Punch: Punch (76.1879)

244

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[May 31, 1879.

Mr. Lowe advised the O'Connor Don not to press Second Reading
now, but was all for the Bill. The University it proposed would he
very like the London University as regards government. So there
would be no jobs. (Oh, Robert, tot quefaime .') They had brought
Irish Roman Catholic students to the Secular University waters,
but they refused to drink. Let them give them what they wanted
—a reservoir of their own. It would conciliate. That was what we
all wished.

The brave Don asked Sir Stafford to give him a Government day.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer said he would if he could, but
he couldn't; and so the Debate was adjourned—doubtful when to
be resumed.

Thursday.—The Lords rose out of respect for Ascension Day.

(Commons.) — In answer to the O'Connor Don, Sir Stafford
Northcote reviewing the work before the House, showed that
the Government had only eighteen Mondays and Thursdays at their
disposal, with twenty-eight Bills to get through, and fourteen not
read a Second Time ! The best chance for his Bill would be to help
the Government to pass theirs.

The Irish Members, Mr. Sullivan at their head, stormed and
grumbled, but there was no help for it. " Works and Days " is as
good a title for the House of Commons as for Hesiod, and only

a given amount of work can be squeezed [into a certain number of
days.

Then to the least injyable feature of " Injyable Injia" — its
finances.

Mr. Stanhope brought forward his Indian Budget, making the
least of the deficits and the most of the revenue. He admitted that
Government's balance stood three Millions and a quarter on the
wrong side, and they had determined to make loth ends meet, by
reducing expenditure all round. Do what they would, however, they
could only cut down a Million—£250,000 out of the Civil Service;
£750,000 out of Public Works. As to Army they were going to in-
quire how much could be saved—and as to Home Charges, the only
margin for saving by the Secretary of State was £275,000. They
meant further to reduce the limit of borrowing power from ten
Millions to five.

Mr. Fawcett Mr. Laing, and Mr. Gladstone—the biggest wigs
on Indian Finance—expressed their satisfaction that the regime of
economy had set in, and recommended the future of India to its
saving grace.

Mr. Fawcett withdrew his Resolutions, as superfluous, in the face
of the Government admission of his allegations and its anticipation
of his recommendations.

INJYABLE INJIA;

or, notes and sketches of a specially-commissioned artist.

By FUZZELI PR1NCEPS.

After the Concert, cakes were handed round by Bunnee Sing, the
Indian confectioner.

Next Day.—Visited ancient Gnutkrakkur (the City of the Shells),
which is governed by an old Colonel. A most artistic spot. Every-
where about one sees huge blocks. On all of them I drew. When
I had finished, Billih Dho—who is known here as '' The Complete
Chapter X. Letter-Writer," and one of the richest natives, suspected of having

Pickles—Painting—Labels—Sketch—Fallals—Joke—No Bargain— \ enriched himself through his extraordinary facility in imitating
Afternoon — Concert — Music—Muttra—Cakes—What next — handwritings —came up and asked me " what I was going to copy
Blocks—Billih — Letter— Copy — Paint— Friendship — Arew next?" Of course, when he said "copy," he meant "paint"
Portrait — Big Swell — Tippoo — Situation — Thrilling — Bad pictures, as all mine are original. But I was down on him.
Language—Escape. " ' Copy !' I returned. "Billih Dho, my old boy, I'm going to

Ordered a whole box of Injian pickles at Chilli and Swallah's, COg;looked suspiciously at me, and I went on :-

the great Anglo-Injian pickle merchants. Friends m England can „ y j, V ^ ^ and make m „

give me a few commissions for pickles, and they shaU have the real H ^mWe| bust pretending to smile, asked nervously, "How? "

thing hot and hot. Chilli and Swallah have made a fortune. ,« < H , ? repeated. " Why, by drawing."

Which is better-Pickles or Pamting ? To quote the Injian proverb „ Q thege u ^ ? „ h asked%tiiL nervously.

m which there is much truth Let who will write the labels, I '11 „ N Billih, my old boy, not on these blocks, but on your bank."

"e >P m 1 Ti !All*T' 1 w7ld.father ™te "labels " than R& ^ d jjj and J^Qst MM

libels. My lahelswiU always describe exactly the article within. E { \u Billih Dho and myself have been on the best

And my motto, . The greater he Truth the greater the Label." . terms> Short recionings establish lengthy friendships. Knowledge

^.-Commission .for Chilli and. Swallah.to do a pictorial | { „ nde „_as\ said to Bjxlih, slily-" vide Copy-Book*

advertisement for their new pickle, which is called " Our Own Par
Tiklah." Here is my sketch for the label or bottle, which is quite

one of the best things in
—this line I've ever done.
r / . (N.B.—Orders punctually

/ \ . v „' :n attended to.)

(L jj^PPlIlli i V (ornaments for young La-

l ^^fl$jkg£$^ J dies of my acquaintance)

^ this morning atthe Bazaar.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^.5 WHATlWANT^ MlBHOY, who

^(m7//JJJijT^6^^^^^^^\ ' ■ N chase and make it his own,
y'vfmtlln\^^^^m N orevenhireit.

Joke too good for me,"
Our own Par Tiklah. he said, winking slily.

(N.B.—None Genuine unless in our "Let you have it cheap,
own Bare Jar.) Mlbhoy," said I, ready to

clench the bargain.
" No, no," he replied, "joke too good. You keep joke all to self.
No want joke me. No. Got 'nother joke—own joke. Keep it self."

And he chuckled and winked till I thought he'd have had a fit.
. Afternoon—Concert at HullaH Shah's. Raymifa Doo sang out
like Lablache in his best days. Zenana Solfa is one of the brightest
soprani I've ever heard. Hullah Shah got it all up himself, and
directed the choir, which consisted of twenty-four choristers dressed
in twenty-four sheets. There are always as many as this in Hullah
Shah's choir. Khanim Singh was in excellent voice; and Hullah
Balloo Shah, a relation of Hullah Shah's, came out as triumph-
antly as the last trump in an Injian Rubber.

The only fellow who wasn't pleased with the entertainment was
Muttra, who sat apart, and looked as sulky as an elephant that has
lost its trunk at a railway station.

He shook

Invited to paint old Rajah Ral Tippoo Toppee Suar. Khussan
Surwaggarah, no end of a blazing swell. He wants his portrait
done for his own private collection. I found him in his palace, sur-
rounded by his Royal Black Guards, all armed to the teeth.

I was politeness itself to the old scoundrel. I say scoundrel now,
though no one will understand the justice of the appellation on see-
ing the portrait which is hanging up in his marble halls—an in-
valuable work—though a trifle injured by an accident which I am
about to recount—and well worth the while of any picture-dealer, or

Art - speculator, to take a
journey to Ral Tippoo Top-
pee's Court, and make him
an offer. Here is the first
sketch of—

This Style, 500 Guineas.

"Five hundred guinea
doose large sum," observed
Tippoo Toppee, only he
didn't say doose, but some-
thing much stronger. Doose
is a very mild version indeed.
In fact, to speak truth, as I
can now, I never came across
such a thundering, swear-
ing, wicked old reprobate as
Tippoo Toppee, and be
blowed to him. He's got
the best picture I ever
painted in all my life hang-
ing in his gallery, and ex-
hibited at a rupee a head,
while I got nothing for it,
" except," as Hamlet says-
" except my life, except my
life, except my life."

As a painting, the exhi-
bition of that work of Art
ought to make my reputation