Punch (90.1886)

90

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [February 20, 1886.

BLASE!

Hostess. "You are not Dancing, Mr. Lestranoe. Let me find you a Partner!"
Splendid Maslier. "A—thanks, no. I—a—ssvah Dance,—except at Children's Parties !

"THE GEE AT UNEMPLOYED."

A Sono for Scotland Yard.

Air—" The Death of Nelson."

'Twas in Trafalgar Square
We heard Sedition blare ;

Each heart was sickened then.
"We 'd scorned the foreign Reds
"Who cracked each other's heads,

But here were madder men.
Henderson marked them howl and rave,
But little heed that hero gave.

Let Roughdom smash and loot, he
Stirred not, appeared not, formed no plan.
And London owned at least one man

That day had shirked his duty.

And now the rabble roar,
And plunder as thev pour ;

No Bobbies stop the way.
London, for order famed,
Is startled, shocked, and shamed

By this disgraceful day !
Bight dearly is experience bought.
The maddened Mob surged, smashed, and
fought,

Unchecked, for drink and booty,
f rom mouth to mouth the murmur ran,

London has found a trusted man

This day has shirked his duty."
Pride feels a painful wound,
Dismay is spread around ;

Our trust has been deceived.
But shirkers must be tried,
If need be thrust aside,

Our credit be retrieved.

Policedom's honour is at stake,
Policedom from its drowse must wake ;

It guards home, wealth, age, beauty.
From Chief to youngest guardian
London must know that every man

Is equal to his duty'.

"A RADICAL SNOB."

"What did "W. M. Thackeray say about
him, which you will find in Contributions to
Punch, lately reprinted in one Volume by
Messrs. Smith and Eldee ? Says he :—

" Perhaps, after all, there is no tetter friend to
Conservatism than your outrageous Radical Snob.
When a man preaches to you that all Noblemen
are tyrants, that all Clergymen are hypocrites and
liars, that all Capitalists are scoundrels, banded
together in an infamous conspiracy to deprive the
people of their rights, he creates a wholesome re-
vulsion of feeling in favour of the abused parties,
and a sense of fair play leads the generous heart to
take a side with the object of unjust oppression.

"The frantic dwarf.....becomes a most

wicked and dangerous Snob when he gets the ear
of people more ignorant than himself, inflames
them with lies, and misleads them into ruin."

This was in 1846—just forty years ago—
and, with some slight modification, necessi-
tated by changed circumstances, what the
author of the Snob Papers said of Young
Ireland then will be found pretty true of
some of Ould Ireland's Patriots in this Year
of Grace—may it never be of dis-grace—1886.

Advice to Socialists.—Don't flaunt a red
flag before the eyes of John Bull.

SLUMMER-TIME.

"The Slummer " who goes slumming in the
Slums for the Pall-Mall Gazette—fancy a
Journal with such an aristocratic name keep-
ing Shimmers in its employ!—commenced his
last Friday's Article^ thus:—" Donning my
special night-slumming costume (which is
neither evening nor Court dress ")—here he is
wrong; surely the costume ought to be a Court
dress—a very low Court dress, also suitable
for an Alley— the Special so attired might adopt
the signature of Alley Slummer—with apolo-
gies to Mr. A. Sloper, whose gift of a Testi-
monial Picture we have not had till now any
opportunity of acknowledging. The plucky
Gentleman who does the Slumming has, we
should imagine, to take a considerable amount
of bad drink in the course of the evening,
though he only mentions two —a pint of ale,
and a eup of tea. At all events it is evident
that" One Swallow doesn't make a Slummer."
It was an interesting Article, showing that
the best allies of the Socialists are the Thieves.

A Suggestion.

Mr. Punch,

"We have Naval and Military Volun-
teers, why shouldn't there be a Corps of Police
Volunteers, well armed, drilled as regularly
as the other Volunteers r There are plenty of
the Unemployed who might serve in such a
Corps, and the discipline would do them a heap
of good. Yours, who has

One in his Eye.