Punch (90.1886)

March 6, 1886.] PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHAEIVAEL

117

THE DANCING MAN.

She. "Awfully nice Dance at Mrs. Masham's last night !"
He. "Yaas. "Webb you thebe ?"

She. " Was I there? "Why—I danced with you Three Times! 1
He. " Really ! So glad I!"

SUGGESTIONS FOE NEW ETJLES.

Sib.,—I am not one of the Elected, but an Elector. (By-the-way, I am not up
in history, but what a wonderful place Hanover must have been with only one
Elector !!) I think that the work of a Member of Parliament ought to override all
other considerations whatsoever.

If a barrister or business man can give his time to getting himself elected,
which involves temporary neglect of duties, let him devote his: whole day
when he becomes a Member to the service of his country. Nothing less is
expected of him, and with nothing less should his constituents be satisfied.

It is because the House of Commons came gradually to be looked upon as "the
pleasantest Club in the world," that the business of the country has suffered.

"Business first, pleasure afterwards," seems to have been the motto of most
M.P.'s, who went to their day's work from ten or eleven till four, and then
strolled down to the House as they would to their Club.

No consideration should be made for the "private business " of Members. If
a Stockbroker is elected M.P., let him get a partner who will do the Stockbroking
business; and so for a Drysalter, or a Brewer, or a Small-Coal-and-'Tatur-man,
or whatever may be the nature of the business or profession of any Member. Were
this insisted on, then we should have the work of the House done within reason-
able hours, as thus:—Committees, 10'30 to 12'30; two hours allowed for recrea-
tion and refreshment, 2'30 to ^ for work, 7 to 9'30 for further recreation and
refreshment, and then from 9"30 to 11'30 for Question and Answer time and
Notices, or anything that was merely mechanical. At 11 '30, "Who goes home ? "
and everyone in bed by 12 "30. To ascertain every night that this last regulation
had been duly complied with, special officers should be told off to various
districts, who should inquire at the houses of the Members residing or lodging
there, and receive positive assurance of the M.P.'s having retired to rest for the
night at the proper time. Saturday and Sunday must be "off-nights." Every
Member at the commencement of every Session, should swear or affirm solemnly,
that he will faithfully and strictly observe all the Pules which are to guide his
conduct both in and out of the House.

The above are my own original notions. I enclose my card; and assuring you
that I haven't another up my sleeve, I am Tours truly,

One in a Thousand.

PAPEE-KNIFE POEMS.

(By Our Special Book-Marker.)

"A LIFE'S MISTAKE."

Tnn'plot it is distinctly strong,
The story not a page too long,

Style good, likewise the grammar: on
The whole I think it light and bright.
The tale is wholesome, fresh,—pray write,

Another, Mrs. Cameron !

"OUR TOWN."

Penny readings and pic-nics, provincial society,
With cricket, lawn-tennis, and country society,
You will find here described in their endless variety !

"AN ITALIAN GARDEN."

A book of flower-fragrant verse,
Dreamy, delightful, tender, terse.

Most admirably done!
There's light and colour in each scene,
There's music of the mandoline,

And bright Italian sun !

"KATE PERCIVAL."
Is you 're anxious for a story which is very good indeed,
Mrs. Comyns Care's Kate Percival's the one you ought
to read!

"JOBSON'S ENEMIES."

Three vols, in one—a fresh edition,
Thrice welcome in its new condition!
A graphic novel, bound to please, and, long before it ends,
You'll number Jolson's Enemies among the reader's
friends!

The first edition of Mr. Hatton's Lyceum Faust,
with pictures, was exhausted in a day's sale. We ex-
hausted ours in a fifteen minutes' drive. This must not be
confused with the Faust and Loose, the Edition de Luxe,—
or " Edition de 8. Luke's," as Sir Thomas de Bedlam
hath _ it,—which is inexhaustible. Advice to Pater-
familias,—All young people are fond of carpentering, and
nothing pleases them so much as a Box o' Toole's.

UNREHEARSED EFFECTS.

But, "All's Well that Ends Well."

The Lyceum Mephistopheles Alexander Faust. " 0 my

{with his head bound up). "0 poor legs and arms!" {Be-

my poor head!" {But goes on enters as Young Faust.)
acting.)

Fob One Night only ! a Call.

Mephistoolpheles {log). "Ex- M'iss B. Terry {toMissBast-

ouse my poor throat! Glad I've lake). "Thanks, my throat is

got plenty of steam in the much better ! But how's your

house!" {Re-appears as fresh poor foot?" {Nearly well,

<*» ever-) we 're glad to say.)