Punch (34.1858)

122

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

I March 20, 1858.

POLITICAL GAMMON.

ought in justice to seek to do him honour. His noble act should win
him something more substantial than mere phrases of respect. We
think, if ever man deserves a statue, he does. Having fallen from his
high political estate, having patriotically descended from his "inde-
pendent niche," it should be the nation's business to set him on his
legs again—in, to say the least, a statuette of stucco.

E do not know if we are sin-
gular in feeling such sensa-
tions, but we must own, that
we have lately been both
charmed and edified by the
speeches of the Ministry upon

their several re-elections. THE GUET AMERICAN HOSS-BREAKER.
While giving us a lesson m

the art of saying nothing, in a z0ng 0> the z0tjth-west.
which we should imagine

there are few men more pro- Up in Town there's some new game they always be at;

ficient, they have blended Hast thee heerd o' the last ? If thee hastn't thee sha't.

their instruction with such There's a 'Merican chap just come 'ether across,

delicate appeals for our sym- Who they sez in dree minutes can break e'er a hoss.

pathy and succour, that we ; With his Geeho, Dobbin,

feel it would be most unmanly Come up, Dobbin,

to deny them. Their confes- Geeway Dobbin, geewup and geewo !
sion of their weakness be-

comes in fact their strength, i The name on un s Raeey, and that name a bears,

It is the old story of the un-' I s'pose, cause a dwoan't mind how much the hoss rares :

protected female. They throw themselves upon our hands in so Be that as it med, you'11 acknowledge, mayhap,

piteous a manner that we cannot find the heart to refuse them j That tins here ^1k. Kabey's a wonderful chap,

what they ask of us. However much we wish to turn a deaf ear to ! With his Geeho, Dobbin, &c.

their story, common gallantry compels us to undertake their champion-1 „„„ „ „„„__•,. , , , , ,

age. Having to say nothing on the subject of their policy, they nave ! £ hey ?ez a ca,n master> wlthof. ° er, a d°abt>

sfid it withVch perfect fpenness an! frankness, that we feel both The viciouses cretur as ever kicked out

pleased and flattered to be let into their confidence : and their revela- £Qd git* the hoss under hi will and control

tions have been made with such engaging candour that we quite Zo muc^ash^-^A^^down and roll,

disregard the fact that there is really nothing in them. WlUl hls ^eeho> bobbin, &c.

Perhaps on no point have the re-elected members been more Sitch wonders as these for a feller to do,

charmingly communicative, than in stating how it happened they jje must dealuns have had wi' the devil, says you ;

consented to take office. Not one of them, it seems, had the slightest But he '11 sell 'ee his secret, which them as be taught

wish to do so, or thought himself the right man for the place which , Says ain't to do nothun a chap didn't, ought,

had been offered him. But each felt it was his " duty," for the j With his Geeho, Dobbin, &c.
"interests of the country," to make a martyr of himself and accept

the pay for doing so. Every man in office has had office thrust upon j No drugs, they assures us, be used in his art,
him. If we may believe what has recently been told us, and we really
see no reason why we shouldn't, Lord Derby's is essentially a non-
volunteer corps. We give him every credit for having filled his ranks,

but it is clear that his recruits have cost him much cajoling. As a I With his Geeho, Dobbin, &c
sample of the way in which his press-gang went to work, take the

following pathetic tale of Me. Estcotjet :— To larn you his method he charges ten pound ;

But to keep what vou're taught to yourself vou be bound

"On Wednesday of last week I received a visit from an old friend, a member of . Ten pound, as we knows, is a purty smart sum,

the House of Commons, well known to be m the confidence of Lord Derby. He "R t fl f1 ' fl.fl 'f t'' 'f h

said, ' I come to you with, a message ; Lord. Derby desires me to ask you to accept | -DUt tile Tiling S WUtn t,lie money ll t 1s11 t a hum,

the office of President of the Poor Law Board.' i replied, ' My dear friend, it is out With a Geeho, Dobbin, &C

of the question ; it is not in my line ; I don't wish for it; there are others who will

do it quite as well, and who will be gratified and pleased by it; my part has been T '(J trig to know how to holler " Gee WOO't ? "

