DOI issue:
April 10, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16621#0157
April 10, 1858/j PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 149
THE INDIAN PUZZLE.
that though he may look big, he is in reality so only at a distance.
His clothes make him loom large, but there is little to be feared in
them, so wasted are his sinews by sickness and bad living. The mam-
ht, it may be asked, does moth bones remain, but the life-flesh has been stripped off them, thanks
the Government India Bdl to fetid housing and innutritious diet. In short it will be seen that
seem to resemble a product j the animal is formidable only in the retrospect, being now so much
of Organic Chemistry ? The i reduced as to be quite past fighting.
answer is obvious. Because j " To ensure a proper notice being taken of this fact, a Government
it is a complicated matter, j official wdl officiate as showman, and at every hundred yards or so,
■ will pull up the procession and direct the crowd's attention to the
weakness ot the beast. Spectators will be asked to observe his sunken
eye and hollow pallid cheek, and to notice how laboriously he draws
Bisulphocarbonate of oxide
of ethyle and potash, and
oxychlorocarbonate of oxide
of methyle, are tangles, j his sickened breath. They will also be requested to remark how
which, however, can be un-
ravelled somehow; but the
India measure of the Mini
loosely his clothes now hang about him, and how he clearly is more fit
to go into the hospital than into active service. All this, it will be
mentioned, is the 'regulation' state which the 'regulation' treat-
stry appears to be an alto- ment is certain to produce. Want of air and exercise, overcrowded
gether inextricable jumble. I sleeping-rooms, monotony of work, and of innutritious diet, these are
So far the Bill may be said j the enemies with whom he has been fighting, and by whose combined
to be like an organic chem-! attacks he is now put hors de combat with any healthy foe. No
ical compound. But, on the foreigner need therefore stand the least in awe of him. Thanks to the
other hand, may also be pro-; good care which the authorities have taken of him, the animal, it wil
posed the question : What' be shown, is now completely harmless.
remarkable difference is " The inference thus left upon the minds of the spectators will of
there between a product of j course be strengthened by the writers of the press: from whose
unbiassed pens a full account of the procession will be ' expected'
(under pain of suspension) by Government. The propriety of giving
a strong 'leader' on the subject, pointing out the manifest defence-
Organic Chemistry and the
India Bill devised by Her
Majesty ' s Government ?
This difference, will be the reply of the philosophical politician, if he lessness of England will also, it is thought, be officially ' suggested,
is also an unscrupulous punster—that a product of Organic Chemistry and with an Editor, of course, the mildest hint will be sufficient. To
is a product of the Chemistry of the Compound Radicals, whereas those who have no guiding of popular opinion, a wink is as good as an
the new India Bill is the work of a Ministry of simple Conservatives. ! Imperial nod. Thus, without the least appearance of coercion, or in
All this may be nonsense; but thus much is certain: that Mr. Dis- ; the slightest manner Massing the free voice of the press, expression
raeli, when he introduced that wonderful scheme of legislation into will be given to the wishes of the Government, that the state of
the House of Commons at least afforded some notion, although he j English soldiers should be generally known, and that the weakness of
afforded no explanation, of what he meant by the Asiatic Mystery.
JOHN BULL IN PAEIS.
the forces of our excellent Ally should be impressed upon the mind of
every son of Mars in France. Especial care will be taken to have
plenty of these Newspapers distributed in all our military camps, and
private orders wili be given that the men who cannot read shall have
the details read aloud and thoroughly explained to them. Care will
also be observed to reprint in the same journals the soul-stirring
(An article supposed to be " communicated " by the Special Gobemouche , addresses of those brave and gallant colonels, who have lately done
of one of the Surviving Paris daily prints.) \ distinguished service to the State by the proofs they have afforded of
„ m . 7 „, ~-r, c „ their courage and good sense. Of course, if the procession, or the
We understand that as a pendant to the Show of the Bceut Gras, a : use& it is t t0> be regarded Dy our sensitive and over-touchy
Street Sight is in active preparation by the Government which will \ neighbour in the utterly preposterous light of an offence, it will b'e
quite eclipse m interest that ancient institution lhe exhibition will, easv to expiam tnat the show of le Boevf Maigre was got up solely out
be that pt the English Bceuf Maigre, or Wasted (John) Bull, repre-1 of compliment and deep lespect for England : and that if any doubtful
sented in the person of a thin and sickly guardsman : upon whose comments on it had, in over-press of business, somehow crept into our
once vigorous and healthy constitution the usual barrack treatment, Newspapers, the Emperor himself would publicly apologise (in
which is now pursued m England is m active course 01 bringing ail: Bno-iana) for the accident."
the usual effects.
