DOI Heft:
May 1, 1858
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16621#0181
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
173
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT
the Duke of Norfolk, in
Shakspeare's meritorious
play of Richard II, is de-
To dwell in solemn shades of
endless night."
It is to be regretted that
the present representative
of the name does the same
thing, and instead of looking
at matters by the light of
good English sense, shuts
himself up in a Popish at-
mosphere which very con-
siderably spoils his eye-
sight. Else, he would not
have given way to terrors
lest the Commissioners of
the Patriotic Eund should
misuse that noble fund
raised for the benefit of the
British soldiery. His Grace,
either prompted by his own pious fears for his faith, or instructed by
some of its priests, intimates that the Commissioners want to pro-
selytise. The answer was perfectly complete, and the charge can only
be excused on the ground that it is most natural that a Roman Catholic
should dread any attempt to impart real instruction to members of his
church.
Behold, tooiight came the Budget, even the Budget of Benjamin,
the son of Isaac, of the House of Israeli, and it was in this wise :—
Air.
(Mr. Benjamin Disraeli.)
I dare not touch the Income Tax,
It now must fall from Seven to Five,
Nor on the people's laden backs
Add weight, nor in their purses dive :
And yet resources must be found,
To raise, this year, four million pound.
Methinks I see a skilful plan,
Old birds are sometimes caught with chuff;
] spy a mode by which I can
Procure a million and a half.
This to the Sinking Eund is owed ;
Keep it; the Sinking Fund be blowed.
Mr. Disraeli having done the Money Trick, next reverted to the
Indian Sceptre exercise, and laid on the table fourteen Resolutions on
the India question, on which he proposes to take the opinion of the
ovpAY^Jpril 19. His^ Grace , House. They chiefly differ from the Government Bill in the mention
of that exceedingly amusing device by which gentlemen of Indian
experience were to be discovered and elected by five large English
Cities. On the second performance of a farce, a discreet stage-manager
scribed as— j cuts any clap-trap that has missed fire. The Government Bill itself is
"Turning from his country's! thrown over, whereat there hath been furious brandishing of an
Light, i Elephantine trunk.
Tuesday. The great Organ Nuisance came before their Lordships,
Lord Westmeath presenting a petition on the subject signed by 400
householders of Belgravia and Pimlico. Lord Dungannon affected
to sneer at a complaint about !£ trifles." The calibre of this Puseyistic
Lord's intellect may be gauged by his speech on the following Friday,
when he proclaimed his conviction that a clergyman who was poor
could have little influence with his flock. Yet the Puseyites claim
for their priests a direct succession from the Apostles, pastors who
were rather looked up to, though sacred history omits to mention
where Paul's Palace was, and even states that he lived in a " hired
house," and though we imagine that Barnabas would have been a
good deal astonished at the splendour of his temple in Pimlico.
Great fun in the Commons. Cox the Attorney got up a lot of names
and dates which his copying clerk had taken out of Pinnock's Catechism
of English History, and brought them forward in support of a motion
to abolish the Septennial Act and have Triangular Parliaments.
Hadeield, the other attorney, seconded him. Of course Mr. Walpole,
who happens to have been educated, tumbled the " gents " over and
over, but they would have a division, which gave 254 to 57 against
them. Mr. Punch ought to mention that Hadfield, like a rude old
dissenting country attorney, heaped epithets of abuse on the late Sir
Robert Walpole, although he was an ancestor of the Secretary
op State. In the good days, the latter would have pinked Hadfield
behind the British Museum next morning, or sent a black footman to
wop him, but Mr. Walpole only laughed.
On a discussion about Indian Railways, the impenitent Mangles
declared that it had taken two Bills and fourteen resolutions to kill
the India Company, and he did not believe its extinction was near,
even yet. It is true that the patience of Job is sometimes exhibited
by the Party who tormented him, but that Party gets his own given
him at last.
Mr. Walpole materially improved the chance of doing justice in
Galway by carrying an "instruction" to insert the Bribers as well as
the Bribed in the list of folks to be disfranchised. But why are not
the former to be prosecuted ?
A noble thought; my bosom swells.
Let's do more business in that way;
A. gallant gentleman rebels
At paying debts ; base slaves may pay,
On the Exchequer Bonds we've Two
Millions to pay—we '11 leave them due.
Does whiskey-swilling Paddy think
Longer his grog half-taxed shall flow ?
We '11 equalise upon his drink
The duties, now a cup too low.
Fagan avourneen ! Bkine astore !
This gives rne half a million more.
Wednesday. The Church Rate question made some progress, and
Mr. Bright says that the House could, had it divided, have carried
the Abolition of the Rate by a majority of 70, against Government
and the two Lords, Palmerston and Russell, who brought up their
contingents to the rescue. But Mr. Disraeli wants the matter to
stand over until the Government can settle it, a date supposed to be
remote.
Thursday. Into the House of Lords came the doomed Jew Bill, led
by the venerable Lyndhurst. Feudal treachery was displayed in
excelsis, for the measure was actually read a second time, though an
amendment to kill it in Committee is lying on the table, hid under
Lord Derby's pocket-handkerchief.
