Punch (34.1858)

214 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Mat 29, 1858.

3iisued "a long discussion of an amusing and somewhat desultory
sharacter " during which the antiswanhopping resolution of the Court
was denounced as "a piece of trifling, petty legislation," and its
supporters were characterized as men who " strained at gnats, but
swallowed camels with the greatest ease." The individuals m question
may or may not be accustomed to strain at gnats, but one would think
that facility in swallowing camels would be more likely to distinguish
that party in the Corporation which votes for the continuance ot the
grant to keep up the summer excursions.

We are happy in adding, that the excursionists had the day, the
amendment having been negatived ; for we should be sorry to see the
weight of the Corporation diminished, asit would be by any retrench-
ment affecting the most, important functions it performs, which, as of
course everybody knows, are those of eating and drinking.

RIVAL PEACEMAKERS.

riends of the drab denomination,_and
other'members of the Peace Society,
met, on Tuesday evening last week,
to talk in behalf ot their principles at
the Finsbury Chapel, Moor fields. On
the very same evening the interests
of Peace were advocated in a more
practical manner in another place.
Sib Charles Napier moved for, and
obtained, a Commission to inquire
into the best way of manning the
Navy. Mr. Joseph Sturge may de-
pend upon it, that the best thing we
Pll' can do to insure the object of the
iii-'L Society over which he presided on the

%\V#' occasion above mentioned, is to keep

m0f>^ up the Channel Fleet, and that the

' next best thing is, not to make

speeches inculcating pacific feelings, but to maintain an army capable
of repelling invasion. Denounce war—inveigh against robbery and
murder-but maintain a thoroughly sufficient force of policemen,
soldiers, and sailors.

be a pic-nic every morning, if it would only secure to hinfthe possibility
of his always being able to get his breakfast so early.

Mr. David Murrough (the young conveyancer of Gray's Inn) was
told by his laundress on Sunday morning that his "tea was nearly
out." Mr. D. Mtjrrotjgh could not refrain from expressing his sur-
prise, as it was not more than ten days ago that he had had a couple of
pounds in ! The fact was partly explained by a silver tea-spoon being
found in the caddy that was not Mr. D. Murrough's property. The
young conveyancer showed the spoon to the laundress, and asked her
if it belonged to her, and upon receiving a solemn assurance that
" she knew nuffen at all about it," he quietly flung it into the fire.
Since then Mr. D. Murrough has taken the precaution of keeping his
tea-caddy locked.

On Monday morning the one-pound packet of tea was delivered as
usual at Mbs. Rodwell's, being the one week's consumption of sixty
joung ladies, who are being fed and finished by that eminent scholastic
lady at Arachnea College.

DELIVERIES OF TEA.

During the last week, there have been some surprising Deliveries of
Tea. On Monday last, Mrs. Kerr Mudgeon_ got up as early as six
o'clock in the morning, and, hastening down-stairs in her flannel dress-
ing-gown, long before any of the servants were up, proceeded to make
her husband a, strong cup of tea. Mr. Kerr Mudgeon had been up
rather late the night before, and complained of a " sickly headache."
Such an early delivery of tea has never been known before, and the
unusual phenomenon can only be accounted for by the fact of its being
Mrs. Kerr Mudgeon's birth-day the following day. She will be
five-and-thirty, within a dozen years or so.

On Wednesday night, a little after one, cups and saucers were laid
for twelve, on the large umbrella breakfast-stall, that is usually sta-
tioned in Piccadilly, near the Green Park. The cups and saucers were
replenished several times, as there happened to be a grand ball in the
neighbourhood. One portly coachman, with a Welsh wig and pink
stockings, scalded himself sadly in endeavouring, in a steaming hurry,
to finish his boiling hot allowance. He was called away suddenly,
on hearing "Lady Bird's Carriage" being vociferously shouted
for, and, with the tears in his eyes, had to leave his saucer at least
half full behind him. So abrupt was his departure, that this aristo-
cratic coachman quite forgot to pull out his porte-monnaie, and
discharge the trifling amount. The festivities were kept up until
the last distinguished guest had left the ball. About six o'clock,
two medical students (a Guy, and a Royal Fever,) got up an
impromptu The Dansante by dancing the Polka in the middle of the
road.

