DOI issue:
May 8, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16621#0191
Mat 8, 1858.J
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
183
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
onday, April 26. The Lords
could not sit, because their
master, the Earl of Der-
by, wanted to go into the
House of Commons, andhear
how his lieutenant acquitted
himself in the matter of
India. Mr. Punch proposes
to accompany his noble
friend to
The House of Commons,
where Mr.D Israeli moved
that on the following Fri-
day the Commons should
go into committee on his
Indian resolutions. He
made a long speech, and
eulogised the Derbyite
Bill (just slain), in order
to propitiate the vengeful
elephan tborough. PAL-
merston made a good deal
of rough fun of Mr. Dis-
raeli, and Mr. Gladstone
spoke much more gravely
and befittingly. It had
been arranged that there
was to be no opposition
to the motion, and there-
fore when the good speakers
were down, men went away, whereupon Mr. Mangles said to an Irish
Conservative, called Gregory,
" Gregory, remember thy swashing blow." (Romeo and Juliet.)
Gregory therefore endeavoured, in a thinned house, to get a vote to
rhe effect that there was no need for legislation. But Lord John
Russell would not stand this, and walked into Gregory like a good
one, and others coming up, the Company's servants were intimidated,
and the motion was agreed to.
Then came a small fight, in which the Government suffered its first
regular defeat. It was in a good cause, too, or at least in an effort to
undo some of the injustice of their predecessors. Lord Palmerston's
War Secretary, Panmure, had, on the close of the War, put an end to
the open competition for Cadetships in the Artillery and Engineers,
and Sir John Ramsden, his subordinate, had signed the minute. But
General Peel thought that inasmuch as young fellows had been
working to qualify themselves for the competition, on the faith of the
original announcement, they ought to have a chance; so he wanted
to postpone the abolition. Mr. Monsell proposed a motion against
the Panmure alteration, whereon Pah and some of his men went
away, afraid to stand by their own work, and others actually voted
against the Government. But it is a good thing that the motion itself
is carried.
Some Irish, to the number of 35, opposed Mr. DiSRAELi'sscheme
regarding the spirit duties, but what could 35 patriots do against 227
ferocious oppressors ? As Mr. Moore has it:
" Vain was valour, vain the flower
Of Erin in that dreadful hour
Against Ben Dizzy's whelming power.
In vain they met him, helm to helm,
Upon the threshold of the realm
He came in Hebrew pride to sway,
And with their corpses blocked his way."
The corpses, numbered by the Tellers, in no degree impeded the
tyrant's march, so got up and went off to the Reform Club for some-
thing comfortable. But, on
Tuesday, Hibernia was avenged on Judea. The Jew, who had been
lured into the stronghold of feudalism, was suddenly set upon by the
furious Barons. It was but a repetition of the fearful scene in the
last Act of Henry VI., Part III., where the helpless but spirited
Edward is before the Dukes. The Jew addressed the Peers :
Jew. I know my duty. You are all undutiful
Voluble Chelmsford, and thou, mooney Rutland,
And thou, Dungannon, Puseyite and pump,
I am your better, humbugs as ye are,
Aid thou {to Chelmsford) assailest Rothschild's right and mine.
Chelmsford. Take that, thou likeness of old Nicholas. {Stabs him.
Rutland. Bawl'st thou ? Take that, to end thy impudence.
[Stabs him.
Dungannon. And there's for twitting me with Paseyism. [Stabs him.
A Papist. O, kill me too !
Bishop of Cashel. Marry, and shall.
Lyndhurst. Hold, Cashel, hold, for you have done too much.
Their Lordships divided, and by 119 to 80, majority 39—the exact
number of the Articles of Religion—cooked the Anser Palestinus.
There was one noticeable thing in the Commons. In the matter of
a Reform Bill,
Lord Palmerston has no Reform Bill.
Lord Derby will have no Reform Bill,
Lord John Russell locks up his Reform Bill.