always to fill an independent niche in the House of Commons, and 1 cannot easily Anri Hp hiitp anv hrva<j 'nnH hp sartnn tn rln't

adopt new habits.' ' Well,' he said, ' don't give me that answer without considera- Ancl D.e sure any 00c} De sartun 10 00 i,

tion ; ought you not to look on this as a call of duty ? If you and other men who . And that none whatsomedever would tall to obey,

boast of your independence are not ready to come forward when you receive a And act what a was told if I Cried " M'ather way ! "

legitimate invitation, what right has any man upon whose shoulders lies the great With mv Geeho Dobbin &C

burden of forming a new Government to call upon others to assist him ?' I turned ' ' '

this over in my mind, and at the appointed hour I waited on my Lord Derby. He Tf , ^ -u i

repeated in very flattering terms the offer he had sent to make to me. I begged this here ME. KaEEY Wild bosses Can tame,

him to take a night to think it over and to see if he could not amend his choice. I I s'pose a Can practus On asses the Same.

put to him the reasons which appeared to me to render it desirable that he should < Jf 20 to the Commons I wish he'd rerjair

think twice on the matter, and I particularly urged on him that in Parliament my 1 j V .1 1 ■ . ■ „ , ' ,1

pride had always been to be independent of party, and that it was impossible for njla Slop llie neenawun we ZOmeiimes nears mere,

me at my period of life to change what had been habitual to me. Lord Derby's With his Lreeho, JL>oboin, &C.

answer was, ' Have you nothing else to urge in the way of objection than this?' i

'No.' 'Then,' he said, 'you are the man lor me. (Cheers.) I offer this office to -. ......-

you, and the only reason why I do so is because, looking around, I think you will
discharge the duties of it at least as well as any person 1 could name.' I, of course,
immediately put myself in his hands, and so it happens that your old friend the
country squire appears before you to-day with 'right honourable' tacked to his
name. (Cheers and a laugh.)"

Nor no mummerism and stuff o' that sart
They declares he don't punish the hoss in the least,
But works on the feelaus and sense 0' the beast,

AN ENGINEERING DIFFICULTY.

Now really, is not this a most affecting statement ? Poor dear Me.
Estcotjet ! The simple pathos of his tale goes directly to one's heart.
He gives the fullest details as to how he lost his independence.
Swallowing his modesty, he tells us all about it. We hear how he was
tempted—vainly struggled—fell! It is the old, old story. There was
the usual dose of flattery, followed by, alas ! the usual result. Would
you win the country member, freely ply him with soft sawder. The
hook was rather bare in this case we must own, and the butter it was
smeared with was not over-tempting. But in fishing for gudgeon one
needn't be too nice about the fineness of the bait. Telling a man that he's
no better than another is, to our mind, rather a left-handed kind of com-
pliment. But Me. Estcotjet belongs to the country party : and there j Palace
is no need of refinement to woo and win the rustic. Some slight
pretence of coyness was of course to be expected, but it was clear at
the first interview the shily whispered "No" would prove a "sweet
consenting" one.

Nevertheless, we cannot view Me. Estcotjet only as a victim.
To our eyes he distinctly and most radiantly shines forth as a martyr.
He has sacrificed himself upon the altar of his country, and his country

We think that the " Engineering Difficulty." which has arisen our
of the imprisonment of the two English Engineers in Naples, might be
easily put aside by a little judicious blowing-up and discreet under-
mining of Bomba's throne. Eirst of all, we would blow up that pig-
headed potentate with a few "amiable words"—and if they had no
effect, we would administer a little amiable gunpowder. Depend upon
it, the latter, tenderly administered, would have made matters perfectly
smooth again, and have brought Bomba's reason to the flatness of its
former submissive level. In engineering difficulties, there is nothing
like gunpowder. It clears away a number of minor obstructions.
The best way of letting daylight into Febdinand's obscure mind
would have been to send a British man-of-war to the Bay of Naples
to cut a tunnel, by means of cannon-shot, right through the King's

Calumny on a Cordwainer.

An unworthy son of Ceispin, wishing to ruin the proprietor of an
opposition-shop, resorted to the untradesman-like falsehood of circu-
lating a report that his rival was boot-maker to the Metropolitan
Police.