Sib Fitzroy Kelly, Attorney-General, announced that M. Ber-
nard having been acquitted of the attempt to murder the Emperor
op the French, it was not, intended to proceed against him on the
minor charge. The law-officer of the late Government taunted his
successor with his clumsiness in indicting a man on a capital charge
which it was clear could not be maintained, whereas the late officials
would only have gone in for conspiracy, and would most likely have
bagged Bernard. But all this is bosh. The Tories maintained that
it were enough, l m not the chap our j was sufficient in such cases and they turned out Palmerston
™ y°T VeX) 011 tot very Voint ■ and therefore/in mere logic, they were bound to
a 1™T ' k f > i hang Bernard if they could, as that gentleman himself must admit,
wtett wi TT :, Certain Irish priests allege that there is much destitution in Donegal,
KSJ°? Baring says twill show ftud ■ { ■ d But as everything Irish is a matter of party
Three hundred thousand pounus, or so. ^ ^as \ fight Qn fche 8Jbje(£ Mr Maguire (whom, for
My task is done, the plan I've brough*- nis laudation of Rome, the inimitable and implacable wit who writes
Can scarce excite the least demur": I from Paris to the Globe the sharpest things, except Mr. Punch's, that
Surely I've ventilated nought
To hasten our expulsion, Sir.
No windier Budget will you find
Since great Ulysses bagged the wind.
It would have been worse than cruelty to fire a shot at such a
bubble. Three ex-Chancellors, Lewis, Gladstone, and Baring, in
are embalmed in rags and lampblack—prout cuique libido est— calls
Maguirotto, after an Italian laudator of the same order) asserts that
these poor Donegalians are eating sea-weed, having nothing else to
eat. Civilisation works remarkably well, and you can get a most
beautiful dinner at the Albion, or the London Tavern, for a guinea
a head or so ; but there seems some little inequality in our social
arrangements, when one of Heaven's creatures dines off clear turtle,
dulgently applauded it, and except that an Dish member or two j lamprey au vin de Bourdeaux, vol au vent des huitres, boudins de volatile
growled mechanically at any mention of Ireland paying anything, there j a la Bechamelle, duckling, prawns, punch jelly, Charlotte a la Bohe-
was no opposition. Lord John Russell complimented his interesting 1 mienne, St. Clair pudding, dessert, live delicious wines, liqueur, and
protege on having acquitted himself so well. I coffee, chez Staples, while the other dines off a bundle of bitter sea-
173
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT
the Duke of Norfolk, in
Shakspeare's meritorious
play of Richard II, is de-
To dwell in solemn shades of
endless night."
It is to be regretted that
the present representative
of the name does the same
thing, and instead of looking
at matters by the light of
good English sense, shuts
himself up in a Popish at-
mosphere which very con-
siderably spoils his eye-
sight. Else, he would not
have given way to terrors
lest the Commissioners of
the Patriotic Eund should
misuse that noble fund
raised for the benefit of the
British soldiery. His Grace,
either prompted by his own pious fears for his faith, or instructed by
some of its priests, intimates that the Commissioners want to pro-
selytise. The answer was perfectly complete, and the charge can only
be excused on the ground that it is most natural that a Roman Catholic
should dread any attempt to impart real instruction to members of his
church.
Behold, tooiight came the Budget, even the Budget of Benjamin,
the son of Isaac, of the House of Israeli, and it was in this wise :—
Air.
(Mr. Benjamin Disraeli.)
I dare not touch the Income Tax,
It now must fall from Seven to Five,
Nor on the people's laden backs
Add weight, nor in their purses dive :
And yet resources must be found,
To raise, this year, four million pound.
Methinks I see a skilful plan,
Old birds are sometimes caught with chuff;
] spy a mode by which I can
Procure a million and a half.
This to the Sinking Eund is owed ;
Keep it; the Sinking Fund be blowed.
Mr. Disraeli having done the Money Trick, next reverted to the
Indian Sceptre exercise, and laid on the table fourteen Resolutions on
the India question, on which he proposes to take the opinion of the
ovpAY^Jpril 19. His^ Grace , House. They chiefly differ from the Government Bill in the mention
of that exceedingly amusing device by which gentlemen of Indian
experience were to be discovered and elected by five large English
Cities. On the second performance of a farce, a discreet stage-manager
scribed as— j cuts any clap-trap that has missed fire. The Government Bill itself is
"Turning from his country's! thrown over, whereat there hath been furious brandishing of an
Light, i Elephantine trunk.
Tuesday. The great Organ Nuisance came before their Lordships,
Lord Westmeath presenting a petition on the subject signed by 400
householders of Belgravia and Pimlico. Lord Dungannon affected
to sneer at a complaint about !£ trifles." The calibre of this Puseyistic
Lord's intellect may be gauged by his speech on the following Friday,
when he proclaimed his conviction that a clergyman who was poor
could have little influence with his flock. Yet the Puseyites claim
for their priests a direct succession from the Apostles, pastors who
were rather looked up to, though sacred history omits to mention
where Paul's Palace was, and even states that he lived in a " hired
house," and though we imagine that Barnabas would have been a
good deal astonished at the splendour of his temple in Pimlico.