So a gentleman who has not been able to pick the lock of Lord John's
box (a gentleman who is therefore no Hobbs, though a Lock-King),
brought out a little Reform Bill of his own, for giving County votes
to £10 householders, and what is more, Mr. Disraeli would not
resist its introduction.
Wednesday. Another attempt was made to get our friend the British
Farmer to give an account of his farming; but the opponents of the
measure urged that the B. F. would either be too sulky to answer at
all, or too stupid to tell the truth, and therefore the Bill would be
useless. The House took this view, by 241 to 135.
Thursday. Lord Westmeath tried to pass a bill for suppressing
the organ-beasts. Some Lords who know nothing of the hardship
complained of, and can get into perfect quietness whenever they
please, objected to the measure, and procured its defeat. Lord
Lyndhurst delivered against it a speech of the same amusing but
ridiculous kind as that by which he tried to protect the Holywell
Street nuisance from Lord Campbell. Among other things he said,
that people might accustom themselves to abominable noises, and he
mentioned that he had compelled himself, in his younger days, to
endure a fiddle-player. But his Lordship may not be aware how much
injury this did to his mind, for in youth he was a very advanced Liberal,
but went over to the most determined Toryism, and only in late years
has recovered the clearness of his fine intellect. What injury may not
the cause of progress have sustained from that fiddle ? Earl Derby,
I too, came out with some claptrap on the same side, and several other
noblemen being eager to display their contempt for the feelings of the
middle class, the bill was rejected. But some such measure SHALL
be carried one of these days.
The Earl of Albemarle [by the way, there is a story about
the Earl of Albemarle. In a certain debate before the last change,
the Earl of Albemarle, not being in office, was put up as an
independent Peer, to defend the Government against the onslaught
of Lord Derby. Earl A. spoke, whereon Earl D. crossed the
House, and said, in a confidential whisper to Lord Granville, " I
say, if you haven't a better man than Albemarle to put up, I'll lend
you one." This was chivalrous, and worthy of a Stanley] presented
a petition from 12,000 maniacs from Manchester, desiring that the King
of Oude might be restored to his dominions. It would be as well it
the Manchester people would make playgrounds for their squalid
children, and consume their own smoke, before they interfere with
foreign affairs.
An Irish reason was assigned for not giving Ireland a Divorce Bill.
The English one had cost so much money. Wicklow was very rude
to Thesiger (Chelmsford) and taunted him with having been only a
short time in the House ; but Thesiger, being a gentleman, did not
retort by saying that he hoped to stay there long enough to learn to be
as great a bear as Wicklow. A Cagliari debate did not come to
much, but Lord Derby said that we were-acting in strict concurrence
with France, and meant to give Sardinia all the Moral support we
could. Mr. Punch hopes that we shall give her a little Immoral
support, if need be, in the shape of a ship's broadside directed against
Naples.
Spooner and Newdegate—well, you know what those two were
likely to do in conjunction. Mr. Walpole pooh pooh'd such bosh,
and by 210 to 155 they were whipped off the Maynooth collegians.
Where are the glories of days gone by, when Spooner could carry his
triumphant arms into that citadel of Popery ? Note, too, that he could
win this battle when the Liberals were in, but with Conservatives and
Protestants in office, he is snubbed and beaten. As Mr. Wackford
Squeers observes, " Nature ?s a rum un."
Friday. Ha, ha, ha! These noises are introductory to Mr. Punch's
statement of the fact that the Oaths Bill, deducting the Jew, was
passed by the Barons. Similar noises followed the announcement tc
the Commons.
In the Commons, divers remarks were made on the conduct ol
Mr. Edwin James in reference to the defence of Bernard, and a
subsequent exhibition at a public meeting. Mr. Walpole let down
his brother Q.C. as easily as he could, and Mr. Punch, Q.C., will not
be less good-natured.
