Punch (58.1870)

Nobody that Knows them could Doubt the Respectability of these Two Gentlemen, yet you would hardly Credit the
unnecessary panic their imaginations caused them the other nlght in the fog !

THE EDDICATION LEAGUE.

I am a British parient, my quiver musters six,

My eddication's nuffin', or—as I pronounce it—nix.

I'm a hindependent voter, and was never thought a fool,

Nor ever will I be " compulsed " to send my kids to school.

Thank goodness, I my brains with reading never can fatigue,
But still I've he«rd 'em talking of this Eddication League.
And, for a roarin' Radical, it does sound rayther odd,
When told to eddicate his brats, or else be sent to quod.

My wife she goes to Chapel—at the step I kindly wink:
Spouts at Teetotal meetings, and I bags her share o'drink.
That's my philosophy— but now with tyranny I '11 grapple,
Afore some Edification League " compulses " me to chapel.

My hinfants, whom the parsons all denounce as heathens utter,
I find get on most wonderfully in their native gutter.
The elder boys are sharp as nails, and often prigs a wipe,
Which, turned to baccy, I serenely puts into my pipe.

If this goes on much longer, it '11 be as bad as France,
And. I '11 get up a counter League for General Ignorance.
When in my family circle I send round the pipes and pewter,
Ain't that their eddication ? Ain't their Pa their Private Tutor ?

I stands for Magna Charta: and I disapprove of schools.
How would the heavy swells get on, if no one dared be fools ?
Where would the Church and Stale be, where the Army and the Navy,
If ev'ry fool amongst 'em was obliged to cry " peccavi?"

Be warned in time, my horators, quite far enough you've gone.
And, for this Eddication League, just don't you try it on ;
Or many martyrs bold like me—Pas of the Period—
Rather than send their kids to school, will live and die in quod.

The Odour of Sanctity.—Pot-pourri.

MUTATO NOMINE.

We have done away with slavery in the British Dominions.

" No slave can breathe where Victoria rules." There seems to be
one exception to the vaunt, and, strange to say, it is in Queensland of
all places. Here is Lord Belmore's account of the way free labour is
introduced into that favoured region, from the South-Sea islands:—

" A vessel goes to one of the cannibal islands, thickly populated, and under
the control if a chief. The chief wishes to reduce his population, und to
pocket the premium the trader is ready to pay for each labourer, fie calls his
people together and says, ' Here is a chance for thirty or forty of juu to
engage with this trader.' The number required go on board. They are asked
whether they are willing to go away in the vessel; they declare their willing-
ness, and the terms of the law are apparently complied with.

" But they know very well that if they refuse to go they will be killed and
eaten. No comment seems to be necessary upon this, if it is true."

We decidedly agree with Lord Belmore.

No other comment is necessary than that of Mr. Murdoch, of the
Emigration Board:—

" No authority short of the Imperial Legislature can put a stop to pro-
ceedings of this description, nor would an Act of Parliament be of much avail
unless cruisers were employed in the Polynesian Seas to carry it into effect."

Here would be a nice little job for one of Mr. Childers's " flying
squadron." John Bull would not begrudge the cost of a cruiser to put
down this kind of rascality, which is sowing the seeds in Australia of
that very curse of slavery which it has cost us, and other nations, so
much to get rid of.

Clerical Emancipation.

There is certainly one objection to the Bill about to be introduced
into the House of Commons for the relief of the clergy from their civil
disabilities. By empowering clergymen, who feel themselves unable
any longer to hold doctrines upon whose profession they were ordained,
to relinquish their orders, it will, if enacted, open a Church door to the
exit of perhaps too many of the most conscientious members of the
clerical body.