DOI issue:
March 27, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16621#0137
March 27, 1858.J
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
129
THE LAY OF THE " BRIEF."-IN CHAMBERS,
By the side of a blazing fire,
With the Times upon his knees,
A Barrister sat upon Quarter day,
Mending a pen at his ease.
Nib!—Nib !—Nib !—
In loneliness, want, and grief,
In a voice whose misery couldn't be hid.
He sang the " Song of the Brief."
" Wait, wait, wait,
In the spring when violets blow,
And wait, wait, wait,
In December's frost and snow.
It's Oh ! to be a snob,
From gentility's cares afar,
To rise and fall with the ill-bred mob,
If this is to be at the bar!
" Wait, wait, wait,
From nine o'clock till five;
And wait, wait, wait,
For clients who never arrive ;
Hale and Blackstone and Coke,
Coke and Blackstone and Hale,
Till I fall asleep and dream from the bar,
I'm a prisoner sent to gaol!
" Oh ! men, with sisters rich !
Oh ! men, with daughters and gold!
It isn't only in Pagan lands
That women are bought and sold!
Wait, wait, wait,
In loneliness, want, and grief,
Hoping in vain for a double good—
A Wife as well as a Brief!
" Why dream I of married bliss ?
That phantom of Syren wiles ;
I have no right to a woman's kiss,
No title to her smiles—
No title to her smiles,
Because I've an empty purse :
Oh! why should money a blessing earn,
And Poverty—a curse !
" Wait, wait, wait,
My patience is all in vain;
And what are its wages ? nothing to do,
And nothing at all to gain.
This dingy gown, this barbarous wig,
That only disfigures one's hair ;
A gentleman's rank : and as to the bank,
A minus for balance there !
" Wait, wait, wait,
As they wait in a calm at sea;
And wait, wait, wait,
But nobody comes to me !
Coke and Blackstone and Hale,
Hale and Blackstone and Coke,
Till tired of law, I smile no more,
At Punch's very best joke.
" Wait, wait, wait,
In the summer when roses blow,
And wait, wait, wait,
When chrysanthemums ope below ;
When down by the river side
Those pretty young maidens walk,
As if to show us their sunny locks,
And tempt us to ' come and talk.'
" Oh ! but to breathe the air
By their side under summer skies !
To watch the blush on their cheeks,
The light in their liquid eyes.
Oh ! but for one short hour,
To whisper a word of love;
To forget for a moment my wretched fate,
And the dreary prison above!
" Oh ! for a single hour!
A respite however short!
Only a walk on the grass below,
Or a friendly chat in the Court!
A walk by the river would ease my heart,
But in my lonely grief
Here must £ stay, lest the world should
say,
' That fellow has never a Brief!' "
By the side of a blazing fire,
With the Times upon his knees,
A Barrister sat on St. Valentine's day,
Mending a pen at his ea.se.
Nib!-Nib!—Nib!— _
In loneliness, want, and grief,
And still bewailing his wretched fate,
(Oh ! would he could find him a wealthy
mate !)
He sang this " Song of the Brief ! "
IPSE DIXIT.
MOOT THESE HERE PINTS.
E are always hap-' ^- Good deal has been said about the Licence of Counsel, meaning
nullius addictus
jurare in verba Magistri, especially when the reputation of another
Maestro is at stake. Our friend the Don is good enough to apprise
his pupils that " Mendelssohn composed for the nineteenth century,
and completely hit that taste for the Semi-Grand which prevails
throughout all strata of society." Here are two propositions which
the special licence issued to them to insult the lay public. But there is
another sort which some of them now take, namely, licence to puff one
another in the assize reports. If a barrister is happy enough to have a
reporter for his friend, the world is constantly informed that Mit.
Gabblewig closed a speech of preternatural acumen by a burst of un-
surpassed eloquence, that Mb. Splitstbaw's address for the defendant
was marked by the elegance of the scholar and the conscientiousness of
the Christian (how should a barrister know this ?) or that Mb. Silveb-
tongtje's reply was a mixture of merciless logic and withering sarcasm.
Is this regular ? Is it professional ? Is it not the advertisement indirect ?
Does the junior who puffs his friend expect any friendliness in return ?
Is it fair to the Counsel who have no reporting friends ? Mr. Punch
invites the attention of the bar messes to the subject. There is much
wretched folly in some of the bar rules. In order to keep the virtuous
But Mr. Punch"is advocate from the contamination of attorney society, or from the
temptation to "hug" the inferior practitioner, he is compelled to
take lodgings at assize time, and to pay, for a couple of dirty closets at
a tallow chandler's, three times the price of comfortable hotel rooms.
