DOI Heft:
April 17, 1858
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16621#0169
April 17, 1858.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 161
DISAGREEABLE DANCING.
To the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon.
Deae Spurgeon,
" You have not been
making much noise
lately. I hope you
are quiet for some
other reason than
because you are ill
Much of your elo
quence is well aimed
heart inconsistent with the possibility that the heart could
bleed, as the poet says, for another. The idea of bleeding,
indeed, appears to have been quite remote from the imagin-
ations of the Pierettes and Pierrots, to judge by the indi-
cation of their white and ruby costume. Had they con-
sidered the colour of which the tide of public affairs has
been lately running, the ruby on the white might have
struck them as unpleasantly glaring.
" Wishing you may be shortly invited to the Tuileries to
preach on the subject of la dame, believe me, my dear
Spur&eon, « Your occasional hearerj j0HN BxJLL»
"P.S. I don't object to the regular ballet, neither need
you. Therein the women dance almost entirely alone;
and _ calculated to an^ moreover, go in for serious dancing "
convince rogues or
roguery and its ulti- ~~""- ----- - —
mate look-out, by lay-
ing down the law of
spiritual gravitation
in strong terms.
" I don't quite a-
gree with you about
dancing. Dancing is
poor exercise. You
THE TWO IMPERIAL REGIMES.
" Look on this picture and on that ! "
How must History's Muse stand aghast,
With all her proud claims to foresee men,
Now that Prance turns her freemen to serfs,
And Russia her serfs turns to freemen!
had better leap or vV ith his planting, park-making, and all,
run; and men should Napoleon with flowers masks the curb he
fence, or wrestle, or; Employs in the effort to make
box together — not j Each Parisian a tame " Russ in urbe."
dance. We dance sim- ,t „ , , , . , . .„ „
ply to please youn°- scratch a Russ, out barbarian will peep,
girls-why not dance „ Said his ,uucle :, ^d Louis, that martyr
with them as well as To avuncular models, too deep
sit still? In some Scratching frenchmen may chance catch a lartar.
churches they seat all -- _— —
the women by them-
selves, which is a practical pun, representing them as the opposite sex. On THE ORDER OE BOILED BEEE.
reflection, I think you will perceive that this is not more wise than witty.
"No doubt dancing must be admitted to be a sort of playing the fool. To! We Propose the Institution of a new Order of Valour,
dance is suitable to the character of a dandy ; unsuitable to that of a philosopher - the Order of Roiled Beef.
or divine: to see a bishop or a judge waltzing would be ridiculous, and we should ' }} being ascertained that recruits, upon the average,
laugh at the sight of the Lord Chancellor exposing himself as a cavalier seul. enlist for three-and-twenty years of daily dining off boiled
The more grave is any man's profession, the more dignified his office, the more beef, we think that the bare act of their enlistment alone
odd and strange is the idea of that man dancing. I grant you that though artists is such an act ot bravery as ought no longer to be honour-
often delineate devils dancing, they never represent angels cutting capers, ess The prospect of eight thousand dinners of boiled
However, a heathen poet says that 'tis nice to play the fool in season; and we. beet (and that appalling total allows of near four hundred
read elsewhere that there is ' a time to dance ' ! exceptions to the rule) is enough to daunt the courage
"But certainly, my friend Spurgeon, there'is also a time not to dance, and' even of the pluckiest. Toujour* perdrix would be a bad
I cannot contradict you, if you say that such a time is a tragic time like this ; a enough look-out, but tomaurs bouiltiis an infinitely worse
time for not dancing very publicly at least; a time of war and slaughter, actual and one. A man must be desperate indeed, to face it. The
imminent, with a noise of shrieks and groans in the distance, and our ears still valour that can brave the everyday attacking of a lump ot
ringing with the stroke of the guillotine. At such a time one seems to feel that , "ard boiled beef is such as no forlorn hope ever could mti-
dancing should be rather private, except as regards the opera-stage, the booth, and: mi"ate Our fancy rails to picture courage more heroic,
the casino. j l^e decoration we propose will m one respect at any rate
"Now, Spurgeon, what do you think of the fancy ball which took place the1 And favour at the Horse Guards. It will be sown broadcast
other evening at the Hotel of Foreign Affairs at Paris ? Let me quote you a few through the British ranks, and riot be given so as to imply
passages out of the description of that festival from the pen of the Morning Post's distinctive merit. At the end of his first twelvemonth every
correspondent; who informs us that:— private soldier will be as of course entitled, ipsojacto, to the
Order. Being then a hero of above three hundred fights
J1? lafdi^ all,w°re P°wder- and dressed their hair as we see the softer sex in those miniature b fy indigestion, his Valour will be deemed sufficiently
enamels of a hundred years ago and less. Bright eyes, under such circumstances, look brighter, , , , j j i -u 1 , i • r , i c
and fair skins much fairer. The female mind, even in our day, under such circumstances, ! attested, and he Will be esteemed in future bOUllll-yVQoL
becomes reconciled to otherwise unmentionable toilet mysteries; white powder and rouge audi In devising the best form in which the order may be
black patches are employed without hesitation; and the natural vanity and pride of women may
be seen, unchecked by custom, fashion, and prejudice, and bravely paraded, asking male admira-
tion to fall down and worship, and female jealousy to live."