Great fun in the Commons. Cox the Attorney got up a lot of names
and dates which his copying clerk had taken out of Pinnock's Catechism
of English History, and brought them forward in support of a motion
to abolish the Septennial Act and have Triangular Parliaments.
Hadeield, the other attorney, seconded him. Of course Mr. Walpole,
who happens to have been educated, tumbled the " gents " over and
over, but they would have a division, which gave 254 to 57 against
them. Mr. Punch ought to mention that Hadfield, like a rude old
dissenting country attorney, heaped epithets of abuse on the late Sir
Robert Walpole, although he was an ancestor of the Secretary
op State. In the good days, the latter would have pinked Hadfield
behind the British Museum next morning, or sent a black footman to
wop him, but Mr. Walpole only laughed.
On a discussion about Indian Railways, the impenitent Mangles
declared that it had taken two Bills and fourteen resolutions to kill
the India Company, and he did not believe its extinction was near,
even yet. It is true that the patience of Job is sometimes exhibited
by the Party who tormented him, but that Party gets his own given
him at last.
Mr. Walpole materially improved the chance of doing justice in
Galway by carrying an "instruction" to insert the Bribers as well as
the Bribed in the list of folks to be disfranchised. But why are not
the former to be prosecuted ?
A noble thought; my bosom swells.
Let's do more business in that way;
A. gallant gentleman rebels
At paying debts ; base slaves may pay,
On the Exchequer Bonds we've Two
Millions to pay—we '11 leave them due.
Does whiskey-swilling Paddy think
Longer his grog half-taxed shall flow ?
We '11 equalise upon his drink
The duties, now a cup too low.
Fagan avourneen ! Bkine astore !
This gives rne half a million more.
Wednesday. The Church Rate question made some progress, and
Mr. Bright says that the House could, had it divided, have carried
the Abolition of the Rate by a majority of 70, against Government
and the two Lords, Palmerston and Russell, who brought up their
contingents to the rescue. But Mr. Disraeli wants the matter to
stand over until the Government can settle it, a date supposed to be
remote.
Thursday. Into the House of Lords came the doomed Jew Bill, led
by the venerable Lyndhurst. Feudal treachery was displayed in
excelsis, for the measure was actually read a second time, though an
amendment to kill it in Committee is lying on the table, hid under
Lord Derby's pocket-handkerchief.
Sib Fitzroy Kelly, Attorney-General, announced that M. Ber-
nard having been acquitted of the attempt to murder the Emperor
op the French, it was not, intended to proceed against him on the
minor charge. The law-officer of the late Government taunted his
successor with his clumsiness in indicting a man on a capital charge
which it was clear could not be maintained, whereas the late officials
would only have gone in for conspiracy, and would most likely have
bagged Bernard. But all this is bosh. The Tories maintained that
it were enough, l m not the chap our j was sufficient in such cases and they turned out Palmerston
™ y°T VeX) 011 tot very Voint ■ and therefore/in mere logic, they were bound to
a 1™T ' k f > i hang Bernard if they could, as that gentleman himself must admit,
wtett wi TT :, Certain Irish priests allege that there is much destitution in Donegal,
KSJ°? Baring says twill show ftud ■ { ■ d But as everything Irish is a matter of party
Three hundred thousand pounus, or so. ^ ^as \ fight Qn fche 8Jbje(£ Mr Maguire (whom, for
My task is done, the plan I've brough*- nis laudation of Rome, the inimitable and implacable wit who writes
Can scarce excite the least demur": I from Paris to the Globe the sharpest things, except Mr. Punch's, that
Surely I've ventilated nought
To hasten our expulsion, Sir.
No windier Budget will you find
Since great Ulysses bagged the wind.
It would have been worse than cruelty to fire a shot at such a
bubble. Three ex-Chancellors, Lewis, Gladstone, and Baring, in
are embalmed in rags and lampblack—prout cuique libido est— calls
Maguirotto, after an Italian laudator of the same order) asserts that
these poor Donegalians are eating sea-weed, having nothing else to
eat. Civilisation works remarkably well, and you can get a most
beautiful dinner at the Albion, or the London Tavern, for a guinea
a head or so ; but there seems some little inequality in our social
arrangements, when one of Heaven's creatures dines off clear turtle,
dulgently applauded it, and except that an Dish member or two j lamprey au vin de Bourdeaux, vol au vent des huitres, boudins de volatile
growled mechanically at any mention of Ireland paying anything, there j a la Bechamelle, duckling, prawns, punch jelly, Charlotte a la Bohe-
was no opposition. Lord John Russell complimented his interesting 1 mienne, St. Clair pudding, dessert, live delicious wines, liqueur, and
protege on having acquitted himself so well. I coffee, chez Staples, while the other dines off a bundle of bitter sea-