This is foolish enough, but folly should be consistent, and the barrister
who must not talk to one attorney in an assize town should not be
allowed to advertise to all the attorneys out of Pandemonium. And
py to receive in-
formation, how-
ever it may be
tendered, and
we never denied
that our Donnish
friend the Satur-
day Review pos-
sesses a great
deal of the article,
which it imparts
in a masterly—in
fact, schoolmas-
terly — manner
must be examined, despite that abrbs i<pa. j why does nobody ever puff the judge, qui jura dat, et causas cognoscit
That Mendelssohn composed for the nineteenth century is more whose work is far more delicate, and whose address is usually infinitely
than probable, seeing that he was born in 1809, and died in 1847 and i Detter ttian that of the counsel? Let these questions be sent round
produced all his music between those dates. Yes, upon consideration, | Wltn tlie loaded port at every bar mess m England.
we accept the Dominie's first proposition. _
But, as regards the second, we have (at great expense in cab-hire),
procured from Messes. Bboadwood, Ebabd, and other hi^h-class Singular Anachronism.
Semi^S^^^^ fift3 ^ a A f°r ]ihe Some extremely curious results of the Registrar General's expe-
thattX^T^J^r rZ^ P fe^ CentUTy4 anAb SeCTtyl ^ fences are occasionally given to the world, but one remarkable pheno
atavs^rTfr^ observed in the manufacturing districts, has not yet beer
always upon a brand proper, or, as our Allies d outre manche entitle it 1
Piano a queue.
However, of two propositions by the Don, one is true; and,
but for angering him by quoting one whose memory he hates, we
should say, with the lover in St. Cupid, " half the truth is a very good
instalment, as times go."
Slight Alteration.
It has been proposed'that in deference to the wishes of the French
Colonels, the motto of the Royal Arms of Great Britain should be
altered to " Adieu a mon droit."
oeen
recorded. An eminent Manchester authority informs us that children
who are over thirteen years of age when they have to " pass for full
time " at the Mills, are under twelve years of age when they have to
travel by Railway.
Sauce for the Goose, &c.
We have authority for stating, that it is the intention of the
Government to bring in a Bill forthwith to prohibit French subjects
from landing in Great, Britain or Ireland without being provided with
passports, to be obtained at the British Embassy in Paris only, such
passports to be issued to those only who are personally kaown to
E. M. Ambassador resident in Paris.
Von. 34. 5
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
129
THE LAY OF THE " BRIEF."-IN CHAMBERS,
By the side of a blazing fire,
With the Times upon his knees,
A Barrister sat upon Quarter day,
Mending a pen at his ease.
Nib!—Nib !—Nib !—
In loneliness, want, and grief,
In a voice whose misery couldn't be hid.
He sang the " Song of the Brief."
" Wait, wait, wait,
In the spring when violets blow,
And wait, wait, wait,
In December's frost and snow.
It's Oh ! to be a snob,
From gentility's cares afar,
To rise and fall with the ill-bred mob,
If this is to be at the bar!
" Wait, wait, wait,
From nine o'clock till five;
And wait, wait, wait,
For clients who never arrive ;
Hale and Blackstone and Coke,
Coke and Blackstone and Hale,
Till I fall asleep and dream from the bar,
I'm a prisoner sent to gaol!
" Oh ! men, with sisters rich !
Oh ! men, with daughters and gold!
It isn't only in Pagan lands
That women are bought and sold!
Wait, wait, wait,
In loneliness, want, and grief,
Hoping in vain for a double good—
A Wife as well as a Brief!
" Why dream I of married bliss ?
That phantom of Syren wiles ;
I have no right to a woman's kiss,
No title to her smiles—
No title to her smiles,
Because I've an empty purse :
Oh! why should money a blessing earn,
And Poverty—a curse !
" Wait, wait, wait,
My patience is all in vain;
And what are its wages ? nothing to do,
And nothing at all to gain.
This dingy gown, this barbarous wig,
That only disfigures one's hair ;
A gentleman's rank : and as to the bank,
A minus for balance there !
" Wait, wait, wait,
As they wait in a calm at sea;
And wait, wait, wait,
But nobody comes to me !
Coke and Blackstone and Hale,
Hale and Blackstone and Coke,
Till tired of law, I smile no more,
At Punch's very best joke.
" Wait, wait, wait,
In the summer when roses blow,
And wait, wait, wait,
When chrysanthemums ope below ;
When down by the river side
Those pretty young maidens walk,
As if to show us their sunny locks,
And tempt us to ' come and talk.'
" Oh ! but to breathe the air
By their side under summer skies !
To watch the blush on their cheeks,
The light in their liquid eyes.