On Saturday, Sir Anthony Mincing Lane (the rich merchant,
who has retired from the plum and fig interest, of Smyrna and Shore-
ditch) was " perfectly astonished" on descending to breakfast about
half-past eleven to find his family (consisting of nine" daughters, three
nieces, a poor relation, a governess, a mother-in-law, and his wife) all
assembled before him. Not only had they nearly finished breakfast,
but the young ladies were dressed and had their bonnets on. Sir
Mincing was evidently pleased at this improved state of things ; but
he could not help smiling, as about one o'clock several smart young
gentlemen, selected from the highest ranks of City Society, including
the Stock-Exchange, called in their new Spring "peg-tops" to escort
eight of his daughters and two of his nieces to a distant pic-nic in the
country. The good-natured old fig-merchant wished that there might

THE DERBY SETTLING.

(by one who has looked round at the political corner.)

As settling day approaches, the backers of the Government are
tryirig every artful dodge they know of to back out, and there is reason
to believe that on more accounts than one there will be a sort of com-
promise effected. Those who stood to win on Elephant of course
were thrown out of their reckoning by the scratching of their favourite,
and at the last moment found it difficult to hedge. There is, we under-
stand, a pretty general surprise that they were not more cautious in
" putting on the pot." It has been remarked on all sides, that there
was nothing " dark" about the animal, to justify their making him a
point for speculation. His antecedents were well known, and it was
feared from the first that he would prove unmanageable. Prom his
previous performances it was looked upon as certain that no amount
of jockeying could tame his restive spirit; and it was considered highly
probable that when he did break loose it would be at the most critical
and most important moment. Moreover, if we may venture to say
publicly what is indeed in everybody's mouth, there has been all along
a pretty strong impression that Rupert was not the man to be his
jockey. An animal so cranky and hot-headed as the Elephant ought,
it is quite clear, have had the coolest hand to manage him. We would
not say a word to hurt poor Rupert's feelings after the shock which
he has had; and while the crisis is still pending and his fate is in
the balance, it would be the height of cruelty to do so. Still, he must
himself admit,, if he recovers from the accident, that it was his own
misguided act which put his neck in danger ; and, at least, he can't
blame us for not having warned him of the likelihood there was that
he would come to grief.

In the general way, the settling will not be very heavy. It may be
supposed the Derby party are not over sanguine in the matter of their
prospects; and their serenity, of course, has rather been disturbed
by the somewhat sudden way in which they have been brought to
book. To those attached to place, it must be sadly galling to have to
change their sporting residence fiom Downing Street to Queer Street,
and the transmigration cannot but be painful to their souls. But the
box in which they've found themselves has so often been the wrong
one that they must be getting used to it; and, as they have not much
to lose, their character won't suffer very much by the mutation. We
cannot help thinking though, that had they been more careful, they
might have done much better for themselves than they have done.
We don't mean to turn prophet after the event, but it was obvious to
every one that Secret Despatch was by several degrees too dark a horse
to back with any reasonable prospect of their coming to good luck by
him. With Frenchman and Engineer they had stood well at starting,
and by Dizzy's clever handling Budget, there is no doubt would have
pulled through without difficulty. India Bill showed shaky; but, after
ail, their stake on him was not a very heavy one, and they might have
easily backed out without breaking their engagements, as, in point of
fact, there were really none to break. But bringing out Despatch
was an elephantine blunder, and those who stood on Opposition
of course were wide awake to it. We cannot but think that the
Administration party were somewhat blinded by the odds at which
the coupling of Big Bam and Little John was quoted in the Whig
stables; but by playing their card well the oppositionists contrived
to get the two together, and so Majority was made safe, and the
result was a walk over.

Note. We received the above article from a gentleman—we beg pardon, from an
individual who called himself a "Derby Prophet;" and we were therefore quite
prepared to find that do dependence could be placed upon his statements. His
account of the finish is entirely incorrect. Majority, it is true, had been at one time
made safe, but Dissolution showed so completely out of favour, that it was conceived
prudent to arrange a compromise ; and by a kind of cross, Resolution was withdrawn,
and the race left undecided. The Derby Settling is therefore for a time postponed ;
but it is generally regarded as being not far distant.