DOI Heft:
May 17, 1862
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16869#0201
May 17, 1862.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
193
A COOL REQUEST.
Wind N.E. Thermometer 29*.
Clara. “ Well, Charley, dear, as you say you are such a good Swimmer, do jump
in and get me that pretty Flower.”
MR. SLEIGH AND THE LAND THAT’S FREE.
Nothing like true Liberalism for making root and branch
work. Mu. Sleigh, the legal candidate, who opposed Mu.
Dohlton, the pottery candidate, for Lambeth, and was
defeated by a slight majority of 5124 to 754, is so convinced
that the people do not understand the true value of their
electoral privilege, that he proposes to pass a law to make
every elector present himself at the poll, and, under penalty
of a fine, either vote, or declare himself Neutral. An un-
fortunate person in the crowd ventured to cry out “We
live in a free country,” and we understand that the look of
scorn with which he was instantly scorched by Mu. Sleigh
was so intense, that its vividness, combined with the heat
of the day, melted the rash man up like wax-work, and if
he had not been promptly removed to the nearest public-
house, his widow would have had, instead of a husband,
only two half-boots filled with liquihed human nature. Live
in a free country, indeed ! But we think that Mb. Sleigh
lets the offenders down too easily, and that instead of a
pecuniary fine, a much severer penance should be inflicted
on electors, when a Liberal candidate looks for them in
vain. Should not an elector who fails to attend at all, be
soundly flogged r Should not an elector who gives only a
split vote instead of a plumper for the Liberal be sent to
penal servitude? And really, while we are asking questions,
should not an elector who votes for the Liberal’s opponent
be drawn, as of old, on a Sleigh to the place of execution,
and be hanged ? The only difficulty that could arise is
where, as at Lambeth, there were three Liberals, and a poor
elector might not know which to support—each being, as
at Lambeth, not a bit better than the others. But this is a
mere question of detail, and though Mr. Sleigh is not,
unfortunately chosen to be the Alter Ego of Mb. W. Wil-
liams, he might draw up a Bill making the desired change
in the Constitution, and hand it to the Law advisers of the
Crown. We shall learn the value of our privileges one of
these days.
“ Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow."
Thebe has long been a most provoking talk of General
Goyon leaving Rome. Why doesn’t he leave at once ? In
auctioneer’s phraseology, let us hope we shall soon hear
that it is “ Goyon—Goyon —Gone ! ” In fact, we should
rejoice to hear of a general departure on the side of the
French.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
May 5th, Monday. The country attorney must be up and stirring,
and hasten to put the screw upon his M.P. For Lord Westbury has
caused the House of Lords to pass his Conveyancing Reform Bills, and
if these be not defeated in the House of Commons, they will become
the Law of the Land, and the Land will pay less to the Law. It is
rather awful to contemplate; but we are actually at this moment in
peril of being able to make a cheap and safe title to property, and to
buy and sell it without paying as much for the sheep-skms as for the
sheep-walk. But, thank Mammon, we have a House of Attorneys, or
something that will show itself as mindful of their interests as they
themselves could be. Up, Six-and-eightpences, and at ’em !
Lambeth declared that it would not be represented by a barrister, or
any other person supposed to belong to the educated classes, but would
choose a member whose chief merit should lie in his bein'? an exact fac-
simile of our friend Viscount Williams. As Nature does not make
two people alike, there was a difficulty in procuring the precise article,
and, by a pardonable confusion in the Metropolitan mind, the recollec-
tion that potter’s clay was easily fashioned into any desired form, sent
the electors into a potter’s yard to look for their man. There they
found the potter himself (and a very clever and eminent potter he is);
and so they invited him to potter in the House of Commons. Mr. Sleigh,
the barrister, ventured fy) suggest that he would be a better member,
and Mr. Wilkinson, somewhat contumeliously called a Wilkinson,
haughtily apprised the Lambeth public that he should neither canvass,
flatter, nor carry them, but if they liked to elect him they might. They
did not like, nor would they have Mr. Sleigh, but they, that is to say
5,(124, out of 21,737, voted for Mr. Frederick Doulton, the Figulus
aforesaid, and to-night he took the oaths and his seat as Williams II.