Oh ! but for one short hour,
To whisper a word of love;
To forget for a moment my wretched fate,
And the dreary prison above!
" Oh ! for a single hour!
A respite however short!
Only a walk on the grass below,
Or a friendly chat in the Court!
A walk by the river would ease my heart,
But in my lonely grief
Here must £ stay, lest the world should
say,
' That fellow has never a Brief!' "
By the side of a blazing fire,
With the Times upon his knees,
A Barrister sat on St. Valentine's day,
Mending a pen at his ea.se.
Nib!-Nib!—Nib!— _
In loneliness, want, and grief,
And still bewailing his wretched fate,
(Oh ! would he could find him a wealthy
mate !)
He sang this " Song of the Brief ! "
IPSE DIXIT.
MOOT THESE HERE PINTS.
E are always hap-' ^- Good deal has been said about the Licence of Counsel, meaning
nullius addictus
jurare in verba Magistri, especially when the reputation of another
Maestro is at stake. Our friend the Don is good enough to apprise
his pupils that " Mendelssohn composed for the nineteenth century,
and completely hit that taste for the Semi-Grand which prevails
throughout all strata of society." Here are two propositions which
the special licence issued to them to insult the lay public. But there is
another sort which some of them now take, namely, licence to puff one
another in the assize reports. If a barrister is happy enough to have a
reporter for his friend, the world is constantly informed that Mit.
Gabblewig closed a speech of preternatural acumen by a burst of un-
surpassed eloquence, that Mb. Splitstbaw's address for the defendant
was marked by the elegance of the scholar and the conscientiousness of
the Christian (how should a barrister know this ?) or that Mb. Silveb-
tongtje's reply was a mixture of merciless logic and withering sarcasm.
Is this regular ? Is it professional ? Is it not the advertisement indirect ?
Does the junior who puffs his friend expect any friendliness in return ?
Is it fair to the Counsel who have no reporting friends ? Mr. Punch
invites the attention of the bar messes to the subject. There is much
wretched folly in some of the bar rules. In order to keep the virtuous
But Mr. Punch"is advocate from the contamination of attorney society, or from the
temptation to "hug" the inferior practitioner, he is compelled to
take lodgings at assize time, and to pay, for a couple of dirty closets at
a tallow chandler's, three times the price of comfortable hotel rooms.
This is foolish enough, but folly should be consistent, and the barrister
who must not talk to one attorney in an assize town should not be
allowed to advertise to all the attorneys out of Pandemonium. And
py to receive in-
formation, how-
ever it may be
tendered, and
we never denied
that our Donnish
friend the Satur-
day Review pos-
sesses a great
deal of the article,
which it imparts
in a masterly—in
fact, schoolmas-
terly — manner
must be examined, despite that abrbs i<pa. j why does nobody ever puff the judge, qui jura dat, et causas cognoscit
That Mendelssohn composed for the nineteenth century is more whose work is far more delicate, and whose address is usually infinitely
than probable, seeing that he was born in 1809, and died in 1847 and i Detter ttian that of the counsel? Let these questions be sent round
produced all his music between those dates. Yes, upon consideration, | Wltn tlie loaded port at every bar mess m England.
we accept the Dominie's first proposition. _
But, as regards the second, we have (at great expense in cab-hire),
procured from Messes. Bboadwood, Ebabd, and other hi^h-class Singular Anachronism.
Semi^S^^^^ fift3 ^ a A f°r ]ihe Some extremely curious results of the Registrar General's expe-
thattX^T^J^r rZ^ P fe^ CentUTy4 anAb SeCTtyl ^ fences are occasionally given to the world, but one remarkable pheno
atavs^rTfr^ observed in the manufacturing districts, has not yet beer
always upon a brand proper, or, as our Allies d outre manche entitle it 1
Piano a queue.
However, of two propositions by the Don, one is true; and,
but for angering him by quoting one whose memory he hates, we
should say, with the lover in St. Cupid, " half the truth is a very good
instalment, as times go."
Slight Alteration.
It has been proposed'that in deference to the wishes of the French
Colonels, the motto of the Royal Arms of Great Britain should be
altered to " Adieu a mon droit."
oeen
recorded. An eminent Manchester authority informs us that children
who are over thirteen years of age when they have to " pass for full
time " at the Mills, are under twelve years of age when they have to
travel by Railway.
Sauce for the Goose, &c.
We have authority for stating, that it is the intention of the
Government to bring in a Bill forthwith to prohibit French subjects
from landing in Great, Britain or Ireland without being provided with
passports, to be obtained at the British Embassy in Paris only, such
passports to be issued to those only who are personally kaown to
E. M. Ambassador resident in Paris.
Von. 34. 5