Punch (90.1886)

Maech 27, 1886.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHAEIVAEI. 147

THE IRREPRESSIBLE.

Street Boy (to Cabby, in a Slock). "Look 'eke, ake you a goin' on wi' this Four-wheeler?—'r else Me an' my Friend 'll get

down an' Walk ! " [Retires hastily.

" PETER BELL " IMPROVED.

Peter was tired of being dull,

" One of the plaguy flowers I '11cull, ^

Cried he, "and see what can be m it,
"When, lo! a Lady, lithe of limb,
Appeared, and she enlightened him

In less than half a minute.

A Dame was she of high estate,
And ultra-feminine loquacity;

Her port was proud, her glance elate,

Her faith was very very great,
And so was her audacity.

She said, " Much-quoted Peter Bell,
Behold this flower of brimstone hue !
Our dear Endymion loved it well,
And none shall ring Old England's knell
Whilst to its tint we 're true."

" Dear me! " cried Petek, " can that be ?

I must indeed be very dull, for
I really really cannot see
How we shall owe security

To that faint blob of sulphur."

" Oh, Petek, Petek ! " cried the Dame,
" How very right was Rydal's bard !

But I '11 explain our little game.

Then, if your heart is not aflame,
It must be awfully hard."

She told him how that yellow flower

Was poor old England's latest hope ;
The last palladium of her power,
Her shield fromRad revolt's red shower,
From Gladstone and the Pope.

She showed how Radicals would smiroh
The flag of England, swiftly, surely;

She told how our beloved Church

Was like to be left in the lurch
By Chamberlain and Morley.

She showed our fundamental laws,
Sapped by insidious pamphlets, crumb-

And champions of the Grood Old Cause
In Anarchy's devouring jaws
Precipitately tumbling.

She poured upon his shuddering soul

Disastrous news in this or that form;
111 tidings of such dismal dole
Might draw a hermit from his hole,

A Duchess to a platform.
" Good graeiousj Madam! " Peter cried,

" This really is extremely shocking.
How are you going to provide
Against the ghouls in spectral tide

Around your country flocking ? "

" Oh, Petek, Peter, are you blind ? " _

She cried. "Those spectres crowd m
dim rows,
And menace us ; but never mind :
Thanks to Endymion, we shall find

Salvation in the Primrose ! "
"Well, well. Friend Wordsworth's
observation "

(Thus mused our philosophic Peter)
" Caused me much mental tribulation.
But now I 've got an explanation,

And what could be completer ?

"A primrose by a river's brim,
Or, better, at a lady's breast,

Henceforth will make my spirit swim
By adumbrations vast, though dim,
And. scarce to be exprest!

And Petek, though wild rumours float

That he is still a " stupid party,"
Now wears the Primrose in his coat,
And yields to it, by speech and vote,
Allegiance true and hearty.

PHOTOGRAPHY EXTRAORDINARY

The following appears in the Photographic
Neivs:—

XKJANTED, Lessons in Out-door Photography,
YY instantaneous sea-views, and other land-
scape work. Teacher to haye apparatus, and give
the Lessons near Portland Street Station.—Address,
stating terms, &c.

We hear nowadays a f?reat deal about
"dry plates" in connection with photo-
graphy, perhaps this may be intended as a
specimen of a photographer's dry humour.
That anyone could see views instantaneously
near Portland Street (Isn't it Portland Road ?)
Station, we can readily admit. But how the
" briny" is to be photographed in that loca-
lity, unless it is sent up from Brighton in
casks, it is difficult to understand. The Ocean
is known, on the best authority, to be " the
blue, the fresh, the ever free "—but we doubt
if it will ever be free enough to reach Port-
land Road. Perchance some day we may
encounter "breakers ahead" in the Mary-
kbone Road. By the way, we did one day,
only they were " stone-breakers ahead," and
the road was "up," and. our horse was down
—and we missed the train.