We believe Mb. Doulton to be a sensible, business-like gentleman;
and we were considerably pleased with him for informing the impetuous
Electors of Lambeth that if they thought he was going to start off at
once at a gallop, like a tailor on horseback, they made a mistake, as he
intended to be silent, and study the manners and customs of the House,
before he essayed to improve its mind. One Dean Swift has a couple
of lines which, without change of names, curiously apply to the debate
of the night—
“ Next, here's [Sir] Robert’s vindication,
And Mr. Henley’s last oration.”
Mr. Robert Lowe has not yet been barrownighted that we have
heard of, or the line would be complete. To-night Mr. Walpole
announced that as the Government had submitted so very obediently
on the Education Question, he should not put his foot on their necks,
Mr. Robert Lowe, as above mentioned, “ vindicated” himself, and
Mr. Henley made an oration on the importance of Religious Educa-
tion. Mr. Walter very nearly carried a proposal for making the
education of the less favoured and fortunate classes rather more easy,
but was defeated by a narrow majority—seven only, in a house of 319.
In the discussion on a subsequent proposal, the Honourable Douglas
Pennant, a Conservative, and member for Carnarvonshire, had the
courage to say that he believed the Welsh language to be the Curse of
Wales, being the great obstacle to improvement. Of course it is, but
while a pack of sentimentalists keep up a twitter about it, and offer
prizes for Welsh odes and such like Gorilla utterances, how is the fatal
jargon to be exterminated? Here’s a health to Edward the First,
though we are sorry to say that historians now disbelieve that he did
spliflicate highborn Ho el,, soft Llewellyn, Modred, who made
Plinlimmon shudder with his dissonant ballads, and the rest of the
Welsh Bards—whose only merit was their having afforded T. G. the
subject for an ode that will outlast Snowdon.
Tuesday. Mr. Darby Griffith. “Will Lord Palmerston say
whether any hostile movements against Herat have been undertaken
by the Shah ? ”
Lord Palmerston {as Echo). “ Psha! ”
It was all very well to say “ psha ” to that eternal quidnunc, Mr.
Darby Griffith, but our dearly beloved Pam was a little rude to-
night, and much as we love him, we cannot allow him to take liberties.
He was asked a question about the Spithead forts, when he broke out
Nol. 42.
7
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
193
A COOL REQUEST.
Wind N.E. Thermometer 29*.
Clara. “ Well, Charley, dear, as you say you are such a good Swimmer, do jump
in and get me that pretty Flower.”
MR. SLEIGH AND THE LAND THAT’S FREE.
Nothing like true Liberalism for making root and branch
work. Mu. Sleigh, the legal candidate, who opposed Mu.
Dohlton, the pottery candidate, for Lambeth, and was
defeated by a slight majority of 5124 to 754, is so convinced
that the people do not understand the true value of their
electoral privilege, that he proposes to pass a law to make
every elector present himself at the poll, and, under penalty
of a fine, either vote, or declare himself Neutral. An un-
fortunate person in the crowd ventured to cry out “We
live in a free country,” and we understand that the look of
scorn with which he was instantly scorched by Mu. Sleigh
was so intense, that its vividness, combined with the heat
of the day, melted the rash man up like wax-work, and if
he had not been promptly removed to the nearest public-
house, his widow would have had, instead of a husband,
only two half-boots filled with liquihed human nature. Live
in a free country, indeed ! But we think that Mb. Sleigh
lets the offenders down too easily, and that instead of a
pecuniary fine, a much severer penance should be inflicted
on electors, when a Liberal candidate looks for them in
vain. Should not an elector who fails to attend at all, be
soundly flogged r Should not an elector who gives only a
split vote instead of a plumper for the Liberal be sent to
penal servitude? And really, while we are asking questions,
should not an elector who votes for the Liberal’s opponent
be drawn, as of old, on a Sleigh to the place of execution,
and be hanged ? The only difficulty that could arise is
where, as at Lambeth, there were three Liberals, and a poor
elector might not know which to support—each being, as
at Lambeth, not a bit better than the others. But this is a
mere question of detail, and though Mr. Sleigh is not,
unfortunately chosen to be the Alter Ego of Mb. W. Wil-
liams, he might draw up a Bill making the desired change
in the Constitution, and hand it to the Law advisers of the
Crown. We shall learn the value of our privileges one of
these days.
“ Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow."
