Punch (42.1862)

March 1, 1862.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

8).

Oh, it's all very well to laugh! but it was too bad of Little Sinks to come in Ms Canadian Dress and Snow-shoes to our Fancy Ball."

SOMETHING LIKE LAND REFORM.

The following Correspondence has passed between Lords Punch
and Westbury upon the subject of the Reform in Conveyancing

“ My dear Westbury, “ Fleet Street, Feb. 18.

“ I have read your Speech, and it is a very good one. I do
not think so well of your Bill, because it is not a regular Root-and-
Brancher. I suppose, however, that it is the strongest which you
think the Titled Obstructives and the Certificated Attorneys will allow
to pass. _ So you may as well go on with it.

“ But if it be defeated, something else must be done for the unhappy
Land.

“ Just look at the tollowing draft of a Bill which I have prepared. If
you think it will do, I shall lay it on the table in the event of your Bill
being rejected.

“ As lor Cranny’s two, and Chelmsford’s two, and any others that
may be poked before us, be good enough, as Major-domo, to tell the
laundress to light our smoking-room fire with them.

“ Ever yours,

“ The Lord Westbury.” “ Punch.”

Bill (referred to in the above letter) for putting all the
Real Property of the country on a safe basis, so
that buying and selling may be easy.

BSSljmas the present system of Conveyancing is kept up for the sake
of enriching a pack of Lawyers.

3nh MRljercas it is time that the aforesaid system of plunder should
cease.

Be it (jEnacteh, &c.

That on the 30th April next, every piece of written parchment in the
United Kingdom be consumed by fire.

That the Possessors of Property on that day be declared by Parlia-
ment to have a perfectly good Title to the property they Possess,
except as next mentioned.

That any person who claims anybody else’s property shall give notice
to that effect before the 1st June, and that his right shall be tried

before Lord Punch, who will sit in Ire if any sham claim be brought
forward, and will give his judgment right slap off.

That by way of slightly discouraging any sham claims or unjust
defences, it be understood that when Lord Punch shall have decided
against any person, the Counsel who argued the loser’s case shall be
disbarred, the Attorney flogged, and the Party transported.

That as fast as Lord Punch decides a case, the Title to the Property
in question shall be considered as finally settled.

That all Property shall be catalogued, with the owner’s name, by the
active and intelligent gentlemen who are now cooking the International
Catalogue, and that this second edition of Domesday Book shall be
printed at Mr. Punch’s office, and sold at the rate of Fifty Guineas per
copy, and that every attorney, counsel, and landowner in the. kingdom
shall be bound to take a copy, under penalty of the confiscation of his
certificate, wig, or property respectively.

That this Act shall apply to Everywhere.

That Lord Punch shall apply his baton to Everybody who raises
any difficulty or cavil in the premisses.

REPLY.

“ My dear Punch, “ Court of Chancery, Feb. 20.

“I am glad you liked my speech. I myself think that it was
a good one. I should have liked to put in a little more pepper for the j
Pumps, but there is nothing like civility. If they defeat my Bill, I
pledge myself to support yours, which I can only say is Beautiful, and
that I would be Punch if I were not

“ His faithfully,

“The Lord Punch.” “Westbury.”

Lit(t)erary Intelligence.

If the Chief Rabbi had an “ Index Fx/purgatorius ” as well as the
Pore, we naturally conclude that such works as the following would
be included amongst its prohibitions Hogg, Bacon, and Fenwick
DE PoRQUET.

Imaginary Birthplace of Deerfoot?—Cape Race.