Punch (42.1862)

IV

PREFACE

[June 28, 1862.

because he went to Australia and never wrote to say he was dead, or anything in the nug—nug—nugget line,
you know, and—I ’ll tell you what—an idea—yes. When you write your double letter to my brother Sam
you might put a p—p—postscript telling him that if he doesn’t get it he might send it on to uncle if he
isn’t dead, and if he is, tell uncle to send it back. Of course he can’t do that if he’s dead, unless—ha—-
unless you wrote a d—d—dead letter—not bad that. But alive or not, he’s quite a gentleman, my uncle,
I assure you, and if you think he would marry a Cerberus you don’t know the man. Quite incapable of
marrying Cerberus or any other heathen goddess. Was Cerberus a goddess though?—no, I should say not
—didn’t M—M—Morpheus go after his wife and give him sop—Cerberus must have been a b —b—baby—a
two-headed baby—wonder which face they k—k—christened, awkward for the godfathers not to know which
half they answered for, eh ? Well, I don’t know what’s to be done though, because you say you want the
Preface to-morrow, and the mail don’t go out till next week, so you couldn’t hear in time unless you put
more stamps on, and then the letter would weigh too much, and he’d send it back unopened, Sam would,
for he’s a d—d—deuced economical fellah, is Master. Sam. I call him Master because there’s no Mistress
Sam, and I wish there was, as marriage would steady him, a pair goes much steadier than a single horse,
not that Sam’s a horse, if he was I wouldn’t send you to him to write Prefaces ; horses don’t do that
I’m given to understand, though he might draw the p—p—picture for you; horses can draw, you must see
that joke, and you might put it in the Preface when Sam sends it over. Sam will laugh at that, he
always laughs, does Sam, except when he’s asleep, and then he wh—wh—wh—whistles through his nose
10 show he isn’t afraid of ghosts, though I don’t know whether they understand it as such, but if my
, lamented uncle’s a ghost he understands it, because he understood everything, and I think you ’ll get a
better Preface out of him than Sam. I tell you what, if the gh—gh—ghost don’t answer you, and
Sam don’t, you come to me to the Haymarket at Christmas and—you ’ll remember Christmas—hot
c—c—cross buns, you know—and then I ’ll do it for you, and you can hark back and put it in your

Jf-Jf-Jf - Sttaxiii $ illume