Punch (58.1870)

May 28, 1870.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

211

a King of London. We shall insist upon his being a Member of the
House of Brunswick, and a Protestant, and that he shall have no power
to create peerages in favour of his Aldermen. But Ma. Buxton has
no idea of the storm he is Brewing.

Nextly, Mr. Russell Gurnet, the Recorder, procured Second
Reading for a most excellent Bill for Protecting the Property and
Earnings of Married Women. There are 800,000 of these who are
obtaining wages ; and the law, which, as Mr. Gurney says, makes
marriage do for a woman what a conviction for felony would do,
permits a husband to take every shilling a woman has in the world.
Large employers of labour state that numerous husbands live a life of
idleness, seize their wives' earnings on the Saturday, and. spend the
money in drink and dissipation. Nor is it, among the lower class only
that such things are done, as many a poor lady, who has the gift of
teaching, can testify. If the Strong-Minded would make their Ugly
Rush for measures of this sort, it is not Mr. Punch who would help
John Bull to har the door,—in fact, he would see no ugliness in such
agitation. " Give us votes, and we'll get that,—and the rest," is the
answer of the Strong-Minded. "Rest, and be thankful," retorts
Mr. Punch " Why, you won't show yourselves capable of any real
exertion. Mr. Ruskin has just told you that if women would set
themselves, in thorough earnest, against War, no war could last a
week." May be so, or not. But when did women ever try ? Let 'em
stop one war, and we'll disfranchise ourselves, and they shall do all the
governing. Dears, excuse this digression,—the word is derived from
the Latin, digressio, a stepping away from the main subject under
consideration,—a lady can perform that little feat at times, you know,
especially when she is cornered. But bless you, generally.

Thunday. To-night the Lords had the first grand debate of the
Session ; not that it is their Lordships' fault that the Commons don't
get on with Bills, and send them up. The Peers took the Bill enabling
us to marry our Wives' Sisters, and the discussion was not infructuous,
while the result had been foreseen. Lord Houghton, in an eloquent
speech, to the preparation of which he had given the care the subject
demanded, advocated the Second Reading, and his address contained a
well-digested summary of the case of those who would alter the law.
The combative work was done by Lord Westbury and the Bishop op
Peterborough, the former being politely scornful of his old enemies
the prelates, aDd the latter retorting with a keenness that must have
pleased Lord Westbury, who likes " a foeman worthy of his steel."
The Bishop of Ripon supported the BUI, believing that the Bible con-

tained no prohibition of such marriage, and that the law was a burden
grievous to many. The Bishop of Lincoln had something to say
about, Pope Alexander the Sixth, the infamous Borgia, and made
us unhappy by suggesting a recollection of Grisi in Lucrezia. There
were several other speakers, of course; and the Lord Chancellor
delivered a severe attack upon the Society which exists for the pro-
motion of this measure. It was not, made a Government question, for
two Ministers opposed the Bill—Lord Hatherley and the Dure of
Argyll ; and one, Lord Granville, supported it. Finally, the Bill
was rejected, but only by a majority of Four—77 to 73.

A good bit in the Commons. Lord Milton asked Mr. Lowe a
question. Mr. Stansfeld was put, up to answer it. " But I asked
the Chancellor of the Exchequer," said Lord Milton. Mr.
Stansfeld went on answering; so Lord Milton took his hat, and
walked, deliberately, out of the House.

In a discussion about Mr. Edmunds, of the " Scandal," whom the
Government are pressing for money said to be due, Mr. Horsman
wished to speak in favour of the former gentleman, and therefore let
him down in the following gentle terms :—

" I blame him for his imprudence, for his folly, for his stupidity, and for
his obstinacy, still if there was nothing in his conduct intentionally, de-
signedly, and 'wilfully dishonest, I think his incarceration, is a very strong
punishment."

Friday. Lord Milton made a very proper speech, from a consti-
tutional point, of view, contending that he had a right, in common with
the rest of Parliament, to direct access to the Queen's Ministers. Mr.
Lowe explained, of course, that, no rudeness had been intended ; but
that as Mr. Stansfeld had got up the details of a troublesome
question, he had been asked to make the reply.

