Punch: Punch (39.1860)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [September 29, i860,

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SERMONS AND SORE THROATS.

Under the signature of T. B., a correspondent
of the Inquirer discusses a peculiar complaint to
which preachers are liable, and which appears
to be known to those whom it concerns by the
name of “Minister’s Sore Throat.” T. B. ob-
serves that singers, who exert the vocal organs
much more powerfully than preachers do, are
not subject to this affection, and attributes their
exemption therefrom to the modulations of sound
wherein their performances consist, as con
trasted with the usual monotony of sermons,
which he supposes to be the cause of the minis-
terial malady. It is possible that harping upon
one string, as it were, of the chordae vocales, may
produce a soreness of the part overstrained. It
is desirable to know whether the “Minister’s
Sore Throat ” is confined to Dissenting Ministers,
or whether it is an orthodox ailment.

There are certainly some divines other than
nonconformists, who in preaching are wont to
utter such uncouth tones as to grievously offend
the ears of the listener. In the effort of producing
such painful sounds they may also perhaps hurt
their own throats, and serve them right. But
who ever heard a parson of the old school com-
plain of any injury to the throat sustained through
preaching ? Did the plump old pluralist with a
red nose ever suffer from “Minister’s Sore
Throat ” ? Yet surely he was monotonous enough
in preaching. But it must never be forgotten
that this kind of clergyman was in the habit of
keeping the immediate neighbourhood of that
mechanism which is liable to be deranged by
preaching well moistened with a fluid which is
an excellent gargle—port wine. It is very true
that he always drank his gargle. Perhaps also
he did not preach too long. How if the pastors
who suffer from “Minister’s Sore Throat” were
supplied by the liberality of those who sit under
them with plenty of the parson’s preservative
against that complaint, on condition of their
observance of the same moderation as that which,
on the parson’s part, may be supposed to have
been a condition to the efficacy of the remedy ?

A FRIENDLY VENTURE.

“Might I tempt you to venture upon this
orange?” “I should be happy to oblige you,
Madam,” said Leigh Hunt, who was thus being
addressed by a lady, “but I’m afraid I should
fall off.” The Prince oe Wales, much in the
same way at Kingston and other places in Canada,
would not venture near the Oranges ; for fear, not
of falling off, but of falling out. There might
have been a falling off of his popularity, had he
yielded to the insolence of these sour bigots, who
acted infinitely more like meddlers than oranges.
If we were asked to say, what were the Fruits
of Sedition, we should not hesitate for a moment
i to reply—“The Oranges in Upper Canada.”

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iC CUM MARTE MINERVA.”

(with a vengeance.)

Another Prophecy Fulfilled!

Our friend Maulsticke (38Hi “ Artists’ ”) devotes himselj to Strengthening Ms Left Arm, wMch
he hears is of the greatest importance in order to make himself a Good Shot; lie therefore uses his
Rifle as a Maul-stick, to accustom his arm to the weight of it.

A Glass that will not bear the Morning’s Reflection.

An American has patented a glass in which a man can see himself as plainly as others
see him. At present he has not sold a single specimen, for everybody who has looked into
the glass will not believe that the plain object before him could possibly be himself. Loud
and bitter and unmitigated has been the disgust and indignation of everybody, and the con-
sequence has been, that the poor American, believing in his innocence that the object of the
world was to arrive at the truth, has lost largely by his foolish speculation. He is now
trying his hand on a glass that flatters, and expects in a very short time to realise a con-
siderable fortune. To the ladies he intends charging double, for he knows well enough that, j
let them be ever so beautiful, they will never be able to do without it. He has not yet fixed |
the price for girls who squint. '

tpr There is hut one lunch, and, when needful, j;

he turns Prophet. j

Five years ago, on the Fifteenth of September,
in Number 740 of his immortal work. Punch
predicted the extinction of the tyranny of Naples
—a prophecy which all who run may read has
been fulfilled. In the Big Cut of that Number
the King oe Naples is depicted, with bis Crown
toppling off as he makes his hurried exit, in the
midst of an eruption of cannon-balls and bayonets,
belched upon him from Vesuvius, which is blazing
in the background. What prophet could speak
plainer, who spoke with pencil’s point ?

Mr. Edwin James’ Mission to Halt.—To
address the Jura.