Punch (39.1860)

November 17, I860.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

197

JEWELS OF JOURNALISM.

* To — Punch, Esq.

“Verbena Villa, Monday.
You Dear Old Pet,*
—I am so much obliged
to you for putting in
the letter which I
wrote the other day
about our darling
Prince of Wales,
aud how before he left
America he had to kiss,
oh! ever such a lot of
girls by proxy, select-
ing one (of course the
prettiest') to take the
kisses for the rest; two
dozen I think there
were, but the paper
didn’t say whether the
Prince kissed her four
and twenty times for
them. Well, his labours
are all over now, and
I’m sure he must be
glad of it, for only
think what lie’s gone
through, and so young
as he is too, and what
with all his travelling
and late hours, and
then having to rise

early in order to pack up, he must have fairly neen worn out, and quite glad to get home
again.

“ Put after all, he must have had a most delightful time of it. Only fancy how delicious to
have dancing every night almost, and always with fresh partners! I declare it’s a great
shame there were no ladies in his suite. They would so much have enjoyed themselves. And
how nice it would have been to be mentioned in the newspapers, ana publicly be compli-
mented for one’s personal appearance, as is the fashion in America, it seems in high society.
At least one judges this is so from the account the New York Herald gives of one of the
American Nights’ Entertainments which were lately got up to amuse their English visitors.
The Herald thus describes a few of the ‘radiant multitude’ for the purpose of ‘conveying
an idea of the general unanimity of the picture : ’—

Miss Charlotte Gumming wore a lace dress with autumn leaves embroidered over tulle skirt. A scarf
of green leaves completed an effective tou.l ensemble, and a row of pearls found a fitting resting place around a
head of glossy black hair.

“ Miss Mary Clapp, a favourite of the evening, wore lace over white silk, looped up with natural flowers.
Very pretty.

“ Mrs. John Schermerhorn looked a sort of incarnation of the Adriatic with the Doge of Venice. [Oh, my
goodness me ! how nice she must have looked ! How I wish I had her photograph !J

“ Mrs Stratestingui wore a beautiful lace looped up with flowers, looking every inch a bride.

“ Miss Ellen Rbed wore a simple pink cloud of crape, and, almost without a single ornament, was a
specimen of cottage simplicity calculated to do au immense amount of damage.”

“ There, now! isn’t that delicious ! I declare I feel quite jealous ! Only think how nice,
after going to a ball, to find one was considered to ‘look every inch a bride,’ or that some
reporter thought one ‘very pretty!’ As of course one would not know whether one had
reauy been ‘the favourite of the evening,’ how delightful it would be ou awakeuing the
next morning to find oneself so famous ! What a pity it is our papers are so stupidly
reserved, aud withhold such pleasant news from us. Just conceive with what delight a
debutante at Almack’s would discover that Bell’s Life considered her a ‘specimen of cottage
simplicity,’ and how it would charm Mamma the Countess to learn that it was stated by the
’Tiser or the Telegraph that, to their idea, her Ellen was ‘calculated to do au immense
amount of damage.’

“ Equally deLightful it would be to our beau monde to find their manners aud demeanour
criticised as freely as their personal appearance. If American reporters had access to our
ball-rooms, I suppose that some such stuff as that which follows would be written of us:—

“ At first a slight degree of bashfulness was apparent on the part of the young people of both sexes ; but
as the ball progressed this gradually wore off, and the officers to their no small satisfaction had the pleasure
of dancing with any lady in the room ou whom they chose to fasten an inclination. * * English formality

and restraint gave way before the winsome manners of the young divinities, and the ball rolled on to the
accompaniment of pleasant conversation, coquettish hallucinations, good music, plenty o£ room to dance in,
plenty of handsome partners and every other adjunct calculated to make one in such a place contented with
himself and neighbours.”

“ ‘Plenty of room to dance in ! ’ Well, I do think we might copy our Yankee cousins in
this respect; although we might not care to specify among the other benefits of having a
hig ball-room, that ‘there were no crushed corns to rise like agonised Ghosts of Banquo ’
from it.

