DOI Heft:
April 12, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0151
April 12, 1862.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
143
TOUCHING.”
Bootmaker (affected to tears). “ Then you haven't heard o' the demise of 'is S’rene 'Ighness (sob)
Count Pvmmelwitz, Sir ;—very old crust'mer of ours, Sir—and when y 'uve (sniff) made a
Nobleman’s Boots so many years, you feel re'lly like one of the Fam'ly ! ”
LINFS ON THE LUNACY BILL.
Learned writers mind disease on
Say that all mankind are mad.
If most men were ruled by reason.
How were soldiers to be had ?
How would sailors be persuaded.
Then, to join a gallant crew
Destined to be cannonaded,
Shelled, and smashed, and cut in two ?
Who, if he could earn a navvie’s
Pay, would go where glory calls,
And submit himself to have his
Legs knocked off by cannon-balls ?
Glory? Worth how mere a button
To the greatest Captain, shot!
Nought to him that, dead as mutton,
Is, when gone, as soon forgot.
Worldliness, in every quarter,
And the love of self, abound
But for madness, scarce a martyr
To his country would be found.
What self-sacrifice, without it,
Should we thinking few obtain ?
Portunate for us, no doubt, it
Is that others are insane.
Advice Freely Given on all Occasions.
The Comte he Morny bullies, scolds and
lectures the Legislative Body in fine style. His
real distinctive title should be “Le MoRNY-feaw
de la France.” This would happily corroborate
what M. Jhles-Favre said about there being
but one journalist in Prance, and that was the
Emperor. Well, let us complete the sentence
by saying, “There is but one Journalist in
Prance, and Le MoRNY-fear is his Organ.”
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
March 31s^. Monday. Mr. Smith that was, Lord Lyveden that is,
Mr. Punch dislikes small suspicions and unworthy suggestions. If a
person deserves to be trusted, trust him ; if he does not, cut the con-
nection. It seems that by reason of an informality the legislative acts
of South.Australia are of doubtful validity, and the Duke of New-
castle introduces , a Bill to remove the doubt. Smith that was,
Lyveden that is, hinted that the error might be a studied design on
the part of the colonists to frustrate the purpose of the Home Legis-
lature. The Duke at once smashed him by stating that the error was
one made not by the colonists but by the Governor, and that it was
detected and pointed out by a colonial lawyer. We imagine that Smith
that was, Lyveden that is, must be sorry he spoke.
Lord Palmerston refused to give any papeis about the persecution
of Protestants in Spain, because there were no such papers. Our repre-
sentative at Madrid was simply charged to lose no opportunity of
hinting in a civil manner that the Spaniards ought to be ashamed of
themselves. We have no idea what may be Pam’s estimate of the
number of social epigrams likely to be required before the unfortunate
Protestants can be reparteed out of prison, but if he really thinks that
such, weapons, will do, he is at liberty to put the Ambassador into com-
munication with one of our young men, who will turn on wit until the
prison-doors fly open. But more men have been joked into gaol than
out of it.
Then came on an interesting and important discussion. Sir Frede-
rick Smith called attention to the fight between the Merrimac and the
Monitor, American vessels, and demanded to know whether our Govern-
ment were learning a lesson upon the subject of invulnerable ships.
Sir G. C. Lewis made a reply. It is not often that Mr. Punch has the
pleasure of agreeing with Mr. Bright upon Military and Naval
questions, but that gentleman’s observations upon the fight and the
speech of the. War Minister were most proper. He said that the man
must be particularly stupid who did not see the importance of the inci-
dent in the war, and that the speech of Sir G. C. Lewis was most un-
satisfactory. Sir George thought that on the strength of a few davs’
experience the Government ought not to rush into costly experiments.
But less than a few days has sufficed to arrive at the certain knowledge
that (in smooth water) an iron clad ship can demolish a whole fleet of
wooden ships as easily as Mr. Punch demolishes any enemies that may
be unhappy enough to come in the way of his waked wrath. An inch
is as good as a mile for a home-thrust, as the Antiquary observes. If
Sir George Lewis is going to play the Old Fogy, and resist all im-
provements, the sooner he retires to some sequestered spot, and studies
his Greek authors without interruption by public affairs the better.
