Punch: Punch (76.1879)

210 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 10, 1879.

PERILS OF /ESTHETIC CULTURE.

Uncle John {suddenly bursting on newly-wedded pair). "Hullo, my Turtle-Doves ! what's the bow? Not Quarrelled yet,

I trust ? "

Edwin. "Oh dear no. We've been going in for High Art, that's all."
Angelina,. "And Drawing from Casts of the Antique."

Edwin. "And Angy's Nose turns up so at the end, and she's got such a skimpy "Waist, and such a big Head, and
such tiny little Hands and Feet ! Hang it all, I thought her perfection!"

Angelina. "Yes, Uncle John; and Edwin's got a long Upper Lip, and a runaway Chin, and he c-c-can't grow a
Beard and Moustache ! Oh dear ! Oh dear ! " {With difficult]! restrains her sobs.

MR. BULL ON FREE TRADE.

The more I've to pay for my imports, the worse ;
The less, why the better, of course, for my purse.
Best of all 'twere to get them for nothing-, no doubt—
And I couldn't lose money by doing without.

If I can do without them, perhaps 'twould be well
Not to buy goods at all where in turn I can't sell.
Prohibition's mere thrift; I save all I don't spend,
Though I mayn't force my neighbour his tariff to mend.

But suppose I can't do without this thing or that,

If I don't get it cheap as I can, 1 'm a flat.

Did I not let it into my ports duty free,

E'en Lord Bateman must own that a donkey I'd be.

He who sells me things cheap in so far does me good;
Though not doing so much as he might if he would.
Because I can't get all I want of the man,
Fools would have me refuse to get all that I can!

Trade free upon both sides beats Trade free on one;
But by half if 'tis better, half's better than none.
And who but a simpleton e'er can suppose,
That for spiting my face I would bite off my nose ?

note.

What we want for the British Drama generally is not so much
native talent as imagi-native talent.

THE REASON WHY.
{According to M. Pouyer-Quertier.)

There is a depression in French trade—
Because Civilisation is jealous.
Because M. Brassey is a farceur.

Because MM. les Anglais drink gingere-beer en malice.
Because a " treaty is the negation of liberty."
Because the consumer will not fraternally kiss the producer.
Because Frenchmen are chassis from Lestarre Squarr by " le 'igh
price."

Because the Captain of a Boulogne and Folkestone boat is un gros
Bouledogue d'Albion.

Because French Political Economists are so much trop genereux.

And, lastly, because an export trade of fifteen millions a year
with ce gros bete John Bull is a mere bagatelle that does not count.

May and her Minstrels.—A Dialogue.

Ma y to Punch. They sang the " merry month of May,"

Those utterers of false notes !
Punch to May. And what did you do ?
May to Punch. Up at once,

And caught them by the throats !

Audacious 'Arryism.—Our friend 'Arry objects to the title of
a recently-published novel, Airy Fairy Lilian. He says that he
can't imagine a fairy all over 'air, though he might an 'obgoblin.