Punch (34.1858)

January 16, j 858.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

21

A VERY GREEN-EYED MONSTER!

First Juvenile. " I wonder what can make Helen Holdfast polk with young
Albert Grig '•"

Second Ditto. "Don't you know? Why, to make me Jealous! but she had

better not go too far ! "

THE MUSIC OP NATUEE.

When we are out upon the hills,

'Tis sweet to list to rural sounds ;
A mingled noise of purling rills,

Of lowing kine, and baying hounds,
And many a small bird's mingled song

Arises from the vale below ;
Unless perchance the wind is wrong,

And from our ears the sound should blow.

We note the crowing of the cock,

We mark the steed's far distant neigh,
We hear the bleating of the flock,

And donkey after donkey bray,
All these are common notes 'tis true,

Which humble instruments produce,
Yet are they sweet to listen to ;

And there's the cackle of the goose:

The duck, too, lends her tuneful quack,

To swell the music of the vale,
The mill supplies its ceaseless clack :

Add songs that smack of too much ale,
All these are sounds remembered well,

And o'er the memory oft they ring ;
On such the Poet loves to dwell,

When he invokes the Muse to sing.

But oh ! there is one simple sound,

Amid the rustic symphony,
That never yet hath poet found,

Most sweet, most striking though it be.
It is a pleasing cry of pain,

First loud and strong, then soft and weak,
Which language to describe is vain—

The dying pig's perpetual squeak.

De Cassagnac on Decorum.

BY A TRIN\ COLL. DUB. MAN.

Granier de Cassagnac,

Trench writing has a knack
Of looking as harmless as hits from a fencer ;

But, excellent Granier,

Your meaning is, darn ye,
" More power to the elbow of Buonaparte's Censor."

DIALOGUE ON THE DOUGLAS DIFFICULTY. Mr. S. Guess you 're hard to please. stranger. W all, air we to have

! more slave-states than we ve got r lhat s The question.
Mr. Punch. I don't seem quite to understand this disturbance ; Mr. P. I trust not; and that the abominable

between your President and Mr. Douglas. Can you tell me in a few
words what is its character, Mr. Slick ?
Mr. Slick. Guess I can. Buck's in a fix.

Mr. P. By Buck, if I apprehend you aright, Sir, you would indicate
the head of your republic ?

Mr. S. That's the critter. Promised Lecompton Con. should be
cverhauled.
Mr. P. Promised the gentleman what ?

Mr. S. Who on airth said gentleman ? By Kansas. 1 you old opossum)—

Mr. S. Calculate you'd better shut up. Slaves or none, we '11 always
be ready to whip you. Besides, look at your Irish, and your Jews, and
the others that you keep in abject and grinding slavery. Cock-a-
doodle-doo !
Mr. P. I am silent.

Mr. S. Wall, then. Buck's with the South, and meant to have it
all his own way in Kansas, and make a slave-state of it, but the
Kansas boys kicks, and Governor Walker (not the fillibuster, mind,

Mr. P. Promised Mr.—a—Lecompton Con that he should go to
Kansas.

Mr. S. Guess you've a brick in your hat, stranger.
Mr. P. My facetious friends, Sir, have been pleased to say there is
a brick under it.
Mr. S. 'T ain't that. Have you liquored ?
Mr. P. T never take anything before dinner.

Mr. S. More fool you. Yes, si-ree. Guess I've a kinder liking for
ye, but I don't hanker after your old world habits. Take notice, now.
Walker throws up, his dander being riz by Buck.

Mr. P. Mr. Buchanan should hang the ruffianly fillibuster.

Mr. S. Jerusalem and snakes! Don't be in such a darned hurry.
There's a brace of Walkers, and one's not t 'other.

Mr. P. 0, I beg pardon.

Mr. S. Hold hard, and grin. You see, Douglas has peeped through
the hole in the blanket, and seed a bit of light.

Mr. P. The blanket-O ! Ah ! A bit of light, eh ?

Mr. S. Spex you don't see none. We '11 begin at fust causes, and
come on promiscuous Air the great and glorious republic, the only
nation in the world where the golden eagle of liberty can wave her
alablaster wings, and scream her—

Mr. P. I know all that.

Mr. P. Really, Mr. Slick--

Mr. IS. Shut up, I tell you. Governor Walker, who was sent by
Buck to Kansas to do the work, finds it ain't to be done, says Buck
promised him that the Lecompton Constitution should be submitted to
the people, and so throws up. Buck's a wide-awake b'hoy, but
Douglas he's a wide-awaker, and he sees that to force laws_ on free
and enlightened citizens like ourn won't pay, special when a critter has
his eye on the election in 1860. So he just throws Buck over, and
there's a difficulty.

Mr. P. Mr. Douglas being, if I am right, the most influential
man in the States, his opposition to the President would be formidable.
Mr. S. That's it, reeled out uncommon fine.

Mr. P. Sir, I thank you for your explanation, and I hope that no
serious trouble will arise in the United States, for which I always
entertain the warmest regard.

Mr. S. Don't worry yourself into no sort of perspiration about that,
stranger. In a corrupt and debilitated old rotten country like yourn, a
political difficulty might bring ruin and dismay, but where a western
sun gilds the proud pinnacles of American liberty, such things air but
the wandering breezes that cool the wings of our glorious eagle, and
help him to fly still higher towards the transcendental firmament.
Will you liquor ?