worn, we must own that our invention has been put upon
the stretch. To be approved by the authorities it seemed
requisite, of course, to think of something ugly. The
11 cannot help feeling that hair-powder just now presents a not very pleasing Victoria Cross might, perhaps in this respect have been a
contrast to the gunpowder which has been blazing of late, and particularly to the fitting model; but we have too much self-respect to com-
fulminating powder that has recently exploded. And certainly I will confess that < mit a wilful plagiary, and we would never stoop to borrow
the essential follv of wearing powder, patches, and rouge is very much aggravated an idea if bv any sacrifice we could get one otherwise. Being
by dancing under such decorations. I see no difference but that of gender too much occupied by day to think upon the matter, we
between the powdered head of the countess and the whitened face of the Clown: | have purposely of late been eating sausages for supper, in
and patches added to rouge are in my mind only proper additional ornaments for
the visage of a zany. All this kind of thing is surely a little unseasonable.
" You will also, perhaps, be edified by the following account of the Pierettes, and
Pierrots who figured in the presence of the Emperor and Empress op the French,
ui the Count and Countess op Walewski's masquerade:—
i.Nfin, «,„ p- . ,. . w , .. . . m, J if it mayn't be ornamental, we fancy that perhaps the most
-Now the Pierrot, according to French authority, is a pay nan conuque et mats. Those of last a,, • Ti ■ . ■ in u : ui j. e j/>
Qigntwere exceedingly well-bred, and clever, and sprightly. The man wears a somewhat tight- fitting thing to give WOUld be a Serviceable setot tne
htting dress of white satin, decorated with bright cherry-coloured rosettes and knots ; the cap is : strongest made false teeth, which when not in active Ser-
!wwihlte' andJ>ande<i witk ribbons. The lady is equally in white and ruby satin costume—the i vice might be worn suspended bv a ribbon from the but-
tress being sufficiently short to discover pretty feet, and something more. Her head-dress is a j Tnnknlp f!rm<ii'rWirio- fhp trm<*W«<! nf thp otrino-v mp<it
triangular white cap, coquettishly placed on the powdered hair." • tontiole. UOnSlQenng tne tOUgnness 01 tne Stringy meat
( . \ supplied them, it may be reasonably assumed that long
( xou will probably disapprove of a head-dress put on under any circumstances, j before their three-and-twenty years are up, our boiled beef
coquettishly.' Still such a head-dress becomes some heads. It corresponds in eaters must sadly want new dental apparatus: ana their
those cases to the worthlessness of the contents of the skull. As worn on such an j teeth having been injured in the service of their country, ol
occasion, however, as the Walewski's ball, it seems to indicate a hollowness ofl course the country ougnttomake a reparation of the damaare
— — - — X---L----„'-----------------CJ ---- -i ---•----
order that we might keep ourselves awake at night to
ruminate; and we are happy to announce that, after passi ig
a whole sleepless week, we think that we have hit upon a
suitable device.
