DOI Heft:
December 1, 1860
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16866#0222
214 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [December 1, IrtGO.
DIVERSIONS OF DRILL.
Captain op Volunteers. “ Dress back, No. 3, do dress back. Comp'ny ! Fours! As y’ were! No. 3, Mr., Buffi.es, how often am 1 to
speak to you, Sir ? Will you dress back, Sir ; further still, Sir. You are not dressed exactly yet, Sir, by a-”
Buffles (goaded to madness). “ Bet yer Five Pounds I am—There 1 ”
Quoth the Old Lady, “Well—I have bullion to sell—
But as for exchanges, they can’t well be fair,
With Victoria and porter, on our side the water,
On yours L. Napoleon and Fin ordinaire.
“ Excuse me for hinting—whatever the minting,
Were the one head on silver, the other on browns—
There’s no money-changer, be’t native or stranger,
Swops one British Sov’reign, for fifty French crowns.
“ And you ’ll pardon my saying, this game you’ve been playing
Of buying up gold at a loss scarce can pay—
If your discounts you’ll heighten the market you’ll tighten,
And not have to beg for help over the way.
“ Still, though I won’t swop, I agree to a * pop; ’
Take my gold, and in pledge leave your silver instead;
And still may we settle our scores iu such metal,
Instead of your Emperor’s coin—steel and lead.”
Appalling Attempt.
Distressing symptoms of insanity were shown the other evening in
the course of a quadrille by a Young Lady who attempted to take her
partner’s breath away and destroy his peace of mind by asking him -
this riddle.
Q. Why are the New York girls who have been talking so much
lately of EL It. H. the Prince of Wales like more than half the
members of nearly all our Rifle Corps ? .
A. Because you see they almost always have a young heir apparent
on their lips. __
“ Rejected Addresses.”—The Dead Letter Office.
THE TWO OLD LADIES.
Quoth Madame la Banque, “ De l’or queje manque !
And my rates for discounting I mustn’t screw high,
By way of restraining the gold that keeps draining
From strong room and till, till I’m nearly run dry ?
“ I’ve francs here in plenty, but can’t issue twenty,
Against a Napoleon; so ere I get shorter,
Perforce to my aid I must call the Old Lady
Who lives in Threadneedle Street, over the water,
“ Although we’re near neighbours, and link’d in our labours,
Our relations have not been so close, I’m aware,
As relations should be, spite of ten leagues of sea—
Even they involve cet atroce mal-de-mer ! ”
So Madame La Banque called a cab off the rank,
And tipping the driver a handsomepour-boire
Took the train, and to Dover from Boulogne steamed over,
In spite of sea-sickness, and other betes noires.
Her carpet-hag stowed with a cumbersome load
Of new five-franc pieces, to change for de For,
In the street of Threadneedle, she bowed to the beadle.
Who sports his red cloak at the Old Lady’s door.
He ushered her in to the sanctum within,
Where sat the Old Lady, sedate and serene;
With Parisian ease, Dame La Banque made a cheese,
That expanded the skirts of her vast Crinoline.
ChereMadame, if you would—be so kind—so ver’ good,
A neighbour to help at a pinch, if you please,”
(Here her silver she tugged from the bag which she lugged,)
“ Bonnez-moi, chere Madame, English sovereigns for dose.”
DIVERSIONS OF DRILL.
Captain op Volunteers. “ Dress back, No. 3, do dress back. Comp'ny ! Fours! As y’ were! No. 3, Mr., Buffi.es, how often am 1 to
speak to you, Sir ? Will you dress back, Sir ; further still, Sir. You are not dressed exactly yet, Sir, by a-”
Buffles (goaded to madness). “ Bet yer Five Pounds I am—There 1 ”
Quoth the Old Lady, “Well—I have bullion to sell—
But as for exchanges, they can’t well be fair,
With Victoria and porter, on our side the water,
On yours L. Napoleon and Fin ordinaire.
“ Excuse me for hinting—whatever the minting,
Were the one head on silver, the other on browns—
There’s no money-changer, be’t native or stranger,
Swops one British Sov’reign, for fifty French crowns.
“ And you ’ll pardon my saying, this game you’ve been playing
Of buying up gold at a loss scarce can pay—
If your discounts you’ll heighten the market you’ll tighten,
And not have to beg for help over the way.
“ Still, though I won’t swop, I agree to a * pop; ’
Take my gold, and in pledge leave your silver instead;
And still may we settle our scores iu such metal,
Instead of your Emperor’s coin—steel and lead.”
Appalling Attempt.
Distressing symptoms of insanity were shown the other evening in
the course of a quadrille by a Young Lady who attempted to take her
partner’s breath away and destroy his peace of mind by asking him -
this riddle.
Q. Why are the New York girls who have been talking so much
lately of EL It. H. the Prince of Wales like more than half the
members of nearly all our Rifle Corps ? .
A. Because you see they almost always have a young heir apparent
on their lips. __
“ Rejected Addresses.”—The Dead Letter Office.
THE TWO OLD LADIES.
Quoth Madame la Banque, “ De l’or queje manque !
And my rates for discounting I mustn’t screw high,
By way of restraining the gold that keeps draining
From strong room and till, till I’m nearly run dry ?
“ I’ve francs here in plenty, but can’t issue twenty,
Against a Napoleon; so ere I get shorter,
Perforce to my aid I must call the Old Lady
Who lives in Threadneedle Street, over the water,
“ Although we’re near neighbours, and link’d in our labours,
Our relations have not been so close, I’m aware,
As relations should be, spite of ten leagues of sea—
Even they involve cet atroce mal-de-mer ! ”
So Madame La Banque called a cab off the rank,
And tipping the driver a handsomepour-boire
Took the train, and to Dover from Boulogne steamed over,
In spite of sea-sickness, and other betes noires.
Her carpet-hag stowed with a cumbersome load
Of new five-franc pieces, to change for de For,
In the street of Threadneedle, she bowed to the beadle.
Who sports his red cloak at the Old Lady’s door.
He ushered her in to the sanctum within,
Where sat the Old Lady, sedate and serene;
With Parisian ease, Dame La Banque made a cheese,
That expanded the skirts of her vast Crinoline.
ChereMadame, if you would—be so kind—so ver’ good,
A neighbour to help at a pinch, if you please,”
(Here her silver she tugged from the bag which she lugged,)
“ Bonnez-moi, chere Madame, English sovereigns for dose.”