Meantime we beg to remind the learned man, that neither the Pyrrhic
phalanx nor Greek fire was invented by parties who declined to advance
with the military spirit of the time. Will that consideration move him
—or must we move him ?
Afterwards, on Estimates, Mr. Cowper recorded the solemn promise
that though the Trafalgar Square Fountains are now eye-sores, they
shall, in May, be something “ of which every Englishman will be
proud.” This splendid undertaking quite took away the breath of the
Committee. What in earth, or in water, is Cowper going to do to the
squirts ? We are afraid to guess, and must wait till May for leave to
be proud. The Copyright in Works of Art Bill passed the same even-
ing, so nobody will be able to pirate Cowper’s ideas of the Beautiful,
be they what they may.
Tuesday. Some Tipperary jurors want to know the character of the
water of the Shannon. Like Irishmen, they ask Lord Clanricarde
to ask the Lords to ask the question. Why don’t they take a header,
and find out for themselves ?
A debate on the Civil Service Examinations brought up the usual
nonsense about questions being asked which nobody could answer off
hand. Lord Stanley ridiculed the objections with considerable
success. We should not care to spend a week with the gentlemen
who brought forward some of the examination questions as problems
too deep for human solution. We should have incontinently discharged
our office-boy if he had not, on our ringing the bell and reading the list
to him, expressed the most profound contempt for, blended with a
desire to punch the head of, any Muff, as he succinctly put it, who
could not analyse the character of Hamlet and state who wrote the
Polyolbion.
Ever since Drury Lane Theatre was burned, the Sheridans have been
so fidgety about fire that they will hardly sit down in the room with a
person who happens to have a Rufus head. To-night one of them made
an attack upon the duty on Fire Insurance, ana though Lord Pal-
merston pleaded that some taxes must be paid, and Mr. Gladstone
angrily begged that the Budget might be waited for, Mr. Sheridan
pressed fiis point, and beat the Ministers by 127 to 116.
Mr. E. P. Bouverie was never considered the wisest man in the
world, and a much smarter person than himself called him in the
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
143
TOUCHING.”
Bootmaker (affected to tears). “ Then you haven't heard o' the demise of 'is S’rene 'Ighness (sob)
Count Pvmmelwitz, Sir ;—very old crust'mer of ours, Sir—and when y 'uve (sniff) made a
Nobleman’s Boots so many years, you feel re'lly like one of the Fam'ly ! ”
LINFS ON THE LUNACY BILL.
Learned writers mind disease on
Say that all mankind are mad.
If most men were ruled by reason.
How were soldiers to be had ?
How would sailors be persuaded.
Then, to join a gallant crew
Destined to be cannonaded,
Shelled, and smashed, and cut in two ?
Who, if he could earn a navvie’s
Pay, would go where glory calls,
And submit himself to have his
Legs knocked off by cannon-balls ?
Glory? Worth how mere a button
To the greatest Captain, shot!
Nought to him that, dead as mutton,
Is, when gone, as soon forgot.
Worldliness, in every quarter,
And the love of self, abound
But for madness, scarce a martyr
To his country would be found.
What self-sacrifice, without it,
Should we thinking few obtain ?
Portunate for us, no doubt, it
Is that others are insane.
Advice Freely Given on all Occasions.
The Comte he Morny bullies, scolds and
lectures the Legislative Body in fine style. His
real distinctive title should be “Le MoRNY-feaw
de la France.” This would happily corroborate
what M. Jhles-Favre said about there being
but one journalist in Prance, and that was the
Emperor. Well, let us complete the sentence
by saying, “There is but one Journalist in
Prance, and Le MoRNY-fear is his Organ.”
PUNCH'S ESSENCE OE PARLIAMENT.
March 31s^. Monday. Mr. Smith that was, Lord Lyveden that is,
Mr. Punch dislikes small suspicions and unworthy suggestions. If a
person deserves to be trusted, trust him ; if he does not, cut the con-
nection. It seems that by reason of an informality the legislative acts
of South.Australia are of doubtful validity, and the Duke of New-
castle introduces , a Bill to remove the doubt. Smith that was,
Lyveden that is, hinted that the error might be a studied design on
the part of the colonists to frustrate the purpose of the Home Legis-
lature. The Duke at once smashed him by stating that the error was
one made not by the colonists but by the Governor, and that it was
detected and pointed out by a colonial lawyer. We imagine that Smith
that was, Lyveden that is, must be sorry he spoke.
