Punch (34.1858)

Januakt 30, 1858.J

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

41

Man of the World. " What Rubbish all this is about Marrying on £300

a-tear ! Why, it ain't enough to Buy a Fellah Cigars

EPITHALAMIUM.

Farewell, young Royal Lady,
Ne'er may your life wax shady,
Still may your path be shiny,
All rosy—nothing spiny.

Macbeth, when, sitting stately,
You were beholding lately,
A point, which I may mention,
Perhaps won your attention :

The line of Kings, descending
From Ban quo, never ending;
I hail you the Queen Mother,
Young Bride, of such another.

May the first line long sit in
The royal seat of Britain,
On Prussia's throne the second,
From you to doomsday reckoned.

United in alliance,
May those two lines, defiance
Bid evermore to treason,
By governing with reason.

Conjoined by lasting tether,
May they both pull together.
Thus begging to address you,
1 say, with England, Bless vou !

A Joke for the Bar.

In the Court of Exchequer the other day, Mr. Baron
Martin is reported to have delivered the following
observation :—■

" We shall lose four days of the term if we do not sit on Monday,
as Thursday and Friday are devoted to error, and on Saturday we
shall be called upon to make a criminal court."

That those who shall have devoted two days to error
will have qualified themselves to constitute a criminal court
on the third, is quite conceivable, but one would think
such judges ought to try each other before presiding at
the trial of anybody else.

THE POPE'S OWN BLACKS.

The daily papers state that the Popish Shoe-Black Brigade, whose
formation Mr. Punch announced some months ago, has had a cele-
bration meeting at the Hanover Square R,ooms, whereat Cardinal
Wiseman and other distinguished Catholics attended, and the most
satisfactory account was given of the prosperity of the society and the
fidelity of the young ultramontanists.

The Report set forth that several miracles had been already wrought
in favour of a cause so dear to Pome. Among them it was mentioned
that Mr. Bowyer, M P,, the Cardinal's cross-bearer, having desirea

His Eminence then blessed several dozens of blacking-bottles which
had been placed upon the orchestra for that purpose, and polished off
the meeting with an intimation that the lads might now go out for a
jolly shine.__

THE SCOTTISH WEAKNESS.

Professor Blackie, addressing the Glasgow branch of the Educa-
tional Institute of Scotland, is reported to have told his audience
that:—

" If Scotch people do not cultivate their self-esteem a little more than they ha.ro
One Of the boys to clean his, MR. B.'s, shoes, thev were found to be SO been tbe habit of doing for the last 150 years . . that will be a very dangerous

exceedingly wet that they would take no polish. But the faithful little , thiug both for Scotland aad Britain-

Papist was not disheartened, and having whispered four Aves into his
blacking-bottle, Mr. Bowyer's shoes at the next touch shone out with
a lustre never before surpassed. Another interesting case was that of
a Protestant marine store-keeper, who, having employed the services
of one of the boys, was converted during the cleaning of his left high-
low, and immediately ran home, sent to its lawful owner a quantity of
stolen metal which he had that day bought, a great bargain, and has
become an Oratorian at Brompton. A third instance was that of a
Quaker, who had, as he confessed to the Cardinal, designed to pay a
poor little blacking-boy with a bad threepenny bit, but on searching
for it found that, not only had it slipped through a hole in his pocket
and been lost, but that his pocket-handkerchief, pocket-book, and an
abridgment of Barclay's Apology for the Quakers had miraculously
disappeared. It is needless to say that he at once saw the error of his
ways, threw his hat over Waterloo Bridge, and now swings a censer at
St. George's Cathedral, near Bedlam.

The worthy Cardinal delivered an excellent address to the boys, and
assured them that their priests would always take a deep interest in
the success of the association, for they themselves were extremely
fond of blacking, though they devoted themselves rather to the blacking
of the characters than the leather of Protestants. He encouraged
them to proceed, and though he regretted that the objects they had
chiefly to deal with were named after such enemies of the true faith as
Wellington, Bltjcher, and Albert, still they were always having a
brush with those heretics, and speedily sent them about their business.

Most men will be rather surprised to hear that the region of the
Scottish mind which has not been cultivated is the particular one of
self-esteem. Yet Professor Blackie may be right in a certain sense.
Scottish self-esteem may be very considerably too rife with fancies and
crotchets of which, perhaps, it grievously requires weeding.

FASHIONABLE AND DOMESTIC ECONOMY.

To persons about to marry on three hundred a-year, the consideration
of the subjoined advertisement may be recommended :—

"The Last Consignment of Brussels Point, which Mrs. Dash and Son.
1000, Pall Mall, have received, comprises 10 sets of Flounces, from 12 guineas the
set, and 6 Shawls and 5 Scarfs, from 0 guineas each. As these goods are to be Sold
at the fabrieant's cost price. Ladies will find this an unusual opportunity of pur-
chasing perfectly new goods at one-third under the regular prices."

We are informed of the figures from which the prices of the goods
above mentioned ascend, but of the sums to which they may rise we
are left to form a mere conjecture. That all the articles in question
are one-third cheaper than such things usually are, is a piece of intelli-
gence which those who contemplate fashion combined with frugality
in marriage, would do well to ponder, ere entering on a career whieh;
beginning at Pall-Mall, may be expected to terminate in Portugal
Street.

Vol. 3A.