It being only fair that the decoration should be useful,
Vol. 34.
e
DISAGREEABLE DANCING.
To the Rev. C. H. Spurgeon.
Deae Spurgeon,
" You have not been
making much noise
lately. I hope you
are quiet for some
other reason than
because you are ill
Much of your elo
quence is well aimed
heart inconsistent with the possibility that the heart could
bleed, as the poet says, for another. The idea of bleeding,
indeed, appears to have been quite remote from the imagin-
ations of the Pierettes and Pierrots, to judge by the indi-
cation of their white and ruby costume. Had they con-
sidered the colour of which the tide of public affairs has
been lately running, the ruby on the white might have
struck them as unpleasantly glaring.
" Wishing you may be shortly invited to the Tuileries to
preach on the subject of la dame, believe me, my dear
Spur&eon, « Your occasional hearerj j0HN BxJLL»
"P.S. I don't object to the regular ballet, neither need
you. Therein the women dance almost entirely alone;
and _ calculated to an^ moreover, go in for serious dancing "
convince rogues or
roguery and its ulti- ~~""- ----- - —
mate look-out, by lay-
ing down the law of
spiritual gravitation
in strong terms.
" I don't quite a-
gree with you about
dancing. Dancing is
poor exercise. You
THE TWO IMPERIAL REGIMES.
" Look on this picture and on that ! "
How must History's Muse stand aghast,
With all her proud claims to foresee men,
Now that Prance turns her freemen to serfs,
And Russia her serfs turns to freemen!
had better leap or vV ith his planting, park-making, and all,
run; and men should Napoleon with flowers masks the curb he
fence, or wrestle, or; Employs in the effort to make
box together — not j Each Parisian a tame " Russ in urbe."
dance. We dance sim- ,t „ , , , . , . .„ „
ply to please youn°- scratch a Russ, out barbarian will peep,
girls-why not dance „ Said his ,uucle :, ^d Louis, that martyr
with them as well as To avuncular models, too deep
sit still? In some Scratching frenchmen may chance catch a lartar.
churches they seat all -- _— —
the women by them-
selves, which is a practical pun, representing them as the opposite sex. On THE ORDER OE BOILED BEEE.
reflection, I think you will perceive that this is not more wise than witty.
"No doubt dancing must be admitted to be a sort of playing the fool. To! We Propose the Institution of a new Order of Valour,
dance is suitable to the character of a dandy ; unsuitable to that of a philosopher - the Order of Roiled Beef.
or divine: to see a bishop or a judge waltzing would be ridiculous, and we should ' }} being ascertained that recruits, upon the average,
laugh at the sight of the Lord Chancellor exposing himself as a cavalier seul. enlist for three-and-twenty years of daily dining off boiled
The more grave is any man's profession, the more dignified his office, the more beef, we think that the bare act of their enlistment alone
odd and strange is the idea of that man dancing. I grant you that though artists is such an act ot bravery as ought no longer to be honour-
often delineate devils dancing, they never represent angels cutting capers, ess The prospect of eight thousand dinners of boiled
However, a heathen poet says that 'tis nice to play the fool in season; and we. beet (and that appalling total allows of near four hundred
read elsewhere that there is ' a time to dance ' ! exceptions to the rule) is enough to daunt the courage
"But certainly, my friend Spurgeon, there'is also a time not to dance, and' even of the pluckiest. Toujour* perdrix would be a bad
I cannot contradict you, if you say that such a time is a tragic time like this ; a enough look-out, but tomaurs bouiltiis an infinitely worse
time for not dancing very publicly at least; a time of war and slaughter, actual and one. A man must be desperate indeed, to face it. The
imminent, with a noise of shrieks and groans in the distance, and our ears still valour that can brave the everyday attacking of a lump ot
ringing with the stroke of the guillotine. At such a time one seems to feel that , "ard boiled beef is such as no forlorn hope ever could mti-
dancing should be rather private, except as regards the opera-stage, the booth, and: mi"ate Our fancy rails to picture courage more heroic,
the casino. j l^e decoration we propose will m one respect at any rate
"Now, Spurgeon, what do you think of the fancy ball which took place the1 And favour at the Horse Guards. It will be sown broadcast
other evening at the Hotel of Foreign Affairs at Paris ? Let me quote you a few through the British ranks, and riot be given so as to imply
passages out of the description of that festival from the pen of the Morning Post's distinctive merit. At the end of his first twelvemonth every
correspondent; who informs us that:— private soldier will be as of course entitled, ipsojacto, to the
Order. Being then a hero of above three hundred fights
J1? lafdi^ all,w°re P°wder- and dressed their hair as we see the softer sex in those miniature b fy indigestion, his Valour will be deemed sufficiently
enamels of a hundred years ago and less. Bright eyes, under such circumstances, look brighter, , , , j j i -u 1 , i • r , i c
and fair skins much fairer. The female mind, even in our day, under such circumstances, ! attested, and he Will be esteemed in future bOUllll-yVQoL
becomes reconciled to otherwise unmentionable toilet mysteries; white powder and rouge audi In devising the best form in which the order may be
black patches are employed without hesitation; and the natural vanity and pride of women may
be seen, unchecked by custom, fashion, and prejudice, and bravely paraded, asking male admira-
tion to fall down and worship, and female jealousy to live."
