Punch: Punch (76.1879)

184

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI

[April 26, 1879.

QUESTIONS AND QUOTATIONS.

ince Mr. Punch has read
the ingenious Questions
and Quotations pro-
pounded weekly for
the public enlighten-
ment, he has been
fired with a laudable
ambition to contribute
his quota to so useful
a fund of instruction
and rational recrea-
tion. He has, therefore,
during the Vacation,
expended incredible
labour and research in
the preparation of a
series of interrogatories
which he now submits,
with " a light heart,"
(who said this ?) to the
family circle, the youth
of both sexes, public
and private schools, the
student in his library,
the lady of rank and
yV\~=— •r<a§sp»' —jst r*-—7~r~*— fashion in her boudoir,
16^ Or ^ ^- fellows of the Society

of Antiquaries, readers
of Notes and Queries, and, in a word, all who are treading the
"primrose path" of poetry and the belles lettres, or scaling the
sterner heights of history, geography, chronology, and general
information.

The prizes, offered as rewards to the successful competitors, will
be varied and valuable. They will include all the most recent in-
ventions in telephony, tasimetry, phonography, microphony, and
megalophony, as well as the latest novelties in Spring and Summer
costumes. They will be selected from the first factories and houses in
London, Paris, New York, and Amsterdam, and will be on view at
the Crystal and Alexandra Palaces during alternate fortnights. Due
notice will be given of their exhibition, by advertisement, and by
placards in London, on the Monument, the Duke of York's Column,
and the pillars in front of the Royal Exchange ; and in the country,
outside Town Halls, and on the School Boards which have been
kindly lent for this special occasion.

The prizes will be awarded by judges selected from the Professors
at our Universities, the Head Masters and Mistresses of our Public,
Grammar, Collegiate, and High Schools, the Athenaeum Club, and
the Committee of Privy Council on Education.

The answers to the Questions may be sent through the General
Post-Office.

Questions and Quotations,

1. Who wrote The Beggar's Petition, and what answer was re-
turned to it by the Mendicity Society ?

2. Give, this fine Spring weather, passages from the poets intro-
ducing the daisy, daffodil, violet, primrose, cowslip, and buttercup.

3. " I saw him die." These are the closing words of one of the
stanzas of an old and pathetic ballad. Supply the rest of the verse.

4. Point out the probable source (in one of our Cavalier poets) of
the following lines :—

"I could not love thee, Jane, so much,
Loved I not Jenny more."

5. Give the date and duration of the reign of King Cophetua,
both in Arabic and Roman numerals.

G. Who was it that declared that, when she died, "Servants"
would be found written on her heart ?

7. Who is the Author of the apophthegm, "Punctuality is the
thief of time" ?

8. About what period was H.R.H. Duke Humphrey giving his
recherche dinner-parties ?

9. One of the most famous characters in the masterpiece of Spanish
fiction, invokes a blessing on "the man who first invented sleep."
Who was this Man ?

10. Who is said to have had " a pair of black worsted stockings
which his maid darned so often with silk that they became at last a
pair of silk stockings " ?

1L "And one could whistle and one could sing,

The other play"-

On what instrument ?

12. Where do we find mention of Messrs. Rowley, Powley,
Gammon and Spinach:, and what was the Christian name of the
senior partner in the firm ?

13. Calculate the exact height to which the elderly female ascended

who was " tossed up in a blanket seventeen times as high as the
moon."

14. Give the latitude and longitude of the island of Barataria.
Who was its first and greatest Governor ?

15. A great orator very recently introduced in one of his speeches
this quotation—" A matchless intrepidity of face." What one
word, indicating a feature in the human countenance, would convey
exactly the same meaning ?

AN UNPEEMEDITATED DUET.

Mr. Bright at Birmingham.
Sir W. Harcourt at Sheffield.

Bright. Meeting " Brums " once again's a delight beyond measure.
Harcourt. I'm " York," and to greet brother '' Yorks " is a pleasure.
Bright. We 're assembled, of course, to pitch into the Tories.
Harcourt. Five years of bad trade, costly wars, and sham glories !
Bright. Making mischief abroad, doing nothing at home.
Harcourt. New rows from fresh quarters continually come.
Bright. That mad Prussian Bogey's at bottom of all of it.
Harcourt. Repose ? Why, we've had one perpetual row of it.
Bright. They've lowered our character, squandered our cash ;
Harcourt. Poltroons in finance, and in policy rash.
Bright. They face out bad bargains with bounce, brag, and bray,
Harcourt. These Imperial posers who can't pay their way !
Bright. Whilst blunder on blunder comes faster and faster,
Harcourt. Debt, danger, disquiet, distress, and disaster ;
Bright. The strut of a bully, the soul of a sneak ;
Harcourt. But the Jingo, like Pistol, will yet eat his leek.
Bright. Our North-African policy's nought but a do.
Harcourt. In South Africa things look exceedingly blue.
Bright. We have treated the Afghan ill, there's not a doubt of it;
Harcourt. Having entered his land, we don't see our way out of it.
Bright. As for India, at present, it's scarce worth its salt;
Harcourt. Its Government's helpless, finance all at fault.
Bright. We 're proposing to lend her two millions of money,
Harcourt. And loans, without interest, always look funny.
Bright. So our credit is lost, and our money is spent,
Harcourt. To help would-be snatchers of sixty per cent.
Bright. We are sabring or swagg'ring all over the maps,
Harcourt. To the good of no soul, save the stock-jobbing chaps.
Bright. Our thirty-four millions can't stand such a strain.
Harcourt. Peace with honour, on tick, brings nor glory, nor gain.
Bright. With blood they have stained this serene reign of peace.
Harcourt. Reshackled Roumelia, thimble-rigged Greece.
Bright. They've been foolish at home, they've been wicked abroad,
Harcourt. Ever sapping our strength, and increasing our load.
Bright. And, in fact, they are quite the worst Government out.
Harcourt. Rather in ; but their tether runs short, there 'sno doubt.
Bright. Still I wordd not assail them : you'll note I have not;
Harcourt. Though we fervently hope they may soon go to pot.
Bright. My eloquent scorn on such wind-bags why waste ?
Harcourt. Or my epigrams Attic, or rhetoric chaste ?
Bright. I '11 leave them to Heaven, to History, and you '
Harcourt. Let the Nation decide, as 'twill speedily do !

THE MAY MEETINGS.

We understand that these Annual Festivals of the various
religious Societies will not be held this year. Those who usually
play first fiddle (clerical or lay) in the Exeter Hall orchestra, in this
month of merry (May) meetings, feel that until the Scientific
Frontier in Afghanistan is settled, the Zulu War disposed of, and
the history of both forgotten, the less said for the spreading of the
Book which prohibits the removal of land-marks, stealing, or even
coveting our neighbours' goods, the better.

With regard to Africa, in particular, the case is the more awkward,
as the various Missionary Societies were on the point of combining
to dispatch a considerable relay of labourers to the recently dis-
covered vineyards in the interior of the Dark Continent. It is felt
that this is not the time to preach Christianity with effect in these
benighted regions, whether on the spot, or in Exeter Hall.

"Just the Man for 'Em."

"The Khedive has issued a decree appointing General Stone Pasha
Director of the Land Survey, vice Mr. Colvin."— Daily News Telegram,
Tuesday, April 15.

The poor Fellahs have been asking for Bread, and naturally, the
Khedive has given them a Stone.

The Btjemese Massacres, in Belee.—"Ze Roishimuse."