Punch: Punch (76.1879)

122

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [March 22, 1879.

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

{Monday, March 10—Lords

tjssia seems to have lent us a chapter out of
her book. Our High Commissioners and
Commanders appear to have a general
authority to "Go in and win—or lose,"
as the case may be. Sir Babtle Fbebe
has been declaring war on his own hook
in South Africa; and now we learn
from Lord Cbanebook's answer to Lord
Rlpon's interpellation that General
Robebts has been annexing, on his own hook,
in the Kurram Valley. And "what for no ?"'
The Ministers of an Imperial policy have their
rights, as well as their duties—and the first is
to "go a-head." Lord Beaconsfield's " stand-
ing order " might be condensed into Hobace's
line—

" Rem bene si poteris, si non, quoeunque modo, rem."

"Push our Empire, wisely and honestly, if you can; but push it, anyhow." As Lord Nelson told his Captains, "No man can be far
wrong who lays his ship alongside an enemy," Lord B. would seem to lay down the direction, "No man can be far wrong who
quarrels with somebody, and annexes something ! "

Lord Lawbence is puzzled to understand when and where, if we go on annexing Cabulwards, we are to come to Lord B.'s " Scientific
Frontier," maintainable with a large reduction of existing forces. Nor did Lord Napieb of Magdala—who has descended from his
Pock to give Government the benefit of his Indian lights—condescend to tell him.

Lord Naples explained that henceforth we meant to defend India beyond the passes. How we were to defend its defenders he did not
explain. Perhaps the next year will show.

(Commons.)—A night with the Naval Authorities.

Mr. Go Scheie wanted to know what Mr. Smith could not tell him, Why, in our South-African need, we have not drawn on that
promptly available force, the Marines? What can the Horse-Guards, who have the bottling-off and decanting of the choicest military
port, be expected to care about empty bottles ? Mr. Smith promises the Jollies shall be the next to go to the front. That is something.
The First Lord had a pleasant piece of news, to take out the taste of his rather perfunctory answer to Mr. Goschen. Hearing of Isandula
at St. Helena, Captain Bbadshaw of the Shah at once shipped the little island's little garrison, and sailed for the Cape with them and
the Shah's own Naval Brigade of four hundred Bluejackets. Punch will not say Pshaw,—but, Bravo Bbadshaw ! to this plucky
piece of promptitude. That is helping, on your own hook—better than declaring war or annexing on it.

Mr. Samuda pleads for improvement in the position of Naval Ship-Carpenters. How about the Engineers, Mr. Sameda ? Surely, with
steam and iron coming everywhere to the front, our "Chips" can hardly hold his own with those who superintend our Stokers and
Pokers. Suppose we improved their pay and position a little ?

Mr. Vans Agnew complained of stagnation in naval promotion, which he perversely ascribed to the new and hard Retirement Rules.
These rules, no doubt, do superannuate many good and serviceable officers, and are only defensible (as Mr. Sjiltll and Mr. Childebs both
explained) on the plea that they stir, instead of stagnate, promotion. To find out how in piping times of peace to keep the tide of promo-
tion running merrily in a service whose strength must be kept equal to the strain of war, would take many Vans-loads of ingenuity.

Lord C. Bebesfobd wants more Naval Barracks, to keep paid-off men together. So does Mr. Smith, and is providing them.

Mr. Hopwood wants amendment of the Naval Discipline Act, like that we are to have of the Mutiny Act. Mr. Secretary Egeeton
does not see his way. It would not be like a Secretary of the Admiralty if he did. Why should he see his way better or further than
his masters? Though the Cat's claws have been clipped, he is still kept in the boatswain's bag; and lurks in naval minds and naval
codes, setting up his back against change, and looking fondly back to the times when there was no limit, of law or practice, to his
fleshing his claws in the backs of our A.B.'s.

Mr. Smith brought in the Navy Estimates, as Colonel Stanley did the Army Estimates the other night, to empty benches. This comes
of being so confoundedly early with things. Estimates clash with eating; and the House empties, that its Members may be filled.
Mr. Smith shows a nominal reduction of near half a million, but admits that this is without reckoning the expenses of Cape trans-
port. We may reckon ourselves lucky if we get off with last year's Eleven Millions. As it is, the figures have been kept down chiefly
by docking a thousand Marines ; about the most improvident piece of docking, as it seems to Punch, that could have been done, as a
drilled and disciplined Marine is the valuable and costly product of a special and slow training.