worn, we must own that our invention has been put upon
the stretch. To be approved by the authorities it seemed
requisite, of course, to think of something ugly. The
11 cannot help feeling that hair-powder just now presents a not very pleasing Victoria Cross might, perhaps in this respect have been a
contrast to the gunpowder which has been blazing of late, and particularly to the fitting model; but we have too much self-respect to com-
fulminating powder that has recently exploded. And certainly I will confess that < mit a wilful plagiary, and we would never stoop to borrow
the essential follv of wearing powder, patches, and rouge is very much aggravated an idea if bv any sacrifice we could get one otherwise. Being
by dancing under such decorations. I see no difference but that of gender too much occupied by day to think upon the matter, we
between the powdered head of the countess and the whitened face of the Clown: | have purposely of late been eating sausages for supper, in
and patches added to rouge are in my mind only proper additional ornaments for
the visage of a zany. All this kind of thing is surely a little unseasonable.
" You will also, perhaps, be edified by the following account of the Pierettes, and
Pierrots who figured in the presence of the Emperor and Empress op the French,
ui the Count and Countess op Walewski's masquerade:—
i.Nfin, «,„ p- . ,. . w , .. . . m, J if it mayn't be ornamental, we fancy that perhaps the most
-Now the Pierrot, according to French authority, is a pay nan conuque et mats. Those of last a,, • Ti ■ . ■ in u : ui j. e j/>
Qigntwere exceedingly well-bred, and clever, and sprightly. The man wears a somewhat tight- fitting thing to give WOUld be a Serviceable setot tne
htting dress of white satin, decorated with bright cherry-coloured rosettes and knots ; the cap is : strongest made false teeth, which when not in active Ser-
!wwihlte' andJ>ande<i witk ribbons. The lady is equally in white and ruby satin costume—the i vice might be worn suspended bv a ribbon from the but-
tress being sufficiently short to discover pretty feet, and something more. Her head-dress is a j Tnnknlp f!rm<ii'rWirio- fhp trm<*W«<! nf thp otrino-v mp<it
triangular white cap, coquettishly placed on the powdered hair." • tontiole. UOnSlQenng tne tOUgnness 01 tne Stringy meat
( . \ supplied them, it may be reasonably assumed that long
( xou will probably disapprove of a head-dress put on under any circumstances, j before their three-and-twenty years are up, our boiled beef
coquettishly.' Still such a head-dress becomes some heads. It corresponds in eaters must sadly want new dental apparatus: ana their
those cases to the worthlessness of the contents of the skull. As worn on such an j teeth having been injured in the service of their country, ol
occasion, however, as the Walewski's ball, it seems to indicate a hollowness ofl course the country ougnttomake a reparation of the damaare
— — - — X---L----„'-----------------CJ ---- -i ---•----
order that we might keep ourselves awake at night to
ruminate; and we are happy to announce that, after passi ig
a whole sleepless week, we think that we have hit upon a
suitable device.
It being only fair that the decoration should be useful,
Vol. 34.
e