Punch: Punch (76.1879)

58 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 8, 1879.

A PLEASANT PROSPECT."

Car-Driver {to New Agent). " Begorra, the wondher is he wasn't Shot long before—but, shure, they say, what's Iverybody's

Business is Nobody's Business ! "

A COLONIAL CORRESPONDENCE.

My Lord, Government House, Black River Settlements.

It is with, regret that I hasten to inform you of the alarm-
ing turn that affairs have taken in this Colony since the despatch of
my last communication. The hasty action of the Local Legislature
has had the result I feared, and our hitherto friendly neighbour,
Mashi-Washi-Whiski, Chief of the Borroobooloo tribe, breaking
off all further negotiations, is now crossing the frontier at five diffe-
rent points, with a picked force of 300,000 warriors. As they are
organised on the Prussian system, are supplied with Remington rifles,
nine-pounders of our own make, and the best pebble powder, the trade
in which has for some years past so gratifyingly stimulated the com-
merce of these settlements with the Mother Country, and as they took
the " sacred emetic " before starting, 1 hope, rather than expect, that
they will retire without giving us serious trouble. We have at pre-
sent only half a Company of the 97th Buffs ready to take the field.
Please send some reinforcements and advise as to what I had better do.

I have the honour to be, &c, &c.

The Right Hon. the Secretary of State for the
Colonies, Downing Street.

Sir, Colonial Office, Downing Street.

The simultaneous arrival at this Office of several equally
pressing applications from other Colonial Governors obliges me to be
brief. I am, however, happy to inform you that Her Majesty's
Government have decided to send out at once a force of 10,000 men
for the protection of the Black River Settlements. Trusting that
this, together with the local Volunteer forces, which no doubt have
been already organised, will prove sufficient for the moment,

I am, dear Sir, &c. &c.
His Excellency the Governor of the Black
River Settlements.

My Lord, Government House, Black River Settlements.

_ The troops have arrived, and it is again with regret that I
have to inform you that both their number and quality have occasioned

the most profound disappointment throughout the Black River
Settlements. The Local Legislature, representing the Colonists who
have hitherto with much firmness declined to take any steps to
defend themselves, are of opinion that at least 30,000 men should
have been despatched at this critical juncture. Moreover, they feel
acutely the absence at such a moment of all arms of the service
except the line, as they had expected a selection, at least, of the
Household troops. In stating, this I am, of course, only the
mouthpiece of the Local Legislature. But from what I hear
on all sides, it is my duty to point out to your Lordship, that if the
connection of this Colony with the Mother Country is to be main-
tained, the Home Government must show a keener regard than it
has hitherto done to the susceptibilities of the small but energetic
community among whom I have the honour to represent Her
Majesty's Government. j have the honour to be, &c, &c.

The Right Hon. the Secretary of State for the
Colonies, Downing Street.

gIE Colonial Office, Downing Street.

Her Majesty's Government, fully recognising the vast im-
portance of the connection existing between the Black River Settle-
ments and the Mother Country, have determined to despatch to those
Settlements another army of 12,000. I regret that this force will
not include Cavalry, and that the Household troops will not be re-
presented, in it, as at the present moment they are engaged on a
similar service in the islands of the South Pacific. A distinguished
Staff, however, has been placed at your disposal, and a new class
of rockets, superior in calibre to any yet employed on field ser-
vice, has been put in hand at Woolwich for the Black River
Expeditionary Force. I regret that, as they have all hitherto burst
in proving, they cannot accompany the present contingent. The
despatch of reinforcements, together with the excellent bands of the
regiments already on their way, may pacify local irritation, and
strengthen those bonds of good feeling which are of such priceless
value to the Mother Country. j have the honour to be> &Ci) &c>

His Excellency, the Governor of the Black
River Settlements.