Punch: Punch (76.1879)

262

[June 21, 1879.

THE POWER OF PUBLIC OPINION.

Our Pet Critic {soothingly). "Well, I can't conscientiously | Pictor Notus. "Ha! ha! ha! You an Art-Ceitic ? "Why,

PRAISE it, old man ! but [ 'll tell you WHAT I 'll do for you i how old are you, my lad ? "

— I'll blackguard it so fearfully that lots of people Our Pet Critic (stcmly). " If you dare talk in that way to
will come forward, out of fair play, and swear it 'S the i MEj SlR, I 'll be hanged if I don t publish it, as my earnest
greatest work of genius this age has ever seen ! " conviction, that your picture is the one supreme and

Pictor Ignotus. "Thanks, my dear Boy, and eless your kind ; ceowning Masterpiece of Contemporary Art!"
Heart ! " [Appalled by the threat, Pictor subsides.

UNSEASONABLE SEASONING.

Spring. Ha ! ha ! Mv disguise, I conceive, is perfection.
Summer. Ho ! ho ! Who would recognise Summer in me ?
Spring. I leave poor mankind in the deepest dejection.
Summer. I doubt if my advent will fill 'em with glee.
Both. We've frozen 'em, drenched 'em, and cut off their sun,
Till they 're getting quite desperate. Isn't it fun ?

Spring. The Seasons ? Ha ! ha! Sounds ironical, very.
Summer. An ancient distinction that's obsolete quite !
Spring. Ho ! ho ! Why they used to consider me merry !
Summer. And I was the blooming, the balmy, the bright!
Both. But the lyres of the poets are both out of tune,

And December's no more like December than June.

Spring. Just look at my nose ! 'Tis as blue as old Winter's !
Summer. Twig my gingham and macintosh—pluvial, eh P
Spring. April showers ? I send mine in keen icy splinters.
Summer. June blossoms ? My deluge will make 'em look gay.
Both. Ha ! ha ! We 're uncommonly like one another ;
'Tis six (months) of one, half-a-dozen of 't'other !

Spring. Awful joke! Only change from Jack Frost to Aquarius !
Summer. Rare lark ! Only choice between deluge and ice !
Spring. J've wintered, you water 'em ! Hope they 're hilarious.
Summer. They look must lugubrious. Isn't it nice ?
Both. Together, alternately, Snow, Blow, and Flow

Ride what once were the Seasons. Ha! ha ! and ho ! ho !

[Left laughing, a?id be Mowed to 'e??i.'

Naughty People.—The Nihilists.

"A BERLIN!"

The following gifts, offered to the Emperor and Empress of
Germany at the recent Golden Wedding at Berlin, by some mistake
have not yet appeared in the official list of presents. From—

The Emperor of Russia.—A suit of chain-armour (to be worn
under a General's uniform), warranted dagger and bullet-proof, and
a guide-book to Siberia.

The President of the French Republic.—A Slang Dictionary, com-
piled by the members of the Corps Legislatif, and edited by M. Paul
de Cassagnac.

The Sultan of Turkey.—Contrivances for floating loans in the
event of national shipwreck.

The Khedive of Egypt—k. donkey-whip, and a patent screw
press, adapted for pressing cotton and squeezing fellahs.

Prince von Bismarck.—A patent gag, warranted to keep everybody
quiet—for a time.

The Earl of Beaconsfield.—k golden wreath. (Idea borrowed
from Tracey Turnerelli.)

The ex-Queen of Spain.—A copy of the old English air, " Darby
and Joan," arranged for the castanets.

The Prussian Press.—A pair of rose-coloured Spectacles.

Mr. ETolms, M.P.—kn Essay by himself, entitled The Military
Systems of England and Germany, from a Hackney point of view.

The German Nation.—A complete set of Good Words.

And Mr. Punch.—A ditto of good wishes.

Very Questionable.—Whoever attempts to rule the Irish Home-
Rule Party, will he ever be_other than a Butt—for all manner of
arrows, poisoned and otherwise ?