Then there was another AYRTON-baiting; but, to do Mr. A. justice,
he fully maintained his character as a despiser of Art, and brought
down the ^Esthetics upon him so tremendously that Mr. Gladstone
had again to throw forward his Ajax shield. The National Gallery
was the question, and we are to have a worthy one—when we can
get, it.

Sir Roundell Palmer addressed the House on the Greek tragedy,
and it, need not be said that, he did so in a manner worthy of the
occasion. Nor was the Premier's reply unsatisfactory. He desired
that the whole of the evidence should be obtained, and solemnly bound
himself to maintain the honour and dignity of the country.

A CHARITY FOR GIRLS OF FASHION.

4)/^^S^M, _ ^ course many bene-

^ Mfr.~T»p "^iA volent persons must

m ~tr\a -----——^— ^ v,. have read with
f \%r- ...^__/ interest the re-

I -^***= ported proceedings

1 scribers to the Or-

V xw^^^BP^H )/ \. ^ - ^'^c thopsedic Hospital

\ ^^^^^^M^i'^'^^^^y at the annual festi-

ve ^^^^^%^^^^^0w\ va^ 0*' ^at institu-

<ffi&T ' '^^^Bfflr ' wK tJon on Thursday

f '""^-..^ ^^BflKv., evening last at Wil-

"*\, ^HfeS^MA "— Lis's Rooms. They

s^«l|»\ wiH have been de-

">v>. N x*C^. £E lighted to learn that

/ this useful charitv

/ ^^T&T has received 1681

—-L-(1——- ^^^s^lk patients during the

"--■ / > (A'^~V ^ ^'^ik past, year, and nearly

_ / nC° ^ 50,000 since its open-

/ —"-~~__ x^ m? more than

/ J thirty years ago.

/_____ _________ S^?Jc Touching these pa-

~7 u tients a question

/_ _^^wLSi^*a*!^J^ may have presented

:/ sgg me itself to more than

^^7j=^==^^EEE^ ,■ -t- one reader. The

Chairman, in pro-
posing "Prosperity

to the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital," described it as having been "established for
the treatment of club-foot, spinal, and other deformities." Is the beneficence of
the Orthopaedic Hospital, as its name seems to imply, limited to children ? If not,
there must exist, a very wide conspiracy to spell that name wrong.

But if the Hospital, named in print Orthopaedic, puts not only club-footed and
otherwise deformed little boys and girls to rights, but adults likewise of either sex,
it might be advantageously opened to a class of sufferers who would be able to pay
for their accommodation and treatment within its walls, or whose friends could pay
for them.

The Paris Correspondent of the Post, the other day, quoted, for the benefit of

his fair readers, a prescription which a fashionable physician
in the French capital is accustomed to recommend for the
foot-disease occasioned by the practice of wearing hiah-
heeled boots and shoes. This affection is something be-
tween a dislocation and a sprain. It requires the foot to
be bandaged ; and the doctor referred to treats it with a
lotion composed of the tinctures of opium and arnica.
Pride, some say, feels no pain ; but that hath not appeared
from the demand for anodynes and sedatives occasioned by
high heels.

In London the fashion of hobbling about in the awk-
ward and ugly boots and shoes that necessitate surgery,
is quite common enough to be ridiculous in the sight of
all men, and deplorable in that of those who care enough
about girls to be vexed at seeing them spoil any of their
personal specialities. If they are enabled to continue
wearing high heels by a perversion of the healing art,
which assuages the pain of that, hideous usage, they will,
in a short, time, permanently spoil their feet by converting
a neat foot into the semblance of a neat's tongue, ready
dressed and preserved, on sale in the provision shops, if,
indeed, that sort of tongue is what it is bought, for, and
would not, if it could speak, and would speak truly, call
itself horse.

Having, by a retrogression in point of taste to the
days of Hogarth's hags, trodden their feet out of shape,
young ladies of fashion, when hoofs shall have ceased to be
fashionable, will find themselves objects who may possibly
be glad to get their deformities reduced at the Orthopaedic
Hospital.

In the meantime it, may be as well to mention, that
there are more sufferers who were born club-footed, and
otherwise distorted as to their feet, than the Orthopaedic
Hospital is able to cure, but whom it would be if it, had the
needful funds.

A ftuery with, its Answer.

" A Correspondent" asks us to tell him what "His-
tology" means. We refer him for an explanation to any
unsuccessful Dramatic author. He is sure to have known
many experts in this science.