" In order to ensure a perfect faithfulness to life, application has
been formally preferred to England for the temporary loan of a
guardsman for the purpose : and to remove all hesitation on the part
of the authorities, an autograph letter has been written by the
Emperor begging his good friend the Marquis op Clanricarhe \ 1 here is a certain point,
to use his influence in getting a consent to the request. There is 1 mean the soldier's joint,
therefore little doubt that England will comply with so politely urged j Whereon great misapprehension prevails
a wish. However, should she dare insult us by refusing it, the vigdant! 7 Sajr *1S on\*~ -ia
advisers of the throne of la belle France are prepared with means to Am consequently spoiled,
THE LAY OF LORD CARDIGAN.
obviate the failure of their plan. A Government commission will be
given to the Theatres to furnish a live proxy for the guardsman in
equest: and if no French supernumerary can be discovered big enough,
permission wdl be granted to dress up a lay figure in the costume of
the veritable British Bceuf Maigre.
"That the dress will in such case be faithful to the pattern, it is
very obviously needless to point out. The known fidelity with which
English habits are invariaoly presented by French actors, of course
places the success completely out of doubt. But in order to ensure a
true physical resemblance, and to make the model boddy a counterpart
to fife, it is intended to engage an 'own London Correspondent,'
under whose direction the show wdl be produced. By this means the
effects of British barrack treatment will be represented as they actually
appear: and in case it be discredited that such results are suffered,
But they tell the most ridiculous tales.
Most regiments of the line
Luxuriously dine,
For they very often club for a bake.
'Tisn't true, then, that their victuals
Are cooked in pots and kettles,
And there never was so great a mistake !
POLITICAL CHRISTIANS.
" Mk: Punch,
"What's the meanun of all this talk we hears about
'our Own Correspondent' wdl himself avouch the fact. ' I unchristianizun of the legislature? Be urn a gwaiun to turn Parlia-
It may rather swell than lessen public interest in the show, if we ! ment into a pigsty or a stable ? I doan't zee how they can unchris-
hint that we believe it wdl be got up by the Government not without
an eye to a political effect. By presenting the guardsman as he
actually appears, in the shrunk and wasted figure of this English-grown
Bceuf Maigre, there will be of course a stop put to the magnified con-
ceptions which have somehow got abroad of his stature and his
strength. A glance at the life-model, as thus got up for the occasion,! Mr. Hobees is a phdosopher—as his name wdl suggest. In sound
will be sufficient to dispel some most preposterous delusions unde;' political zoology, as in his nomenclature, living creatures are divided
which our gallant countrymen have far too long been labouring. It into Christians and dumb animals, and Christian is simply synonymous
Will be seen that there is less of substance than of show in him, and • with human being.
tianize the Houses of Lords and Commons, 'cept by turnun the
Christians out, and vdlun up their pleaces wi' dumb animals. I be:
reverend Sur, your aggericultural reader,
" Clodsdale, April, 1858. " John Hobbes."
THE INDIAN PUZZLE.
that though he may look big, he is in reality so only at a distance.
His clothes make him loom large, but there is little to be feared in
them, so wasted are his sinews by sickness and bad living. The mam-
ht, it may be asked, does moth bones remain, but the life-flesh has been stripped off them, thanks
the Government India Bdl to fetid housing and innutritious diet. In short it will be seen that
seem to resemble a product j the animal is formidable only in the retrospect, being now so much
of Organic Chemistry ? The i reduced as to be quite past fighting.
answer is obvious. Because j " To ensure a proper notice being taken of this fact, a Government
it is a complicated matter, j official wdl officiate as showman, and at every hundred yards or so,
■ will pull up the procession and direct the crowd's attention to the
weakness ot the beast. Spectators will be asked to observe his sunken
eye and hollow pallid cheek, and to notice how laboriously he draws
Bisulphocarbonate of oxide
of ethyle and potash, and
oxychlorocarbonate of oxide
of methyle, are tangles, j his sickened breath. They will also be requested to remark how
which, however, can be un-
ravelled somehow; but the
India measure of the Mini
loosely his clothes now hang about him, and how he clearly is more fit
to go into the hospital than into active service. All this, it will be
mentioned, is the 'regulation' state which the 'regulation' treat-
stry appears to be an alto- ment is certain to produce. Want of air and exercise, overcrowded
gether inextricable jumble. I sleeping-rooms, monotony of work, and of innutritious diet, these are
So far the Bill may be said j the enemies with whom he has been fighting, and by whose combined
to be like an organic chem-! attacks he is now put hors de combat with any healthy foe. No
ical compound. But, on the foreigner need therefore stand the least in awe of him. Thanks to the
other hand, may also be pro-; good care which the authorities have taken of him, the animal, it wil
posed the question : What' be shown, is now completely harmless.
remarkable difference is " The inference thus left upon the minds of the spectators will of
there between a product of j course be strengthened by the writers of the press: from whose
unbiassed pens a full account of the procession will be ' expected'
(under pain of suspension) by Government. The propriety of giving
a strong 'leader' on the subject, pointing out the manifest defence-
Organic Chemistry and the
India Bill devised by Her
Majesty ' s Government ?