Thebe has long been a most provoking talk of General
Goyon leaving Rome. Why doesn’t he leave at once ? In
auctioneer’s phraseology, let us hope we shall soon hear
that it is “ Goyon—Goyon —Gone ! ” In fact, we should
rejoice to hear of a general departure on the side of the
French.
PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
May 5th, Monday. The country attorney must be up and stirring,
and hasten to put the screw upon his M.P. For Lord Westbury has
caused the House of Lords to pass his Conveyancing Reform Bills, and
if these be not defeated in the House of Commons, they will become
the Law of the Land, and the Land will pay less to the Law. It is
rather awful to contemplate; but we are actually at this moment in
peril of being able to make a cheap and safe title to property, and to
buy and sell it without paying as much for the sheep-skms as for the
sheep-walk. But, thank Mammon, we have a House of Attorneys, or
something that will show itself as mindful of their interests as they
themselves could be. Up, Six-and-eightpences, and at ’em !
Lambeth declared that it would not be represented by a barrister, or
any other person supposed to belong to the educated classes, but would
choose a member whose chief merit should lie in his bein'? an exact fac-
simile of our friend Viscount Williams. As Nature does not make
two people alike, there was a difficulty in procuring the precise article,
and, by a pardonable confusion in the Metropolitan mind, the recollec-
tion that potter’s clay was easily fashioned into any desired form, sent
the electors into a potter’s yard to look for their man. There they
found the potter himself (and a very clever and eminent potter he is);
and so they invited him to potter in the House of Commons. Mr. Sleigh,
the barrister, ventured fy) suggest that he would be a better member,
and Mr. Wilkinson, somewhat contumeliously called a Wilkinson,
haughtily apprised the Lambeth public that he should neither canvass,
flatter, nor carry them, but if they liked to elect him they might. They
did not like, nor would they have Mr. Sleigh, but they, that is to say
5,(124, out of 21,737, voted for Mr. Frederick Doulton, the Figulus
aforesaid, and to-night he took the oaths and his seat as Williams II.
We believe Mb. Doulton to be a sensible, business-like gentleman;
and we were considerably pleased with him for informing the impetuous
Electors of Lambeth that if they thought he was going to start off at
once at a gallop, like a tailor on horseback, they made a mistake, as he
intended to be silent, and study the manners and customs of the House,
before he essayed to improve its mind. One Dean Swift has a couple
of lines which, without change of names, curiously apply to the debate
of the night—
“ Next, here's [Sir] Robert’s vindication,
And Mr. Henley’s last oration.”
Mr. Robert Lowe has not yet been barrownighted that we have
heard of, or the line would be complete. To-night Mr. Walpole
announced that as the Government had submitted so very obediently
on the Education Question, he should not put his foot on their necks,
Mr. Robert Lowe, as above mentioned, “ vindicated” himself, and
Mr. Henley made an oration on the importance of Religious Educa-
tion. Mr. Walter very nearly carried a proposal for making the
education of the less favoured and fortunate classes rather more easy,
but was defeated by a narrow majority—seven only, in a house of 319.
In the discussion on a subsequent proposal, the Honourable Douglas
Pennant, a Conservative, and member for Carnarvonshire, had the
courage to say that he believed the Welsh language to be the Curse of
Wales, being the great obstacle to improvement. Of course it is, but
while a pack of sentimentalists keep up a twitter about it, and offer
prizes for Welsh odes and such like Gorilla utterances, how is the fatal
jargon to be exterminated? Here’s a health to Edward the First,
though we are sorry to say that historians now disbelieve that he did
spliflicate highborn Ho el,, soft Llewellyn, Modred, who made
Plinlimmon shudder with his dissonant ballads, and the rest of the
Welsh Bards—whose only merit was their having afforded T. G. the
subject for an ode that will outlast Snowdon.
Tuesday. Mr. Darby Griffith. “Will Lord Palmerston say
whether any hostile movements against Herat have been undertaken
by the Shah ? ”
Lord Palmerston {as Echo). “ Psha! ”
It was all very well to say “ psha ” to that eternal quidnunc, Mr.
Darby Griffith, but our dearly beloved Pam was a little rude to-
night, and much as we love him, we cannot allow him to take liberties.
He was asked a question about the Spithead forts, when he broke out
Nol. 42.
7