Punch: Punch (83.1882)

September 23, 1882.] PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

135

SWELL STRUGGLING WITH THE CIGARETTE POISONER.

A LITTLE HOLIDAY.

Still at Castle—Early—Speech preparing—Trying moments—The
Johnnies— Prospect— Off—Lucky chance—Meeting.

Glwanffai Castle.—Next morning. Servant, having orders to wake
us all early, does so. Happy Thought. “If I'm waking, call me
early,”—but not unless. Think he has called me too early. Reminded
of the Sluggard, “You have woke me too soon, I must slumber
again.” Why should the Sluggard have been held up to
reprobation for this ? If his charge against the person who roused
him, as he alleges, at an untimely hour was true, why blame the
Sluggard? Dr. Watts wrote the poem, I believe, and credits him-
self with the personality of the person who woke the Sluggard, and
who deserved to be rebuked for his officiousness and uncalled-for
interference.

“ ’Tis the voice of the Sluggard,

I hear him complain.”

The “I ” is clearly the Poet: the Poet was Dr. Watts, and of
what did the Sluggard complain ? It can be thus periphrased.

The Sluggard (log.) You (Dr. Watts) have woke me too soon,
confound you! Let me slumber again. Get out, or I’ll shy my
slippers at your head ! ”

And naturally exit Dr. Watts.

What is the time ? Servant replies that “ It is just on half-past-
seven : breakfast at eight, because of going to the Eisteddfod.” “Oh,
just on half-past-seven, eh ? Not quite half-past-seven ? ” “No, not
quite.” Ah! And then arrange with myself that, when it is exactly
half-past seven exactly, mind, not a second or a fraction of a second
more or less—I will get up. I will be punctual to the moment. I make
this contract silently with myself, while the man pulls up the blinds,
arranges my clothes, and bath, and boots. I am very particular
about everything being arranged ready-to-hand, as it would he
clearly a waste of time to get up, and then have to wait for any-
thing. “ Have you got everything readyI ask, with a sort of
vague hope that he will answer, “ Everything, Sir—except the boots
— or except the hot water ”—and so give me a respite. But this is
not his reply: it is simply, “Yes, Sir; everything quite ready for
you, Sir ; ” and just as he is going out, and I am beginning to allow
for the difference of clocks, and to balance the probabilities of his