Punch (90.1886)

206

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI.

[Mat 1, 1886.

'SUPPLY AND DEMAND."

Antiquarian Gent. "Got any old—ah—Roman Weapons ok Pottery lately?"

Dealer. "'Xpect 'em in nex' Week, Sir,—-'ain't quite finished Eustin' yet, Sir,—about Toosday, Sir!'

IMPERIAL OBATORY.

I may claim to be a patriot, for 'tis my fondest dream

To promote the quick fruition of the Federative scheme

"Which shall give to Greater Britain the cohesion that she lacks,

And unite in one vast League her whites, her tawnies, and her blacks.

With respect to British subjects, I desire to efface

All existing disabilities of colour, creed, and race,

And, throughout the greatest Empire that this earth has ever seen,

To give parity of rights to every liegeman of the Queen.

I opine that ev'ry folk which owns Old England's kindly sway
Is entitled in her Parliament to say its utmost say ;
That its delegates, no matter what their hue, should one and all
Be convoked unto St. Stephen's, to make laws for great and small;
Regulations should not force them in our mother-tongue to speak—
The Hindoo should spout in Tamil, and the Cypriote in Greek ;
For I deem it an injustice that might break a heart of stone
To compel a man to prate in any idiom but his own.

I should dearly like to listen to Sir Jinjir Jellijee

Pitching into Mr. Gladstone in the choicest Bengalee,

And to see Sir William Harcourt, grim and desperate, at baj*,

Undergoing? confutation in colloquial Malay.

What could be more interesting than a Maiden Speech in Zulu,

Or a Motion in the dialect of Wooloo-wooloo-mooloo,

Or a spirited discussion on the Order of the Day

'Twixt a Mie-Mac legislator and the Member for Bombay ?

It would entertain me very much to hear a Vote of Thanks
Moved in fine old crusted Cornish—aye, and seconded in Manx :
And I feel convinced that in the House there must be many a Mac
Who can make a speech in Gaelic quite as well as William Black.
Why, I ask, should not the Member for Ben Cruachan or Eewis,
When he wants to move the House, give notice thus:—1,1 JRtabh na
cm*??

And, supposing that adjournment be his object, is it fair

To cry "Question ! " when he murmurs, "Afhir gudidh na cagair?"

'Twould be little less than touching were the Member for Tralee
To refer to George Trevelyan as " Acushla Gramachree '. "
Or to mention Johnny Morley—never thus described before—
As "Nabocklish och! Mavourneen," or, maybe, as "Shawn asthore.
Very likely, Irish arguments would pithy be and terse,
And more luminous than heretofore, if urged in classic Erse,
Which has recently been proved, beyond a doubt, to be the tongue
That was spoken by the patriarch Mhthusaleh, when young.
There's a Member of our Parliament who yearns to speak his mind
In an unfamiliar language of a very ancient kmd.
Ho believes, as I am told, that he is called upon to teach
All his colleagues to appreciate the fervid Cymric speech;
Yet I fear he scarce will dare to " move the House," as matters stand,
In the liquid, throaty accents of his dear old native land;
Though I really fail to see what right the Commons have to squelch
The elect of Rhondda Valley, just because he speaks in Welsh !
That this gushing minstrel-poet—Mabos" is his Bardic name-
Should be doomed to chronic silence in the Commons is a shame,
For at banquets he is often heard, his manly voice to raise
In extempore penillions and stin-ing Druid lays. [House,
Yet when he—" Y Gmr Anrhydeddus —would fain address the
^Tot a single shout of " Clyivch .'" renders tribute to his nous :
And he somehow always fails to catch the Speaker's roving eye,
When the spirit moves him to exclaim, " Gohiriad y Ty ! "

If my plan should be adopted, 'twould our Ministers compel

To learn five-and-forty languages, or more—and learn them well;

And the number of aspirants to the Cabinet, maybe,

Would be sensibly diminished by that stern necessity;

Though their burden of vernaculars they haply might decrease

By dividing it among them, at the rate of five apiece.

But I fear some would-be Speakers it may possibly appal

To reflect that they, at least, will be obliged to knoiv them all.'

" The Hamlet oe Mile-End Old Towtt."—" Good gracious me!'
exclaimed Mrs. Ram, on reading this heading to a paragraph in the
Times. "Another of 'em ! What will Mr. Irving say to this ? "