Then began, anew, the Indian debate. Lord Harry Vane (brother
of the Duke of Cleveland) thought that nothing ought to be done,
and tried to induce the House to think with him, but could get only
57 supporters, 447 going the other way. This was a complete fusion
of parties, for our friend Pam had not 318 with him when he got leave
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
183
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
onday, April 26. The Lords
could not sit, because their
master, the Earl of Der-
by, wanted to go into the
House of Commons, andhear
how his lieutenant acquitted
himself in the matter of
India. Mr. Punch proposes
to accompany his noble
friend to
The House of Commons,
where Mr.D Israeli moved
that on the following Fri-
day the Commons should
go into committee on his
Indian resolutions. He
made a long speech, and
eulogised the Derbyite
Bill (just slain), in order
to propitiate the vengeful
elephan tborough. PAL-
merston made a good deal
of rough fun of Mr. Dis-
raeli, and Mr. Gladstone
spoke much more gravely
and befittingly. It had
been arranged that there
was to be no opposition
to the motion, and there-
fore when the good speakers
were down, men went away, whereupon Mr. Mangles said to an Irish
Conservative, called Gregory,
" Gregory, remember thy swashing blow." (Romeo and Juliet.)
Gregory therefore endeavoured, in a thinned house, to get a vote to
rhe effect that there was no need for legislation. But Lord John
Russell would not stand this, and walked into Gregory like a good
one, and others coming up, the Company's servants were intimidated,
and the motion was agreed to.
Then came a small fight, in which the Government suffered its first
regular defeat. It was in a good cause, too, or at least in an effort to
undo some of the injustice of their predecessors. Lord Palmerston's
War Secretary, Panmure, had, on the close of the War, put an end to
the open competition for Cadetships in the Artillery and Engineers,
and Sir John Ramsden, his subordinate, had signed the minute. But
General Peel thought that inasmuch as young fellows had been
working to qualify themselves for the competition, on the faith of the
original announcement, they ought to have a chance; so he wanted
to postpone the abolition. Mr. Monsell proposed a motion against
the Panmure alteration, whereon Pah and some of his men went
away, afraid to stand by their own work, and others actually voted
against the Government. But it is a good thing that the motion itself
is carried.
Some Irish, to the number of 35, opposed Mr. DiSRAELi'sscheme
regarding the spirit duties, but what could 35 patriots do against 227
ferocious oppressors ? As Mr. Moore has it:
" Vain was valour, vain the flower
Of Erin in that dreadful hour
Against Ben Dizzy's whelming power.
In vain they met him, helm to helm,
Upon the threshold of the realm
He came in Hebrew pride to sway,
And with their corpses blocked his way."
The corpses, numbered by the Tellers, in no degree impeded the
tyrant's march, so got up and went off to the Reform Club for some-
thing comfortable. But, on
Tuesday, Hibernia was avenged on Judea. The Jew, who had been
lured into the stronghold of feudalism, was suddenly set upon by the
furious Barons. It was but a repetition of the fearful scene in the
last Act of Henry VI., Part III., where the helpless but spirited
Edward is before the Dukes. The Jew addressed the Peers :
Jew. I know my duty. You are all undutiful
Voluble Chelmsford, and thou, mooney Rutland,
And thou, Dungannon, Puseyite and pump,
I am your better, humbugs as ye are,
Aid thou {to Chelmsford) assailest Rothschild's right and mine.
Chelmsford. Take that, thou likeness of old Nicholas. {Stabs him.
Rutland. Bawl'st thou ? Take that, to end thy impudence.
[Stabs him.
Dungannon. And there's for twitting me with Paseyism. [Stabs him.
A Papist. O, kill me too !
Bishop of Cashel. Marry, and shall.
Lyndhurst. Hold, Cashel, hold, for you have done too much.
Their Lordships divided, and by 119 to 80, majority 39—the exact
number of the Articles of Religion—cooked the Anser Palestinus.
There was one noticeable thing in the Commons. In the matter of
a Reform Bill,
Lord Palmerston has no Reform Bill.
Lord Derby will have no Reform Bill,
Lord John Russell locks up his Reform Bill.
