Punch (34.1858)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

163

UPON ONE OF THESE CREATURES MR. RAREY'S METHOD CAN
MAKE NO IMPRESSION !

POLITICAL ADVICE GRATIS.

If the worst comes to the worst, Lord Derby, it is whispered, thinks of
going to the country. Now, if his Lordship would accept a bit of our advice, we
would dissuade him strongly from taking such a step. We cannot see that it
would be in any way approaching to the right direction. When the experiment
was tried in 1852, but very little benefit resulted from the trial; and it would
puzzle us to say on what grounds to expect that the result wouid now be different.
His Lordship might perhaps acquire some slight increase of strength, and might,
it is just possible, infuse somehow a drop or two of new blood in his system. But
the effects of such a tonic would very soou pass off, and would be wholly
insufficient to prevent his sinking.

What Lord Derby wants is something more than change of air, which is
usually the chief gain in going to the country. Change of principles we think
wouid do him much more good; and for this he should °;o througli a course of
alterative medicine. If we were honoured with the post of his political physician,
we should prescribe him some strong purgatives to drive out by degrees all his
party prejudices. If cured of his Conservatism, he would very speedily begin to

pick up strength. If his Lordship would but take more kindly to the Jews, and L VLJN-riAJNl)EI> J UbIIUrL

make his mind up like a man to swallow a Reform pill without waiting till next j LoBD Clarendon wished to go round about the bush.
Session, we think the chance of his political demise would be much lessened In Mb_ Erskine preferred going slap through it. Lord
the exceedingly weak state to which his Lordship is reduced, it will, not. do to i Clarendon wished to put his own arguments into the
put off any treatment that may strengthen him. Unless taken quite m time, a i mouth of Sardinia, without committing England to truth
tome, will prove useless. , ! and common sense on the case of the Cagliari. Mr.

It is purely out of charity we tender this advice. Our heart always yearns to ; Ea3KINE preferred committing England to truth and
succour the afflicted; and we cannot see a Premier so weak as poor Lord Derby, ! comrnon sense a]icl did it

without our bosom beating with the hope that we may help him. A good strong Therein jj^ Erskine was insubordinate, as Nelson
aose of Punch, taken once a week, would be sure to do him good, it he but put a was when he stuck Ms glass to his blind

eye, and swore

proper faith m it. In the medicine we prepare there is never any quackism he could uot see the signal of recal flying at the mast-head
inougn the mixture is our own, it can t be called a nostrum. In all political Qj ^ ^miral commanding him

diseases Punch is now considered the only sure corrective. It is in fact the true But \{ Mr Ebskine deserves'suspension, for forgetting
elixir ot political existence. No statesman, it is clear, should ever be without it. official subordination, surely hanging would not be too bad

- for Lord Clarendon, who has sacrificed National dignity,

and the rights of British subjects.

a stout British Sailor.—Sir Charles Napier stated m the House a lew
nights ago, that " the other day he was made a full admiral." We are glad to hear
it. May his shadow never be less.

KEEP UP THE CHANNEL FLEET.

His army our Ally has made

Six hundred thousand strong,
Of that we need not feel afraid ;

Suspicion would be wrong:
Piaised fifty thousand sailors more,

True news if we repeat.
Though he may not threat England's shore,

Keep up your Channel Fleet!

A lot of new screw ships of war,

Too, he has built of late,
We need not ask what they are for,

Nor our opinion state :
Yet our own Navy to increase

It likewise will be meet:
For all the hope you have of peace,

Keep up your Channel Fleet!

All seamen under forty years,

x\re levied by our friend;
That measure need not rouse our fears,

To nothing can it tend.
But preparations also should

On our side be complete;
If you regard your country's good,

Keep up your Channel Fleet.

No naval Power has France to dread,

None menaces her coast;
What put it in her ruler's head

To swell her naval host ?
Has he been arming, Russian schemes

Of conquest to defeat ?
Though likely that, suggestion seems,

Keep up your Channel Fleet.

The Yankee Filibusters may

Have waked his anxious care,
Lest General Walker should, some day,

To land at Cherbourg, dare,
Unless a mighty force marine

Compelled him to retreat.
Still, Ministers of England's Queen,

Keep up your Channel Fleet.

Veuillot, that frenzied fool, or knave,

That minion of the Pope,
At England may but idly rave

With vain malicious hope.
He says we soou shall with " supreme

Humiliation " meet:
The brute though you an ass may deem,
Keep up your Channel Fleet.

And keep your Army up as well,

Although at some expense;
For what may chance we cannot tell

Within a few days hence.
But keep, we chiefly do beseech,

Beg, pray, implore, entreat,
Our wooden walls without a breach ;
Keep up your Channel Fleet.

Divorce.—Cutting for fresh partners.