“But there was something else besides the ‘ winsome manners of the young divinities’
which helped to dissipate the English ‘formalities’ and coldness :—

“ An admirable feature of the evening was a coffee-room, where the thirsty aud weary could retire at any
time, and without inconvenience inhale the rising incense of his Java. For the accommodation of the officers a

* We have no objection to be ealled a Pet, but we must protest against the epithet preceding. Old, indeed,
voung lady ! What do you mean by “ old ? ’ A man who lives a careful life, as every one doe3 uow-a-days,
lias quite a right to call himself “ a mere boy ” until sixty.— Punch.

private room was set apart for them under the stage,
where had been rolled in a cask of ale and several quarts
of oysters, of which the English are very fond. This was
called ‘ John Bull’s Saloon.’ In a word, every possible
effort was made by the committee to render this portion
of the entertainment especially complete, and it is need-
less to say, that their endeavours to ‘ crowd the stomach
with thrifty fare ’ met with the most complete success.”

“ ‘ Sine Bacco friget Venus,' cried my cousin
Charley to me upon reading this, and as he said
it with a chuckle, of course L tried to laugh,
although I own I don’t a bit know what he
meant by it. I suppose the smoking-room was
set apart for the use of the Americans, as of
course an English gentleman would never dream
of ‘inhaling the incense of his Java’ when he is
going to enjoy the society of ladies. And what
does the reporter mean by hinting the suspicion
that an Englishman can’t dance without the
help of beer and oysters ? If I thought my
cousin Charley needed such inducements to
make him waltz or polk with me, I declare, I
really think I’d never dance with him again! !
At least, unless he begged my pardon prettily
and vowed—Bat never mind all that: here’s
something much more interesting to you than
Cousin Charley can be

“ Whilst it is true that there were none who looked like
some of the women at the New York ball, as if they had
just emerged from a diamond shower-bath, there was a
display of jewels and jewellery that bespoke the good
taste and good sense of the wearer. Portland ladies are
celebrated for their beauty and refinement, however,
more than for any mere display of dress, and the gather-
ing on Wednesday in this respect was sufficient to have
constituted an aurora. * * One of the principal officers,
a dashing young lieutenant, made the remark that he had
seen more real genuine undiluted loveliness in the space
of half an acre, and during half an hour, than he had
lookeii upon since he left the Old Country. He realljr
thought American ladies were remarkably * amsome.’
A few minutes after this he was up to his elbows in
compliments, melting away under the delicious fascina-
tions of a terrestrial angel in blue—a process he went
through uo less than a dozen times in the course of the
evening.”

“ Fancy now the gathering in a ball-room
‘constituting an aurora.’ What poets penny-a-
liuers must be in America! Does that darling
Longfellow, I wonder, write for newspapers ?
And how true to life it is to represent a Britisii
officer as speaking of half acres of ‘ undiluted
loveliness,’ and saying of his partners that he
thought them vastly ‘ arnsome! ’ Well, it cer-
tainly is a pity our reporters, like our dancers,
are so reserved and formal; I fear that we shall
have to wait a good long while before we find the
Times announcing to the world the fascinations
of Miss Smith, or reporting the flirtations which
go on in London ball-rooms.

“ Yours, dear Mr. Punch,

“ With the very warmest interest,

“ Amelia Angelica Angelina Agnes Ann.”

“ P.S. How does a man look when he is
‘melting away’ and ‘up to his elbows in com-
pliments ? ’ Because, if it improves his looks, I
shall get Charley to practise it.”

Political Ingratitude.

Tiie Conservatives find many kind things to
say in favour of Lord'Palmerston, but not a
single flattering word do they ever say in honour
of poor Disraeli. We call this base ingratitude,
though Dis is quite strong enough to dispense
with their flattery. But really from the compli-
mentary way in which the Conservatives talk,
any stranger would naturally conclude that
Palmerston was their leader, and not Disraeli.

UNFOUNDED CALUMNY.

There is not the smallest truth in the rumour
that Mr. Sheridan Knowles has been appointed
“Professor of Allocution” to the Pope. Every
one, who hears it mentioned, is requested to
contradict it.