So a gentleman who has not been able to pick the lock of Lord John's
box (a gentleman who is therefore no Hobbs, though a Lock-King),
brought out a little Reform Bill of his own, for giving County votes
to £10 householders, and what is more, Mr. Disraeli would not
resist its introduction.
Wednesday. Another attempt was made to get our friend the British
Farmer to give an account of his farming; but the opponents of the
measure urged that the B. F. would either be too sulky to answer at
all, or too stupid to tell the truth, and therefore the Bill would be
useless. The House took this view, by 241 to 135.
Thursday. Lord Westmeath tried to pass a bill for suppressing
the organ-beasts. Some Lords who know nothing of the hardship
complained of, and can get into perfect quietness whenever they
please, objected to the measure, and procured its defeat. Lord
Lyndhurst delivered against it a speech of the same amusing but
ridiculous kind as that by which he tried to protect the Holywell
Street nuisance from Lord Campbell. Among other things he said,
that people might accustom themselves to abominable noises, and he
mentioned that he had compelled himself, in his younger days, to
endure a fiddle-player. But his Lordship may not be aware how much
injury this did to his mind, for in youth he was a very advanced Liberal,
but went over to the most determined Toryism, and only in late years
has recovered the clearness of his fine intellect. What injury may not
the cause of progress have sustained from that fiddle ? Earl Derby,
I too, came out with some claptrap on the same side, and several other
noblemen being eager to display their contempt for the feelings of the
middle class, the bill was rejected. But some such measure SHALL
be carried one of these days.
The Earl of Albemarle [by the way, there is a story about
the Earl of Albemarle. In a certain debate before the last change,
the Earl of Albemarle, not being in office, was put up as an
independent Peer, to defend the Government against the onslaught
of Lord Derby. Earl A. spoke, whereon Earl D. crossed the
House, and said, in a confidential whisper to Lord Granville, " I
say, if you haven't a better man than Albemarle to put up, I'll lend
you one." This was chivalrous, and worthy of a Stanley] presented
a petition from 12,000 maniacs from Manchester, desiring that the King
of Oude might be restored to his dominions. It would be as well it
the Manchester people would make playgrounds for their squalid
children, and consume their own smoke, before they interfere with
foreign affairs.
An Irish reason was assigned for not giving Ireland a Divorce Bill.
The English one had cost so much money. Wicklow was very rude
to Thesiger (Chelmsford) and taunted him with having been only a
short time in the House ; but Thesiger, being a gentleman, did not
retort by saying that he hoped to stay there long enough to learn to be
as great a bear as Wicklow. A Cagliari debate did not come to
much, but Lord Derby said that we were-acting in strict concurrence
with France, and meant to give Sardinia all the Moral support we
could. Mr. Punch hopes that we shall give her a little Immoral
support, if need be, in the shape of a ship's broadside directed against
Naples.
Spooner and Newdegate—well, you know what those two were
likely to do in conjunction. Mr. Walpole pooh pooh'd such bosh,
and by 210 to 155 they were whipped off the Maynooth collegians.
Where are the glories of days gone by, when Spooner could carry his
triumphant arms into that citadel of Popery ? Note, too, that he could
win this battle when the Liberals were in, but with Conservatives and
Protestants in office, he is snubbed and beaten. As Mr. Wackford
Squeers observes, " Nature ?s a rum un."
Friday. Ha, ha, ha! These noises are introductory to Mr. Punch's
statement of the fact that the Oaths Bill, deducting the Jew, was
passed by the Barons. Similar noises followed the announcement tc
the Commons.
In the Commons, divers remarks were made on the conduct ol
Mr. Edwin James in reference to the defence of Bernard, and a
subsequent exhibition at a public meeting. Mr. Walpole let down
his brother Q.C. as easily as he could, and Mr. Punch, Q.C., will not
be less good-natured.
Then began, anew, the Indian debate. Lord Harry Vane (brother
of the Duke of Cleveland) thought that nothing ought to be done,
and tried to induce the House to think with him, but could get only
57 supporters, 447 going the other way. This was a complete fusion
of parties, for our friend Pam had not 318 with him when he got leave