits of jocose
ja&fe-assity ever seen on the stage within the memory of the oldest
avmg playgoer, or music-hall habitue.

Once more I must congratulate you, Regent Morton and Earl of
Leicester Square, on your Military Ballet, which finishes the evening
triumphantly. Victory crowns the efforts of the Alhambra Company.
The costumes are from designs by M. Besciie,—qui facit per
" Alias" facit per se,—-that is, they are made by M. Alias, and
are quite "per se"—especially, of course, those worn by the sailors.
Musical Manager Jacobi's music brings in all the national airs, and
the Highlanders, Lowlanders, Grannydears, and Little-dears, bring
in with them all their national graces. By the way, in the '' Bayonet
Charge," the bayonets seemed to be in good order. Hadn't you
better, my excellent Regent Morton, immediately order an inspec-
tion ? This is only a suggestion from Steel Nibbs.

A FEW MORE OE THEM.

Sir John Lubbock's list of the " Hundred Best Books," though it
has given general satisfaction to every one except Mr. Rusktn, has
been subjected, in certain influential quarters, to some amendment,
and the following few specimens, taken at random, may interest
those who are eager to provide still more suitable material for the
readers of the "Working Men's College :—

Lord Randolph Churchill,—Blue Books on Burmah (various).

A Young Three- Volume Novelist.—A hundred volumes of his own
latest work (uncut).

A Member of the Jockey Club.—Book on the coming Derby, illus-
trated with latest tips.

Mr. Augustus Harris.—Ledger, handsomely bound in maroon
velvet, showing recent booking at Drury Lane Theatre.

Mr. Parnell.—" History of his Negotiations with the Present Gov-
ernment," furnished in his own Black Books.

King Milan of Servia.—" Handy Volume of Patriotic Poems,"
improvised on the conclusion of the recent campaign.

Mr. Wills.—y The Life and Times of Mr. Schutz "Wilson," as
gathered from his criticism on Faust.

Mr. W. II. Smith.—Pocket Edition of "Irish Nationalist Song
Book," for the use of Schools.

Mr. Wilson Barrett.—Book of "The Lord Harry," showing Mr.
Wilson Barrett's share of the composition printed in red ink.

Sir Michael Hicks-Beach.—" The Comic History of Procedure in
all Ages " (latest edition).

Sir Drummond Woolff.—" An Account of Turkish Backgammon "
(withIllustrations), as played by him daily at Cairo with Moukhtar
Pasha.

Prince Henry of Battenberg.—'' Some of his Movements," as gath-
ered from the Court Circular, printed on white satin {edition de luxe).

The Speaker of the House of Commons.—Volume of his own
" Commentaries."

Sir Edward Watkin.—" The Greatest Bores of History," with
some account of the floating of the Channel Tunnel Company.

Mr. Horsley, II. A.—" Clothes, and How to Wear Them," Being a
handsomely illustrated pamphlet of a well-known firm of Advertising

ailor s

The Butcher—" His Book Made Up to Date," with request for a
cheque.__^^^^^^^

Decrepitude at a Premium.—"Nothing like old servants!"
everyone says. Old servants are supposed to be as valuable as Old
Masters, old fiddles, and old friends. Old servants are becoming scarce.
This is very strange, as people are getting older and older every
day. They are even advertising for the aged retainer. Look at
this, from the Morning Post .—

WANTED, immediately, a Good PLAIN COOK ; no dairy or baking ;
Church of England; age about 80 ; good wages.
We can understand a fine old crusted Butler giving dignity to a
Family Mansion. But a good Plain Cook of eighty puzzles us. Her
mission is rather to be useful than ornamental; her influence is felt
rather than seen. We should think A good Plain Cook of eightv "
could make her influence very much felt indeed, and would probably
manage to entirely upset a large family in the course of a couple o'f
days.

The Children's Knight.

" Sic transit gloria Mundella!"

You fought for the Children with voice and with pen,

'Gainst fierce over-pressure and hard-hearted men;

Your accolade's welcome in country and town:

Good luck to the new Knight, Sir James Crichton-Browne.

The Chief Secretary for Ireland.—What does the appoint-
ment of Mr. W. H. Smith portend ? War to the ( paper) -Knife ?
However, we wish well to the O'Smith in his new career.

vol. sc.