Lord Palmerston refused to give any papeis about the persecution
of Protestants in Spain, because there were no such papers. Our repre-
sentative at Madrid was simply charged to lose no opportunity of
hinting in a civil manner that the Spaniards ought to be ashamed of
themselves. We have no idea what may be Pam’s estimate of the
number of social epigrams likely to be required before the unfortunate
Protestants can be reparteed out of prison, but if he really thinks that
such, weapons, will do, he is at liberty to put the Ambassador into com-
munication with one of our young men, who will turn on wit until the
prison-doors fly open. But more men have been joked into gaol than
out of it.
Then came on an interesting and important discussion. Sir Frede-
rick Smith called attention to the fight between the Merrimac and the
Monitor, American vessels, and demanded to know whether our Govern-
ment were learning a lesson upon the subject of invulnerable ships.
Sir G. C. Lewis made a reply. It is not often that Mr. Punch has the
pleasure of agreeing with Mr. Bright upon Military and Naval
questions, but that gentleman’s observations upon the fight and the
speech of the. War Minister were most proper. He said that the man
must be particularly stupid who did not see the importance of the inci-
dent in the war, and that the speech of Sir G. C. Lewis was most un-
satisfactory. Sir George thought that on the strength of a few davs’
experience the Government ought not to rush into costly experiments.
But less than a few days has sufficed to arrive at the certain knowledge
that (in smooth water) an iron clad ship can demolish a whole fleet of
wooden ships as easily as Mr. Punch demolishes any enemies that may
be unhappy enough to come in the way of his waked wrath. An inch
is as good as a mile for a home-thrust, as the Antiquary observes. If
Sir George Lewis is going to play the Old Fogy, and resist all im-
provements, the sooner he retires to some sequestered spot, and studies
his Greek authors without interruption by public affairs the better.
Meantime we beg to remind the learned man, that neither the Pyrrhic
phalanx nor Greek fire was invented by parties who declined to advance
with the military spirit of the time. Will that consideration move him
—or must we move him ?
Afterwards, on Estimates, Mr. Cowper recorded the solemn promise
that though the Trafalgar Square Fountains are now eye-sores, they
shall, in May, be something “ of which every Englishman will be
proud.” This splendid undertaking quite took away the breath of the
Committee. What in earth, or in water, is Cowper going to do to the
squirts ? We are afraid to guess, and must wait till May for leave to
be proud. The Copyright in Works of Art Bill passed the same even-
ing, so nobody will be able to pirate Cowper’s ideas of the Beautiful,
be they what they may.
Tuesday. Some Tipperary jurors want to know the character of the
water of the Shannon. Like Irishmen, they ask Lord Clanricarde
to ask the Lords to ask the question. Why don’t they take a header,
and find out for themselves ?
A debate on the Civil Service Examinations brought up the usual
nonsense about questions being asked which nobody could answer off
hand. Lord Stanley ridiculed the objections with considerable
success. We should not care to spend a week with the gentlemen
who brought forward some of the examination questions as problems
too deep for human solution. We should have incontinently discharged
our office-boy if he had not, on our ringing the bell and reading the list
to him, expressed the most profound contempt for, blended with a
desire to punch the head of, any Muff, as he succinctly put it, who
could not analyse the character of Hamlet and state who wrote the
Polyolbion.
Ever since Drury Lane Theatre was burned, the Sheridans have been
so fidgety about fire that they will hardly sit down in the room with a
person who happens to have a Rufus head. To-night one of them made
an attack upon the duty on Fire Insurance, ana though Lord Pal-
merston pleaded that some taxes must be paid, and Mr. Gladstone
angrily begged that the Budget might be waited for, Mr. Sheridan
pressed fiis point, and beat the Ministers by 127 to 116.
Mr. E. P. Bouverie was never considered the wisest man in the
world, and a much smarter person than himself called him in the