Punch: Punch (76.1879)

March 8, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. S9

"IT'S AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NOBODY GOOD."

Scene—A Suburban Road after the last Snow.
Chorus of Small Boys. " Yer must, 'av it dun now, Mum. Tii' F'liceman's a-comin' !"

The important fact is that Sir Edmund, like Hamlet, is very sorry
that to the Keeper {Laertes) he forgot himself;—

" ' Prisons ' quis inspector
Se quoque inspectet ? "

After the Questions, the House having no other business, presum-
ably, got to the business of the House, and wasted the rest of the
evening. But Punch, not wanting to be hauled over the Commons'
coals, and having before his eyes the fear of Mr. Mitchell-Henry,
and the terrors of Privilege, is compelled to lurk, like that villain
Dolus at law, " in generalibus," and leave his readers to guess who
was busiest in doing nothing, and who worked hardest at helping him.
The upshot is that several hours were spent in the little game of
dividing over the first Resolution till between one and two, when
the other Resolutions were postponed till Thursday week.

Tuesday {Lords).—The Lord President introduced his Bill to heal
the healers, medicine the medicos, and doctor the doctors, and all the
Acts relating thereto. For nineteen licensing bodies, there will,
under this Act, be three for England, Ireland, and Scotland, with
one conjoint examining body, which may examine and grant certifi-
cates for registration, even without a diploma. This is to meet the
case of the Ladies, who can now get medical educations more easily
than medical diplomas—in fact, are at liberty to penetrate the adyta
of the Temple of ,<Esculapius as they best can, without being allowed
to ascend the steps that lead up to it.

The constitution of the Medical Council is to be referred to con-
sultation of a joint Committee of Lords and Commons. This looks
like a piece of fun on the part of the Lord President,—but the Duke
is quite serious. Fancy the Medical Council appointing a joint
Committee of the Royal Colleges of Physicians and Surgeons for
consultation on the constitution of Lords and Commons!

{.Commons.)—We are glad to learn from the Leader of the Cyclops,
Smith: of the Iron-clads, that France and England have each sent a
ship to Egyptian waters, but with no special instructions—other
than that chapter of accidents, which has been called "the Gospel of
Fools," but which has frequently to be consulted both by Diplo-
matists and Naval Captains—in the absence of special instructions.

Sir J. McKenna—amidst a chorus of disapproval—attempted to
check the flow of deposits into Bank tills, by requiring deposit
receipts with a two-shilling stamp.

Mr. Hankey protested against the House of Commons trying to
teach Bankers their business, and the Motion was withdrawn amidst
a general agreement in the principle that, as water will find its level,
so money will run where interest is offered for it.

Mr. C. Howard tried to put a spoke in the Manchester water-
wheels by interposing a dam, in the shape of a Royal Commission,
between the demands of Manchester and the domains of the Ladies
of the Lakes of Cumberland and Westmoreland._ Alas! what are
all these Ladies and their lovers to one rich and thirsty Cottonopolis ?
" Bibat Mancunium, siccentur /aews."

Messrs. Birley and Brown opposed.

Mr. Sclater-Booth said a Commission was superfluous ; that Blue
Books enough had been pumped from the lakes already: and
Messrs. Playfair, Forster, and Raikes _ ehorussed him. So the
House of Howard was fain to hide its diminished head; the Motion
was withdrawn, and the House Counted Out, more suo, at twenty
minutes past eight. Who dares say Parliament talks too much ?

Wednesday. — Ash Wednesday, appropriately devoted to the
remains of the dead.

Mr. Monk has hit upon the unhappy thought of converting the
quartette of Burial Bills into a quintette, by a Bill for the addition
of a Dissenters'patch to Cemeteries .... a sort of " Cold North's
unhallowed ground," in which Chapel may inter its dead after its
own heathenish fashion.

Mr. Forsyth supported the Bill, against which Mr. Osborne
Morgan protested as " a miserable and pitiful stop-gap and make-
shift."

Mr. Beresford Hope declared that it would be "killing the
Dissenter's pet snipe," — cutting away the (burial) ground from
under his solitary surviving grievance.

Mr. Hubbard argued that the Dissenters only wanted to get
the burial-grounds to plant in them their batteries against the
Church.

Messrs. Hibbert and Ashley, Walter and Forster, advised