Punch (90.1886)

February 13, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI. 73

"HENGLER'S AND HORSIER."

Having become, after a good many years of play-seeing and circus-
viewing, rather blase of these favourite amusements, I now frequently
take with me, to help me in forming an opinion anent the merits of
a performance, a young gentleman I call ' Tommy the Tester." He
has been brought up, so to speak, to the business. He is still of
very tender years, and only two seasons ago so took to heart "the
Demon of Mischief " at a pantomime, that he had to be consoled with
buns and acidulated drops in the Refreshment Department. Last
year he accompanied me to see Mr. Toole in Paul Pry, when he
laughed so much that we were nearly turned out for creating a
disturbance. If I had not threatened him with loss of his pudding
at his dinner for a week (which more or less sobered him), our
presence would not have been tolerated. This year he has greatly
grown both in body and mind, and combines with the keen enjoy-
ment of extreme youth the critical acumen of considerable experience.

When I told Tommy the Tester that I proposed taking him to see
the Steeple-Chase at Mr. Henglee's establishment, he confessed that
he had long wished to visit the Circus where, he reminded me, the
favourite drama of Pookicood and the popular " Staghunt" had
been performed when " he was quite a child, eighteen months ago."

It was a matter of some regret to us to find that a part of the
programme was over before we reached Argyll Place. However, we
were so delighted with the performance of a young lady, called
Mile. FoNTArN-ebleau, that we quickly dried our tears, and enjoyed
her gambols with a number of poodles.

"Why is she called Mile. Fontainebleatj ? " asked the Tester.
" Isn't that a place in France P"

" Quite so," I returned, always ready to afford information. If
she had been English, she would have been called Miss Margate,
—for Fontainebleau is the French for the pleasant Thanet watering-
place of which you have heard so much."

This seemed to give the Tester much food for reflection, until the
antics of a most accomplished gentleman dressed as a jockey, called
forth the question, whether if he " were really racing they would let
him ride like that?" As "riding like that" was an allusion to a
seat seemingly on the extreme tip of the horse's tail, I was forced
to confess that, without being myself strictly a sporting man, I
imagined that no set of Stewards would permit it. At the " wheezes"
of Sandy and Yoeick, the Tester simply screamed, putting his head
on the cushion, of the box, and rolling it about in an ecstasy of
merriment. He was also tickled at '' the American Riding Machine "
although he doubted the genuineness of the victims selected from the
audience for a lesson. He was less satisfied with the "Lancers'
Quadrille," danced en militaire, on horseback, pointing out that
'' they didn't know how to salute as he had seen it done by the Guards
at Wellington Barracks." The length of the preparations for the
wonderful bicycle troupe caused some grumbling which, however,

Home Kule at Ilengler's. Two Pat'uns.

was appeased by buns. When we did see their performances, how-
ever, both the Tester and myself applauded loudly. A rather scornful
lady, m a riding habit, who made her thoroughbred do everything
but anything an naturel, earned from my young companion the
verdict of " Well, after all, it's very clever!" He was less satisfied
with a very fat acrobat, who, seemingly when he had nothing better
to do, jumped on to the shoulders of his daughter, observing indig-
nantly, that " that wasn't the way to treat your children."
. -"y this time, the hour had arrived for the event of the evening,
the Steeple-chase." My young friend, the Tester, took much
interest m the preliminaries, asking numerous questions about weights,
colours, and welshing. I may say, at once, that the representation
was most admirable. However, we were rather puzzled at two un-
couth creatures, who had a great deal to say, of a quaint, humorous
character. Neither the Tester nor I could make out who they wore
intended to represent, as they appeared to be a cross between scare-

crows and North-American Indians. At last my infant companion
uttered an exclamation of delight and shouted-

" I know who they are! One of 'em said 'Bedad !'—they must
be meant for Irishmen! "

The Tester was perfectly right, as an examination of the programme
proved them to be "Hibernian Sportsmen." For all this, the
Steeple-chase was most realistic, although certainly, on account of
the narrowness of the course, the horses had to follow one another
like University boats at a bumping race. To conclude—" All's well
that ends well"," and the performances ended well—before eleven.

Squtrblek.

THE OFFICE OF CITY-MARSHAL.

The grand old Copperashun will
have one of the most importantest and
one of the most difficultest tarsks
to perform next Fursday week as ever
they had.

To the great regret of all of us, who
liked to see a cerrymonial office filled
with dignerty, the late City Marshall
has gone to his rest. Peas be with
himf *

To them as is not aware of thewerry
onnerable dooties attatched to this
high hoffice, it may seem strange that
there should be amost thirty of the
werry hiest hofficers in Her Majesty's
millintary service as is candy-
dates for about seven pound a
week and the ire of an horse on
speshal oeasions. I thinks as
this last derangement is rather
shabby, I shood have thort as
how the Copperashun knowing
the himportance of striking a
mob, wood have bort an horse
for their Feild Marshall as
wood have struck everyboddy,
say a 17 or 18 hands hire, and
have guv it him. However
that is only a dtail to which one
need not hang werry much
importense.

1 have seed all the Candid-
" Yessir! Sutt'nly Sir!" dates, at least in print, from

the werry hiest, the Major
General, down to the werry lowest, the Clark in the Controller's
Office, so I spose as the Controller is a Solger, tho' I shoodn't hev
thought it to look at him. Ah, one may easily think to whose nobil
figger my memory fondly turns when trying to realise a moddel City
Feild Marshall. Need I menshun the onered name of Wtddycttm"?
With that egsperienced Weteran marshalling his forces in Gildhall
Yard on Lord Mare's Day how needless would be the trembling
anksiety of his Lordship and all his warking Gentlemen as to the
successful turning round of the Carridge of state with its six power-
ful horses and their six tugging and prespiring grooms! There has
been a tork of arsking Mr. Sam Btjen, the sillybrated hartist, to take
the post on account of his butiful riding, but it was thort he would
not draw so well in that capassity as in his ordinary one, or rather
in his extraornerry one.

As far as I remember the Queen herself has only got one Feild
Marshall, so I spose as she coudn't werry well spare him, or else a
good seven pound a week woodn't be a bad edition to no one's
incum. I nose as I shood think so. Marshall Pontleex Maximtjs
was also thought of, but it was found as he coudn't posserbly be
spared from his himportant dooties of Ward Clark, or we shood hev
had such a City Marshall, and a Marshalless two, for briteness and
dignerty, as the City ain't offen seed.

It was thort at one time of putting ewery candiddate through his
most diffycult tarsk, that of riding on horseback all the way from
the Manshun House to Gildhall, with ony two Policemen to take care
of him, right through the hole traflick in Cheapside, but sum of the
werry boldest on 'em begged to be xcused from the terrvble hawdeal
unless acumpanied by the Lord Majie, but it is said they are all to
ride up and down King Street wunee, and three times round Gild-
hall Yard, on the morning of election, and the Police Surgeon is to
be in atendance in case of haecidents.—One enthoosiastiek Common
Councilman wentured to surgest that all the thirtv candidates should
be dressed in then- full regimentals and mounted on thirtv of
Sanger's most butiful horses, should preseed the Lord Mare on his
way to Gildhall on the day of Election. Wot a brillyant idear!
Why the hopemng of Parlymcnt woodn't bo within two miles of it.
Try it, my Lord Marx, try it, nor leave the tarsk to your next prc-
dessessor. Robert.

vol. xe.

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