Punch (39.1860)

^ PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 13, 1860.

MR. BRIGGS IN THE HIGHLANDS.

Mr. Briggs, previous to going through his course of Deer-Stalking, assists the Forester in getting a Hart or two
for the House. Donald is requesting our Friend to hold the Animal down by the Horns.

[N.B. The said Animal is as strong as a Bull, and uses his legs like a Race-horse.

THE ALLOCUTION.

“ The following is a summary of the Allocution delivered by the Pope in the
Consistory held on the 28th.”

King Victor’s a wretch and a horrible thief,

Blasphemer, church-robber, and stabber.

And I’m happy to think he ’ll one day come to grief
For being so greedy a grabber.

As touching the soldiers who died in my cause,

No fate could be better or sweeter;

I certify all have escaped from the jaws
Of Old N. and gone up to St. Peter.

Regarding the Kings that don’t lend me a hand
To work out the Papacy’s mission,

I beg that those monarchs will please understand
They ’re all on the road to perdition.

I especially hint to the Gallican Sphinx
That his acts are all futile and null, for
While he’s making a capital book, as he thinks,

I’ve booked him for sojourn in sulphur.

So up to the aid of your father the Pofe,

Who gives you these elegant wiggings.

Don’t force him, as "Yankees would call it, to slope,

And make tracks for unsanctified diggings.

Save the Chair of St. Peter from being defiled
By yon “ Parricidal Pollution: ”

Draw the Sword in my favour, and don’t draw it mild,—

And this is your Pope’s Allocution.

lord derby’s last.

Why is a man without any acquaintances in the Sporting world like
the only excuse for a man’s bad manners ? Because he knows no Better.

A MICHAELMAS GOOSE COOKED.

Our facetious contemporary, the Spiritual Magazine, among a host
of compliments in this month’s number, pays us this

“ We are well pleased to have Punch as an enemy rather than as a friend, for he
is doing good to the cause by making it more extensively known, whilst he dare
not introduce at all such a subject favourably into his columns."

The Spiritualist mind, we are informed, does not reason. What it
knows, it knows by intuition only. From the mundane power of
reasoning it is completely held aloof. Hence we cannot feel surprised
at the above absurd assertion. To any other intellect than that of a
Spiritualist it must be obvious at once that inasmuch as Punch has a
character (as well as a family) to support, of course he “dare not
speak” in favour of such humbugs as the Spiritualists ; because if he
so belied himself and mis-stated the plain fact, his circulation and his
character would equally be injured. A truth so obvious as this it was
quite needless to state ; but as a Spiritualist seldom has the chance to
tell a truth, we can hardly be astonished that the chance should be
laid hold of.

As for the assertion, that Punch has done good service to the
Spiritualist cause by making known the trickery by which it is sup-
ported, this statement, on the face of it, bears such likelihood of truth
that we hardly think it needful to question its veracity. All that we
can say is, that the Spiritualists are quite welcome to the lifts which
we have given them; though we rather apprehend that were they to
confess the truth, it would be found that they have pocketed more
kicks by us than halfpence.

Did you Lately ?

Talk of French Politeness, the Constitutionnel, in speaking of the
Pope’s Allocution, is severe on the holy padre, because while begging
for aid he makes insinuations against. France. To think we should live
to hear the Pope called an Insinuating Beggar !