This difference, will be the reply of the philosophical politician, if he lessness of England will also, it is thought, be officially ' suggested,
is also an unscrupulous punster—that a product of Organic Chemistry and with an Editor, of course, the mildest hint will be sufficient. To
is a product of the Chemistry of the Compound Radicals, whereas those who have no guiding of popular opinion, a wink is as good as an
the new India Bill is the work of a Ministry of simple Conservatives. ! Imperial nod. Thus, without the least appearance of coercion, or in
All this may be nonsense; but thus much is certain: that Mr. Dis- ; the slightest manner Massing the free voice of the press, expression
raeli, when he introduced that wonderful scheme of legislation into will be given to the wishes of the Government, that the state of
the House of Commons at least afforded some notion, although he j English soldiers should be generally known, and that the weakness of
afforded no explanation, of what he meant by the Asiatic Mystery.
JOHN BULL IN PAEIS.
the forces of our excellent Ally should be impressed upon the mind of
every son of Mars in France. Especial care will be taken to have
plenty of these Newspapers distributed in all our military camps, and
private orders wili be given that the men who cannot read shall have
the details read aloud and thoroughly explained to them. Care will
also be observed to reprint in the same journals the soul-stirring
(An article supposed to be " communicated " by the Special Gobemouche , addresses of those brave and gallant colonels, who have lately done
of one of the Surviving Paris daily prints.) \ distinguished service to the State by the proofs they have afforded of
„ m . 7 „, ~-r, c „ their courage and good sense. Of course, if the procession, or the
We understand that as a pendant to the Show of the Bceut Gras, a : use& it is t t0> be regarded Dy our sensitive and over-touchy
Street Sight is in active preparation by the Government which will \ neighbour in the utterly preposterous light of an offence, it will b'e
quite eclipse m interest that ancient institution lhe exhibition will, easv to expiam tnat the show of le Boevf Maigre was got up solely out
be that pt the English Bceuf Maigre, or Wasted (John) Bull, repre-1 of compliment and deep lespect for England : and that if any doubtful
sented in the person of a thin and sickly guardsman : upon whose comments on it had, in over-press of business, somehow crept into our
once vigorous and healthy constitution the usual barrack treatment, Newspapers, the Emperor himself would publicly apologise (in
which is now pursued m England is m active course 01 bringing ail: Bno-iana) for the accident."
the usual effects.
" In order to ensure a perfect faithfulness to life, application has
been formally preferred to England for the temporary loan of a
guardsman for the purpose : and to remove all hesitation on the part
of the authorities, an autograph letter has been written by the
Emperor begging his good friend the Marquis op Clanricarhe \ 1 here is a certain point,
to use his influence in getting a consent to the request. There is 1 mean the soldier's joint,
therefore little doubt that England will comply with so politely urged j Whereon great misapprehension prevails
a wish. However, should she dare insult us by refusing it, the vigdant! 7 Sajr *1S on\*~ -ia
advisers of the throne of la belle France are prepared with means to Am consequently spoiled,
THE LAY OF LORD CARDIGAN.
obviate the failure of their plan. A Government commission will be
given to the Theatres to furnish a live proxy for the guardsman in
equest: and if no French supernumerary can be discovered big enough,
permission wdl be granted to dress up a lay figure in the costume of
the veritable British Bceuf Maigre.
"That the dress will in such case be faithful to the pattern, it is
very obviously needless to point out. The known fidelity with which
English habits are invariaoly presented by French actors, of course
places the success completely out of doubt. But in order to ensure a
true physical resemblance, and to make the model boddy a counterpart
to fife, it is intended to engage an 'own London Correspondent,'
under whose direction the show wdl be produced. By this means the
effects of British barrack treatment will be represented as they actually
appear: and in case it be discredited that such results are suffered,
But they tell the most ridiculous tales.
Most regiments of the line
Luxuriously dine,
For they very often club for a bake.
'Tisn't true, then, that their victuals
Are cooked in pots and kettles,
And there never was so great a mistake !
POLITICAL CHRISTIANS.
" Mk: Punch,
"What's the meanun of all this talk we hears about
'our Own Correspondent' wdl himself avouch the fact. ' I unchristianizun of the legislature? Be urn a gwaiun to turn Parlia-
It may rather swell than lessen public interest in the show, if we ! ment into a pigsty or a stable ? I doan't zee how they can unchris-
hint that we believe it wdl be got up by the Government not without
an eye to a political effect. By presenting the guardsman as he
actually appears, in the shrunk and wasted figure of this English-grown
Bceuf Maigre, there will be of course a stop put to the magnified con-
ceptions which have somehow got abroad of his stature and his
strength. A glance at the life-model, as thus got up for the occasion,! Mr. Hobees is a phdosopher—as his name wdl suggest. In sound
will be sufficient to dispel some most preposterous delusions unde;' political zoology, as in his nomenclature, living creatures are divided
which our gallant countrymen have far too long been labouring. It into Christians and dumb animals, and Christian is simply synonymous
Will be seen that there is less of substance than of show in him, and • with human being.
tianize the Houses of Lords and Commons, 'cept by turnun the
Christians out, and vdlun up their pleaces wi' dumb animals. I be:
reverend Sur, your aggericultural reader,
" Clodsdale, April, 1858. " John Hobbes."