Punch (39.1860)

174

PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[NOVEMBER 3. 186U.

THE BORES OF THE BEACH.

So! as it’s a Fine Day, You’ll sit on the Beach and Read the Paper comfortably, will you? Yery Good! Then we

RECOMMEND YOU TO GET WHAT GUINEA-PIGS, BRANDY-BALLS, BOATS, AND CHILDREN’S SOCKS, TO SAY NOTHING OF StlELL-WORK-

boxes, Lace Collars, and the lire you may want, before you Settle Down.

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THE TRIO AT WARSAW.

When Yictor first began to reign
Without the Tyrants’ leaves.

He much alarmed three mighty men;

And two of them were thieves :

The first he was a Russian;

The next he was a Prussian;

And the third he was a little Kai-ser:

Three Despots altogether.

The Russian chafed with scorn;

The Prussian spun a yarn ;

And the little Kai-ser waxed red with wrath.
And all three Sovereigns warm.

The Russian was choked with self-will;

The Prussian made swallow his yarn;

And the Rebels did away with the little Kai-ser,
With his Charter under his arm.

THE PENNY WEDDING.

We are happy to state that a marriage which has been for a con-
siderable time on the sawdust has at length taken place. On Monday,
the 22nd ult. was solemnised in the Chapel, Fetter Lane, the union of
Morning Star, Esq, adopted child of John Bright, Esq., of Bir-
mingham, M.P., with Miss Dial, surviving child of A. Great Mistake,
Fleet Street. The bride had long been in a delicate state of health,
owing to her having been unfortunately submitted to empirical treat,
ment, and at one time had scarcely been expected to linger through
another week, but it is hoped that the happy alliance now made will give
her a new lease of life. Her husband, though not very well educated,
and though at times inclined to be coarse, has a manly English character,
and Miss Dial, though brought up as a rigid Dissenter, has already
seen the folly of fanaticism, and has accompanied her new lord to most
of the theatres, to Newmarket races, and other scenes of which she
was lately in the habit of speaking with the shyness of ignorance. We
take much interest in the fortunes of the wedded pair, and trust that
they will be blest with a large issue.

EXCITING RYCE.

Last week there was a most exciting race in the Strand between a
fire-engine and a Pickford’s van. The former had the start, but was
soon caught up to by the latter. The pace for about ten minutes was
terrific, we might almost say, killing—but ultimately the Pickford’s
van won by a good couple of streets. Only five children and two old
women were thrown over, fifteen apple-stalls upset, one costermonger’s
donkey seriously injured and not expected to survive, besides an old
gentleman and a commissionaire, who were carried to the hospital,
and lie in a very precarious state. The winner was taken to the station
house, and weighed in the scales of justice, whereupon some little
irregularity being detected, he was detained. This irregularity simply
arose from the fact of his being considerably overweighted witli liquor, j

A Table of Contents.

A Table that answers to every rap of the Spiritualist, and answers
precisely as the Spiritualist wishes it,—or a table that moves according
to the desires of the fools that are circled round it, and is as easily
moved as a cook with a novel in penny numbers,— or, better still, a
table whose legs will begin cutting capers, and then flies off into the
Post-Horn Galop round the room, and winds up by dancing the College
Hornpipe on the ceiling,—such a table is indeed a Table of Contents.
A Table of Discontents is one, we suppose, that will not yield to any
amount of pressure—that would not allow itself to be carried away
even by a broker.

Pere la Chaise.—Twins in a Perambulator.

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