Punch: Punch (76.1879)

June 21, 1879.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 279

"THE SOLDIER'S TEAR."—Old Song.

Officer (to Royal Marine who has just been inspected to go to Zululand). " "What's that Man crying for ? What are yoti crying
for, Sir ?"

Joe. " Boo-hoo ! Wha's the good o' goin' now ! ? We ought to 'a' gone a Year ago ! !" [Exit, sobbing, to the Canteen.

Mr. Bourse told Sir T. Campbell that the Sultan is going to
submit the reorganisation of his European provinces, not taken in
and done for at Berlin, to local commissioners. This is by Sir H.
Layard's advice—excellent advice, but like good physic, of no use
till taken. Punch quotes Portia:—"If to do were as easy as to
know what were good to do! "

By half-past four the House was in Committee of Supply, and
remained there, with very small progress to a great deal of prosing,
for the best part of the night. One Vote, that on Scotch Prisons,
took two hours and a half, and Mr. Parnell Divided 4 to 152
against the salary of a Scripture Header at Perth I De minimis, si
non curat lex, curant legislatores. All the opposed Irish Yotes
were postponed after a wrangle, and Progress was reported after one
Vote for salaries and superannuation allowances had been disposed
of. With this tale of talk and work and the formal forwarding of a
Law Bill a stage, the House was busy till close on three in the morn-
ing. _ " Sedet (sternumque sedebit, infelix." Like Juliet, it speaks
but it says nothing, and does the same, and it is not like the sailor's
voiceless parrot—it does not think the more.

Tuesday.—A Morning Sitting.

Colonel Gourley (Volunteer) wants to know what the inquiry
on Army Organisation is to inquire into, and who are to be the
inquirers.

Colonel Stanley tells him the inquiry is to be into the working of
Short Service, the Reserves, and the Localisation-scheme. It is to be
conducted by a Committee—not a Royal Commission—of regular
officers, having nothing to do with "War-Office or Horse Guards.

Sir H. Havelock condemned the composition of the Committee in
advance. So did Sir A. Cordon. It will satisfy neither the Army
nor the Public. (Query per Punch. What will f)

Then the House was delivered of a deal of '' skimble skamble
stuff," on the subject of Army Organisation, in which Mr. Holms
(of course), Sir G. Campbell, who must have his tongue in any talk
that is going, and Mr. Stormy Petrel Parnell took part.

At last, seeing the night wearing on in idle chatter—with the
Session on the wing, and business all in arrear—the Chancellor of

the Exchequer broke out into a wail of unwonted vigour, declaring
it impossible for Parliament to get on with its work in the face of
such fearful waste of wind—" which nobody will deny."

Biddulph "reigns in Cyprus; " if anybody (exceptthe Biddulph
connection), particularly cares to know.

The House spent the rest of the sitting on one (the Punishment)
Clause—the Cat's Clause, it may be called—of the Army Regulation
Bill, with some hundred and fifty other clauses waiting.

Mr. Hopwood wants to limit lashes to six, which, multiplied by
the cat's tails, come to fifty-four.

The House was still talking about this when the hour of adjourn-
ment came.

In the Evening Sitting, Mr. Reginald Yorke moved a Resolution
to muzzle the London School Board. It is doing too muchgoing
too fast; rating too high ; teaching too many things; _ hunting up
too many scholars ; building too handsome schools ; paying too high
salaries ; in fact, altogether taking too much upon itself, and out of
the pockets of the rate-payers.

Bravo, Mr. Yorke ! If we are to believe you, the Board has
crushed the ragged-schools; is extinguishing the voluntary schools ;
is stamping out the middle-class schools ; is travelling out of the
region of the three R's; is defying the Education Department, and
generally outrunning the constable all over the place. Altogether,
the London School Board, in Mr. Yorke's eyes, is displaying a dis-
gusting activity, and is actually costing the rate-payers fivepence in
the pound ! Its rate ought to be kept down to tuppence.

Mr. W. E. Forster, as the Board's foster-father, took up the
cudgels for his forsterling. If the Board was spending too much,
was it not an elected body ? Were there not the rate-payers to
stay its hands, and tie up their own purse-strings ? But, after all,
what was fippence to the aggregate of metropolitan rates, . . . and
for what other fippence of those rates was there as good a return in
value received ?

Punch agrees with Mr. Forster, that Yorke is not wanted; and
that his onslaught represents more hostility to the Board than zeal
for economy or concern for the rate-payers.